Do you see any point?

[RedstoneOf1976]

Quick question : Do you see any point living past 50 when you have no desire to retire?

The reason Im asking because I'm a single 34 year old guy that has never had sex let alone girlfriend or married. I survive alone in a 1k sq. ft. house. Seems the only reason Im living is to work to make money to pay off my mortgage by the time Im 48 and pay off my debts while having money to pay for desposing of my courpse. I would go nuts if I had to spend my old age stuck in my house. The only time I leave the house is to work and get supplies. The rest of the time see and hear how screwed up the human race is and I don't want to get into the mess that is society. I know there are good people out there but a few nut jobs can ruin it for them. I guess Im a realist.

 

[Mary Mary]

Quick question : Do you see any point living past 50 when you have no desire to retire?

The reason Im asking because I'm a single 34 year old guy that has never had sex let alone girlfriend or married. I survive alone in a 1k sq. ft. house. Seems the only reason Im living is to work to make money to pay off my mortgage by the time Im 48 and pay off my debts while having money to pay for desposing of my courpse. I would go nuts if I had to spend my old age stuck in my house. The only time I leave the house is to work and get supplies. The rest of the time see and hear how screwed up the human race is and I don't want to get into the mess that is society. I know there are good people out there but a few nut jobs can ruin it for them. I guess Im a realist.

I think life totally sucks, but there's enough good times for me to make me keep plugging along.

What do you think would make you want to live past 50?

 

[LGH1288]

Dear Redstone (cool nic!) -- I see a reason; you just joined a great bunch of people who'll surprise you & bring a little sunshine into your life. Please give us a chance to get to know you. Keep on posting, throwing out shouts & join in the real-time chat room. Then you'll start to see the sunshine beaming into what I predict will become a real "love shack". Maybe you won't meet the right partner right away but you'll start to fall in love with your life. Yeah, maybe we'll surprise you & maybe you'll surprise yourself! Welcome to ALL, LG

 

[RedstoneOf1976]

Quick question : Do you see any point living past 50 when you have no desire to retire?

The reason Im asking because I'm a single 34 year old guy that has never had sex let alone girlfriend or married. I survive alone in a 1k sq. ft. house. Seems the only reason Im living is to work to make money to pay off my mortgage by the time Im 48 and pay off my debts while having money to pay for desposing of my courpse. I would go nuts if I had to spend my old age stuck in my house. The only time I leave the house is to work and get supplies. The rest of the time see and hear how screwed up the human race is and I don't want to get into the mess that is society. I know there are good people out there but a few nut jobs can ruin it for them. I guess Im a realist.

I think life totally sucks, but there's enough good times for me to make me keep plugging along.

What do you think would make you want to live past 50?

I really don't mean to be rude but If I knew the answer I wouldn't have made the post. As for the good times you talk about well when Im forced out to a social function where there are women and wine, I don't usally have an enlightning experience. The next morning I'm alone and have a hangover and realise that the evening wasn't worth the money, booze or a goodnight's sleep.

---

Dear Redstone (cool nic!) -- I see a reason; you just joined a great bunch of people who'll surprise you & bring a little sunshine into your life. Please give us a chance to get to know you. Keep on posting, throwing out shouts & join in the real-time chat room. Then you'll start to see the sunshine beaming into what I predict will become a real "love shack". Maybe you won't meet the right partner right away but you'll start to fall in love with your life. Yeah, maybe we'll surprise you & maybe you'll surprise yourself! Welcome to ALL, LG

Thanks for your reply but what you call "love shack" scares the driblets out me. I have had 2 cats as pets one time but I had to give them away because they were always looking for attention and preventing me from doing what I had or wanted to do. I swear it was like having kids!! I have been out with a female friend of mine (married of course) for a movie night and she had invited a girl friend of her's. And no she did not set me up with her friend because she knows better. It was a nice evening and her friend was pleasant company. Next day my friend called and appologized saying that she didn't intend to set me up and she was nauseated of all the flirting that was going on between me and her friend. The first thought through my mind was "WTF is she talking about!" I did not hold her friend's hand or rub up againdt her or stand within 3 feet of her. We were on opposite sides of a couch most of the night! Then I relized she had asked for my number and wanted me to watch NFL with her that night. I saw no harm with giving her my number since I'm away from my house 12 hours 6 days a week. I politely declined watching the NFL game because I'm not a fan of the American version of football. I guess she took my be polite and courteous as flirting. That really shook me up. I had unknowingly led a pleasant slightly overweight woman on then shut the door in her face. That really bugged me. I had to figure out what I had done and to stop that behavour immediatly. Then I realized that she was lonely and saw that a guy was treating her nice and she took a chance. I guess I either turn into an a**hole to make me undesireable or just stay home.

