Dating sites are depressing

[putter65]

I find internet dating very hard, but as I have had no luck meeting someone the 'normal' way, it is hard to know what else to do. It is depressing though. When you first start, it seems that there are so many people out there who might be right for you, but as time goes on and after a series of awkward meetings with forced conversation, you start to wonder what is wrong with you.

It's amazing how it can go wrong so quickly. At 3pm yesterday she sends an message saying she thinks I write interesting and happy messages and she was wondering whether we can meet for coffee. I got home at 5pm, read her message and replied to it. I said it would be nice to meet for coffee and suggested possible days.

Last night before I went to bed at 9.30pm I go on the website and see that she is online. She hasn't replied to my message though. I don't think much of it. I go to bed and get up at 5am. I had a look this morning and see she is online again but again no message for me. Right there and then I knew she wouldn't reply to my message and I wouldn't hear from her ever again. I also figured she had met somebody. chatted with him last night and was so excited she gets up early to chat with him again. Part of me thinks I am jumping to massive conclusions. Just being negative. But I still haven't had a reply from her. It was all too easy, too 'good to be true' - I mean when something half decent happens I wait for it to go wrong. It always does.

 

[Tiina63]

Yes, things can go wrong so fast. And with online dating you can't even try and make yourself believe that maybe they are unwell or too busy to get in touch or something as, with the girl you wrote about, you can see that they are online. And when you are lonely like us, you read a lot into any positive messages from someone, while someone else might take them with a pinch of salt.

 

[putter65]

Yes, things can go wrong so fast. And with online dating you can't even try and make yourself believe that maybe they are unwell or too busy to get in touch or something as, with the girl you wrote about, you can see that they are online. And when you are lonely like us, you read a lot into any positive messages from someone, while someone else might take them with a pinch of salt.

yes I agree. The thing is messages take a couple of minutes to write and the fact she didn't bother replying to my letter sort of proves she doesn't care. I did figure she was probably writing to dozens of others on the site. Attractive people take their pick. We are left to pick up the crumbs.

I do take positive messages with a pinch of salt. It's like 'yeah whatever' - don't believe a word of it. It's an horrible attitude to have !

 

[IgnoredOne]

Dating sites are creepy to me. Its so much like a meat market, or so it feels.

 

[putter65]

I've just looked, over 130 women have viewed my profile. One as sent a message to me.

Just depressing

 

[Stars]

I've been on there for a long time...I've had about the same, if not more...
It's not easy...hang in there...

 

[theraab]

Putter - if you've had that many women look at your profile but only one email, that leads me to think that your profile might need some sprucing up (they see your picture and click on it, so it is not a problem of looks). You might want to have a female friend review what you have written and compare it to what some other guys have written, and see if she can offer some insight.

 

[putter65]

Putter - if you've had that many women look at your profile but only one email, that leads me to think that your profile might need some sprucing up (they see your picture and click on it, so it is not a problem of looks). You might want to have a female friend review what you have written and compare it to what some other guys have written, and see if she can offer some insight.

the women are looking at my profile because I view theirs. I think my profile is okay, I mean what can you put ?

my photo is allright, Im not that good in front of the camera though

---

I've been on there for a long time...I've had about the same, if not more...
It's not easy...hang in there...

it's not worth getting upset about is it ?

 

[abbeyroad92]

I'm too scared to put up a profile pic on my POF account. I feel like if I do and no one messages me or responds, it'll prove that I'll be alone forever. At least if I meet no one in the real world, I have excuses. But when you're on a website where everyone's goal is to meet someone, and no one messages you... honestly I'm scared just thinking of it. A girl messaged me a week and a half ago on POF. I was so excited. We sent a few messages back and forth. Even for someone like me who is a little lonely and would love to have a girlfriend, I knew she wasn't my type, nor would I be hers. She dropped out of high school and planned on getting a GED. She seemed immature and had terrible writing skills for a 19 year old. I'm not picky at all when it comes to looks or anything, but I'd prefer someone from a similar educational and lifestyle background as myself. Anyways, after responding to a simple question she asked, I haven't heard back from her. I know it has nothing to do with my response. I know it's because she's not interested in me. I'm not interested in her either. Then why do I keep on checking POF everyday hoping she'll message me back. Hoping that she accidentally clicked on my message and didn't read it, and just forgot to respond all this time later. She's the only person that has ever messaged my pic-less profile. Every once in a while I'll see a message in my inbox. After my heart skips a beat, I realize it's just an event invitation on POF. Online dating makes me feel even more lonely than I was before. I feel like such a loser some times.

