TheSolitaryMan
Well-known member
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2011
- Messages
- 1,561
- Reaction score
- 1
I'm in my twenties, I've been on about 7 dates this year with girls that sort of age. These have been the first dates I've had, I suppose. And so far I've just been kind of...disappointed.
Out of those seven dates, 3 girls were just kind of messing me about for whatever reason. They wanted attention, or were just bored or something. So we went on a date, they said they had a great time, then I never got a second date because they went silent. Felt bad the first time, then I realised that I'm not that bothered if other people don't put the effort in.
Two girls seemed genuinely lovely (as in, I spent the whole date thinking "Okay, cool, I'm clicking a lot with this person, this is great.")
But then one turned out to be just messing about again (hurt tbh, since I was really surprised she just "switched off"), and the other was really great and enthusiastic but *so* **** flakey and busy that getting another date was borderline impossible even when she arranged it and I just gave up three months later.
The last two were kind of in-between these archetypes. Had good dates, had a hug, got phone numbers etc. if I didn't already have them, but then they moved away/got ill/got bored and that was that.
Anyway, this is rambly. Just...I feel like this is exactly the time in my life I should be meeting girls, enjoying dating, enjoying intimacy, having cool relationships.
But everyone I meet is really busy, I'm really busy, lots of girls seem to have serious issues already in their lives (drug abuse, bereavement, past sexual abuse, all sorts of nasty stuff...) and actually it feels stupidly difficult to get a "normal" relationship.
The friends I've talked to suggest that I just skip the dating and sleep with the first person I can and then see if a relationship develops because "that's how things start now"; IMO though that's pretty desperate and not really how I want to start things with someone...
However, these same friends hit me with the "Ah, just keep trying" line and then seem surprised when I say it's been 7 girls now. But then they've also just said I'm unlucky with this stuff.
So I'm not sure what to believe. Is it really just a numbers game? Do I suck at dating? Are 90% of guys and girls in their 20's weirdly allergic to any kind of relationship that doesn't involve insta-bonking?
Do share your experiences please!
Out of those seven dates, 3 girls were just kind of messing me about for whatever reason. They wanted attention, or were just bored or something. So we went on a date, they said they had a great time, then I never got a second date because they went silent. Felt bad the first time, then I realised that I'm not that bothered if other people don't put the effort in.
Two girls seemed genuinely lovely (as in, I spent the whole date thinking "Okay, cool, I'm clicking a lot with this person, this is great.")
But then one turned out to be just messing about again (hurt tbh, since I was really surprised she just "switched off"), and the other was really great and enthusiastic but *so* **** flakey and busy that getting another date was borderline impossible even when she arranged it and I just gave up three months later.
The last two were kind of in-between these archetypes. Had good dates, had a hug, got phone numbers etc. if I didn't already have them, but then they moved away/got ill/got bored and that was that.
Anyway, this is rambly. Just...I feel like this is exactly the time in my life I should be meeting girls, enjoying dating, enjoying intimacy, having cool relationships.
But everyone I meet is really busy, I'm really busy, lots of girls seem to have serious issues already in their lives (drug abuse, bereavement, past sexual abuse, all sorts of nasty stuff...) and actually it feels stupidly difficult to get a "normal" relationship.
The friends I've talked to suggest that I just skip the dating and sleep with the first person I can and then see if a relationship develops because "that's how things start now"; IMO though that's pretty desperate and not really how I want to start things with someone...
However, these same friends hit me with the "Ah, just keep trying" line and then seem surprised when I say it's been 7 girls now. But then they've also just said I'm unlucky with this stuff.
So I'm not sure what to believe. Is it really just a numbers game? Do I suck at dating? Are 90% of guys and girls in their 20's weirdly allergic to any kind of relationship that doesn't involve insta-bonking?
Do share your experiences please!