 

[LGH1288]

Dear Redstone (cool nic!) -- I see a reason; you just joined a great bunch of people who'll surprise you & bring a little sunshine into your life. Please give us a chance to get to know you. Keep on posting, throwing out shouts & join in the real-time chat room. Then you'll start to see the sunshine beaming into what I predict will become a real "love shack". Maybe you won't meet the right partner right away but you'll start to fall in love with your life. Yeah, maybe we'll surprise you & maybe you'll surprise yourself! Welcome to ALL, LG

Thanks for your reply but what you call "love shack" scares the driblets out me. I have had 2 cats as pets one time but I had to give them away because they were always looking for attention and preventing me from doing what I had or wanted to do. I swear it was like having kids!! I have been out with a female friend of mine (married of course) for a movie night and she had invited a girl friend of her's. And no she did not set me up with her friend because she knows better. It was a nice evening and her friend was pleasant company. Next day my friend called and appologized saying that she didn't intend to set me up and she was nauseated of all the flirting that was going on between me and her friend. The first thought through my mind was "WTF is she talking about!" I did not hold her friend's hand or rub up againdt her or stand within 3 feet of her. We were on opposite sides of a couch most of the night! Then I relized she had asked for my number and wanted me to watch NFL with her that night. I saw no harm with giving her my number since I'm away from my house 12 hours 6 days a week. I politely declined watching the NFL game because I'm not a fan of the American version of football. I guess she took my be polite and courteous as flirting. That really shook me up. I had unknowingly led a pleasant slightly overweight woman on then shut the door in her face. That really bugged me. I had to figure out what I had done and to stop that behavour immediatly. Then I realized that she was lonely and saw that a guy was treating her nice and she took a chance. I guess I either turn into an a**hole to make me undesireable or just stay home.

LOL I know what you mean about the cats being like children! Yes, having pets are a big responsibility. With regard to your married friend's girlfriend, I think she misread your intention. It's clear you weren't hitting one her. I guess she got HER signals a little mixed up. I suppose it was her HER wishful thinking. I don't blame you for being annoyed since you were only socializing, not on a date and someone makes a big, silly complication of a simple thing. Sometimes these things happen and yes, it could happen again. But, just keep on being yourself because there'll always be people who push their own agendas. Ignore them & do what makes you happy. LG

 

[Mary Mary]

Quick question : Do you see any point living past 50 when you have no desire to retire?

The reason Im asking because I'm a single 34 year old guy that has never had sex let alone girlfriend or married. I survive alone in a 1k sq. ft. house. Seems the only reason Im living is to work to make money to pay off my mortgage by the time Im 48 and pay off my debts while having money to pay for desposing of my courpse. I would go nuts if I had to spend my old age stuck in my house. The only time I leave the house is to work and get supplies. The rest of the time see and hear how screwed up the human race is and I don't want to get into the mess that is society. I know there are good people out there but a few nut jobs can ruin it for them. I guess Im a realist.

I think life totally sucks, but there's enough good times for me to make me keep plugging along.

What do you think would make you want to live past 50?

I really don't mean to be rude but If I knew the answer I wouldn't have made the post. As for the good times you talk about well when Im forced out to a social function where there are women and wine, I don't usally have an enlightning experience. The next morning I'm alone and have a hangover and realise that the evening wasn't worth the money, booze or a goodnight's sleep.

You're not being rude. Your answer was actually very informative.

I really, really wish there was something I could say to make the empty nightmare that you seem to live in go away; but I can't. All I can say as a layman that you seem to have a deep distortion in your perceptions and emotional processes. You probably already know that.