 

[theraab]

There are a few things you might be able to do. One is to get a profile pic of you doing something active - it is more interesting looking to begin with; or if you want to keep a regular pic on there, I read somewhere that men who aren't looking directly at the camera and who aren't smiling get a better response than those who are (it is the opposite for women).
But as far as your profile, think about all the women's profiles that you have seen - how many of them said that they enjoy traveling, having fun, and are looking for a nice guy? Do any of those profiles stand out in your mind? I'm willing to bet there is someone who has had some unique thing on her profile that you do remember, though - same thing.
I've been on Eharmony for about 6 weeks and I've had 26 or 27 women initiate contact (I'm an average looking guy) - one of the women I met for coffee told me she liked my profile because I mentioned I had a loud voice. It's something that stood out to her. That's what I mean.

 

[putter65]

I'm too scared to put up a profile pic on my POF account. I feel like if I do and no one messages me or responds, it'll prove that I'll be alone forever. At least if I meet no one in the real world, I have excuses. But when you're on a website where everyone's goal is to meet someone, and no one messages you... honestly I'm scared just thinking of it. A girl messaged me a week and a half ago on POF. I was so excited. We sent a few messages back and forth. Even for someone like me who is a little lonely and would love to have a girlfriend, I knew she wasn't my type, nor would I be hers. She dropped out of high school and planned on getting a GED. She seemed immature and had terrible writing skills for a 19 year old. I'm not picky at all when it comes to looks or anything, but I'd prefer someone from a similar educational and lifestyle background as myself. Anyways, after responding to a simple question she asked, I haven't heard back from her. I know it has nothing to do with my response. I know it's because she's not interested in me. I'm not interested in her either. Then why do I keep on checking POF everyday hoping she'll message me back. Hoping that she accidentally clicked on my message and didn't read it, and just forgot to respond all this time later. She's the only person that has ever messaged my pic-less profile. Every once in a while I'll see a message in my inbox. After my heart skips a beat, I realize it's just an event invitation on POF. Online dating makes me feel even more lonely than I was before. I feel like such a loser some times.

don't be too down about what is happening to you on POF. I have the same thing. Many more people will be in the same boat as you. Not everybody is going on dates and getting messages galore ! I would put a photo on there though. It might increase your chances a little bit. I have put my ugly mug on there. I can do it, you can !

 

[putter65]

I just don't understand how pig ******* ignorant some women are. What is so hard about writing a few words ? - I have met someone else, I am not interested - something like that ?

I reply to everybody even ******* scammers. Women who are obviously trying to scam me. I will say 'sorry, not interested'

Anybody who writes me anything, I will reply to it. No matter what it is.

 

[perfanoff]

Imagine if every woman you write to explicitly contacts you to express she doesn't find you attractive Would you really want that? Not getting a message at all doesn't focus you on distasteful facts.

 

[putter65]

Imagine if every woman you write to explicitly contacts you to express she doesn't find you attractive Would you really want that? Not getting a message at all doesn't focus you on distasteful facts.

i just think when you swap half a dozen messages with someone, it is polite to say 'sorry, not interested' especially when they mentioned 'meeting'

I don't expect anything from women who I send a bog standard letter to.

 

[perfanoff]

Oh definitely. The courtesy of providing closure is lost to many.

 

[putter65]

Oh definitely. The courtesy of providing closure is lost to many.

it's frustrating because the further away a woman is, the more interested they are. It's sod's law !

 

[putter65]

Oh definitely. The courtesy of providing closure is lost to many.

just got a letter from her, a 'sorry, your not my type' letter. I wonder why ? Was I too keen ? Her loss !

 

[NotDarkYet]

As much as I can't stand dating sites, I have joined a few recently after the desperation in me to find some company(not sex ) took over.Not liking them at all so far.

 

[putter65]

As much as I can't stand dating sites, I have joined a few recently after the desperation in me to find some company(not sex ) took over.Not liking them at all so far.

one woman in her profile said she would definately send a reply to every message. So I sent her a message and guess what ? No reply ! lol !

 

[putter65]

As much as I can't stand dating sites, I have joined a few recently after the desperation in me to find some company(not sex ) took over.Not liking them at all so far.

one woman in her profile said she would definately send a reply to every message. So I sent her a message and guess what ? No reply ! lol !

I've give up with the ******* thing, waste of time. I found a good profile from the internet and posted that up. I also found a photo of a decent looking bloke. Already had loads of views and one as added me as a favourite. They say they want genuine, honest. They never say attractive. My photo (even though it's a good one of me) will put off 95% of the women.

Balls to it all, better things to do !