I know this sounds cliche, but it's the only meaningful answer I can offer is that you should seek counseling. If you have an intellectual desire to live beyond retirement, then you just need an emotional desire; and you'll have to change how you process thoughts and emotions.

As someone who recovered for depression and OCD, there's probably no magic bullet for you as there was none for me. It took ten years of therapy and a very sincere effort on my part to recover, but I did it. I basically reprogrammed myself.

I don't know if you can recover. There are treatment resistant conditions, but many conditions are treatable. Maybe you've gone down that road in which case this discussion is moot.

However, if you haven't, I'd encourage you to explore it before you make a decision for yourself.

Finally, to answer your point more directly. When you reach retirement age, there's still plenty that you can do. I plan to do missionary work (engineers without borders) when I retired.

 

[IShouldBeStudying]

Quick question : Do you see any point living past 50 when you have no desire to retire?

I have no desire to ever retire either and I certainly would prefer to live past fifty. The point to living then would seem to be approximately the same as the point to living before you reach fifty. Many people find working itself to be an ends instead of a means and thus love their job.

If you are comfortable with me asking: why don't you have a girlfriend? It sounds like you recently met a young woman who wants to get to know you better and considering you also have platonic female friends you obviously do not creep women out. If you feel being unattached is a detriment to your happiness I am sure you could rectify that situation.

My condo is 60% as large as your house. There isn't anything wrong with a small living space. Less to clean.

Again, if you are comfortable with me asking: what are your interests and goals in your life? What makes you happy and gets you out of bed in the morning? What makes you smile?

I plan to do missionary work (engineers without borders) when I retired.

I know somebody who did that briefly last year. One of the most selfless people I know. She posted her experiences on Facebook: it sounds like a wonderful and pleasant retirement.

 

[Mary Mary]

I know somebody who did that briefly last year. One of the most selfless people I know. She posted her experiences on Facebook: it sounds like a wonderful and pleasant retirement.

If I won the lottery, that's all I would do.

(My condo is as big as yours. - Didn't want a 30-year mortgage.)

 

[Brian]

Find an adventure to plan on, man, or borrow mine.

When I retire I'm buying a sailboat, 40'-ish Cruiser. And I'm going to literally sail the world; just me, the wind, the ocean...and my destination. Come whatever may, if I die then I die. The plan right now is to do it alone, which will be slow and tiring, but that's the plan. If I have a 'first mate' by then, be it an excellent friend/colleague or a long-term significant other, then so be it, I'll enjoy the company and extra sleep. But the plan so far is to fly solo.

I imagine I'll also do some backpacking, alone or otherwise.

 

[RedstoneOf1976]

Quick question : Do you see any point living past 50 when you have no desire to retire?

I have no desire to ever retire either and I certainly would prefer to live past fifty. The point to living then would seem to be approximately the same as the point to living before you reach fifty. Many people find working itself to be an ends instead of a means and thus love their job.

If you are comfortable with me asking: why don't you have a girlfriend? It sounds like you recently met a young woman who wants to get to know you better and considering you also have platonic female friends you obviously do not creep women out. If you feel being unattached is a detriment to your happiness I am sure you could rectify that situation.

My condo is 60% as large as your house. There isn't anything wrong with a small living space. Less to clean.

Again, if you are comfortable with me asking: what are your interests and goals in your life? What makes you happy and gets you out of bed in the morning? What makes you smile?

I plan to do missionary work (engineers without borders) when I retired.

I know somebody who did that briefly last year. One of the most selfless people I know. She posted her experiences on Facebook: it sounds like a wonderful and pleasant retirement.

Thanks for your reply. For me getting a companion well I have been alone all my adult life. Another person touching me feels foreign and makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't know the first thing about dating and I am sure I have a lot of weird habits developed from being a hermit. One being someone or animal messing around with me or my belongings. So no I am not willing nor able to have a girlfriend.
The reason I bought the house (and it's not a trailer) was it WAS small. What I wanted was a 600 sq. ft house but try and find one. Hell my bedroom is the spare bedroom. No need for a large bedroom when you sleep on a twin. Just doesn't look right.
My commitments to my job get me out of bed in the morning. And I hate the thought of me being in debt to someone or thing. I freely help my friends and I get pissed when they try to repay. I have been known to come up of a way to do the job of 2 people by myself. My friends find out and they get pissed @ me! I once walked 2 miles back to my house in -35'C when my car got stuck in the snow. I had full winter gear and boots so I knew I would be safe. Walked home in 20 minutes and got my truck to pulled out the car. Drove the car home. Drove my snowmobile back to the truck. Loaded the sled in the truck and got them home. They bitched me out for weeks. My thoughts what kind of friend would I be to send them out and freeze for my screwup. No harm done. I should have kept my adventure to myself.
And what are my goals? To be honest...... none. Do I smile or laugh? Not much. Im a pessimist. I find comedies stupid and I don't watch them.
This is harsh but I think there are way to many people in the world and what the planet needs is about half the population to disappear. I don't want to be insulting but I am an athiest and think that all religion is made up propagand and blinds people. More wars have been caused from religion than anything else. But saying that our body runs on electricity and you cannot destroy energy. Only convert it to an other state.

---

Find an adventure to plan on, man, or borrow mine.

When I retire I'm buying a sailboat, 40'-ish Cruiser. And I'm going to literally sail the world; just me, the wind, the ocean...and my destination. Come whatever may, if I die then I die. The plan right now is to do it alone, which will be slow and tiring, but that's the plan. If I have a 'first mate' by then, be it an excellent friend/colleague or a long-term significant other, then so be it, I'll enjoy the company and extra sleep. But the plan so far is to fly solo.

I imagine I'll also do some backpacking, alone or otherwise.

---

Find an adventure to plan on, man, or borrow mine.

When I retire I'm buying a sailboat, 40'-ish Cruiser. And I'm going to literally sail the world; just me, the wind, the ocean...and my destination. Come whatever may, if I die then I die. The plan right now is to do it alone, which will be slow and tiring, but that's the plan. If I have a 'first mate' by then, be it an excellent friend/colleague or a long-term significant other, then so be it, I'll enjoy the company and extra sleep. But the plan so far is to fly solo.

I imagine I'll also do some backpacking, alone or otherwise.

I hope the best for you and your future travels. I work for a
Bombardier Recreational Products dealership as a tech so I work on Evenrude, Ski doo and Can-Am products. I can see your love for the water and the experiance of open water. I have quaded out in the bush literly dozens of miles from any building or road and camped under the stars (we have 17 hours of daylight on the summer solstice where I live.) The peace and quiet is breath taking. All I can say is you got a passion that is not in me. Most of my life I have seen something I liked and have said "Nope not for me" and walked away.

---

Quick question : Do you see any point living past 50 when you have no desire to retire?

The reason Im asking because I'm a single 34 year old guy that has never had sex let alone girlfriend or married. I survive alone in a 1k sq. ft. house. Seems the only reason Im living is to work to make money to pay off my mortgage by the time Im 48 and pay off my debts while having money to pay for desposing of my courpse. I would go nuts if I had to spend my old age stuck in my house. The only time I leave the house is to work and get supplies. The rest of the time see and hear how screwed up the human race is and I don't want to get into the mess that is society. I know there are good people out there but a few nut jobs can ruin it for them. I guess Im a realist.

I think life totally sucks, but there's enough good times for me to make me keep plugging along.

What do you think would make you want to live past 50?

I really don't mean to be rude but If I knew the answer I wouldn't have made the post. As for the good times you talk about well when Im forced out to a social function where there are women and wine, I don't usally have an enlightning experience. The next morning I'm alone and have a hangover and realise that the evening wasn't worth the money, booze or a goodnight's sleep.

You're not being rude. Your answer was actually very informative.

I really, really wish there was something I could say to make the empty nightmare that you seem to live in go away; but I can't. All I can say as a layman that you seem to have a deep distortion in your perceptions and emotional processes. You probably already know that.

I know this sounds cliche, but it's the only meaningful answer I can offer is that you should seek counseling. If you have an intellectual desire to live beyond retirement, then you just need an emotional desire; and you'll have to change how you process thoughts and emotions.

As someone who recovered for depression and OCD, there's probably no magic bullet for you as there was none for me. It took ten years of therapy and a very sincere effort on my part to recover, but I did it. I basically reprogrammed myself.

I don't know if you can recover. There are treatment resistant conditions, but many conditions are treatable. Maybe you've gone down that road in which case this discussion is moot.

However, if you haven't, I'd encourage you to explore it before you make a decision for yourself.

Finally, to answer your point more directly. When you reach retirement age, there's still plenty that you can do. I plan to do missionary work (engineers without borders) when I retired.



Exellent comment about seeking help. That has crossed my mind. But I am way to independant and stubburn (or stupid?) to ask for help. I do watch what I eat and do exercise. I am 5' 11 155 lb with a 30" waist. I've read that diet and exercise helps with depression.

 

[Mary Mary]

Exellent comment about seeking help. That has crossed my mind. But I am way to independant and stubburn (or stupid?) to ask for help. I do watch what I eat and do exercise. I am 5' 11 155 lb with a 30" waist. I've read that diet and exercise helps with depression.

I got the impression that you were content with your life and that you weren't depressed about anything; but you just seemed 'depressed'. (I'm not a psychologist or doctor, so I don't really know. Actually, schizoid personality is what actually comes to mind, but I don't know.)

I had been depressed for about 20 years and didn't know it. I wasn't sad. I didn't want to jump off of a building or anything; but, as I told my therapist friend, I felt like life was the 'waiting room of death'. At her prompting, I ended up in a psychiatrist's office. I was diagnosed with depression and given a prescription. I totally didn't believe it; but I'm game for anything, so what the hell? Might as well give it a try, right?

Six weeks later, I was stunned at how different I felt. Like I said, there's no magic bullet, and the pills didn't resolve a lot of my issues; but it made me realize that things could be different.

Having a schizoid type personality makes you a good candidate for missionary work. You're not encumbered by the desires that often make other people more ego-centric like wanting to get married, having lots of material possessions, or impressing other people. Also having something to get up and go to everyday seems to give you relief from the emptiness that you feel.

Also, going to a psychiatrist isn't just about getting help, it's about getting treatment for a medical condition.

 

[RedstoneOf1976]

Exellent comment about seeking help. That has crossed my mind. But I am way to independant and stubburn (or stupid?) to ask for help. I do watch what I eat and do exercise. I am 5' 11 155 lb with a 30" waist. I've read that diet and exercise helps with depression.

I got the impression that you were content with your life and that you weren't depressed about anything; but you just seemed 'depressed'. (I'm not a psychologist or doctor, so I don't really know. Actually, schizoid personality is what actually comes to mind, but I don't know.)

I had been depressed for about 20 years and didn't know it. I wasn't sad. I didn't want to jump off of a building or anything; but, as I told my therapist friend, I felt like life was the 'waiting room of death'. At her prompting, I ended up in a psychiatrist's office. I was diagnosed with depression and given a prescription. I totally didn't believe it; but I'm game for anything, so what the hell? Might as well give it a try, right?

Six weeks later, I was stunned at how different I felt. Like I said, there's no magic bullet, and the pills didn't resolve a lot of my issues; but it made me realize that things could be different.

Having a schizoid type personality makes you a good candidate for missionary work. You're not encumbered by the desires that often make other people more ego-centric like wanting to get married, having lots of material possessions, or impressing other people. Also having something to get up and go to everyday seems to give you relief from the emptiness that you feel.

Also, going to a psychiatrist isn't just about getting help, it's about getting treatment for a medical condition.

I think your right about my schizoid characteristics. I googled the disorder and I pretty much match some the features of the disorder but I believe that my condition is not bad enough to be detrimental. This thread sure got side tracked LOL.

 

[Mary Mary]

I think your right about my schizoid characteristics. I googled the disorder and I pretty much match some the features of the disorder but I believe that my condition is not bad enough to be detrimental. This thread sure got side tracked LOL.

I'm so sorry. I'm not trying to be difficult. It's just that you asked a really deep question, and I just don't want to give you a glib answer like 'oh, just go do missionary work.' Also, I guess I don't really understand the question, and I'm trying to understand where you're coming from so I can give you meaningful answer...also, I find people very interesting; and I like understanding how people work...and I find you intriguing...

---

Also, I agree. That's why I left the word 'disorder' off when I mentioned schizoid personality because you seem fairly content with your life. It's just that you've got this metaphysical question that you're trying to resolve.

 

[viewpoint123]

I'm a new user and" Do You See Any Point" got my attention. I thought you would find it interesting to know that I aspire to be in your situation. I halfway chuckle that one persons darkness can appear brighter to someone else. You are self sufficient (moving car in snow), have a full time job, a place of your own which is small enough to keep clean and orderly while still providing security and peace and quiet. I do protest getting rid of the cats! They don't require that much attention and it is good practice to think of others needs and require ourselves to do something for someone else, even when we don't feel like it. It's a life exercise. Reading between the lines, you have good friends that care about you enough to be annoyed if you don't call them for help. That is a treasure. So, what's left is the romance department and someone to share your retirement with. I hope the right enough person comes along. I have been so beaten down with several life changing events that it is forcing me into being a different person. I never needed people before, they have always needed me. I didn't keep my friendships up and now I am down to one sibling and a neighbor. Even now I feel guilt because the neighbor is not a person I would normally want to be friends with -alot of drama and poor me stuff. But, as time passes, I am learning to appreciate her more and realize I am a very critical person. I always thought it was okay to be critical as long as I was just as critical about myself. It is not. I've got alot of work to do to build myself up to your level of living, so please take note - thank you for posting - you are an inspiration to me.

 

[RedstoneOf1976]

I'm a new user and" Do You See Any Point" got my attention. I thought you would find it interesting to know that I aspire to be in your situation. I halfway chuckle that one persons darkness can appear brighter to someone else. You are self sufficient (moving car in snow), have a full time job, a place of your own which is small enough to keep clean and orderly while still providing security and peace and quiet. I do protest getting rid of the cats! They don't require that much attention and it is good practice to think of others needs and require ourselves to do something for someone else, even when we don't feel like it. It's a life exercise. Reading between the lines, you have good friends that care about you enough to be annoyed if you don't call them for help. That is a treasure. So, what's left is the romance department and someone to share your retirement with. I hope the right enough person comes along. I have been so beaten down with several life changing events that it is forcing me into being a different person. I never needed people before, they have always needed me. I didn't keep my friendships up and now I am down to one sibling and a neighbor. Even now I feel guilt because the neighbor is not a person I would normally want to be friends with -alot of drama and poor me stuff. But, as time passes, I am learning to appreciate her more and realize I am a very critical person. I always thought it was okay to be critical as long as I was just as critical about myself. It is not. I've got alot of work to do to build myself up to your level of living, so please take note - thank you for posting - you are an inspiration to me.

Welcome to the forum Viewpoint123. I was surprised that somebody would be inspired by my life story. There is something you should know about me though. I basicly decided my life course when I was just 14. Grade school distroyed my self image and worth. I decided then I was not going to find someone and it was better to be alone then to have my heart and soul tossed around like a play toy. The fact that how I saw my high school classmates treat thier bf or gf with such a lack of repect only validated my choice. With that choice came a HARSH life. I would not allow myself to cry on my friends shoulder when I'm down. Nor have someone to suggle up to when the outside temp hits -50. (It does happen where I live). People usally want to live a solitary life after a bad break up or the one they love is taken from them just so they can revaluate thier life and decide what they need. To allow themselves to adjust to the vacancy. I believe that may be what you are looking for. Your profile states that your are a widow and I am truly sorry for your loss. I am inspired by you for allowing someone into your heart. I have never had to loose someone that important to me. I really dont know how I would recover from that loss. I guess you could call me a coward. The fact that I help my friends allows me to take my mind off of my own situation. Those talks with your nieghbor maybe your getaway. I know rual life can be very secluded so don't be afraid to join the morning coffee gossip @ the town restaurant if only to get out of the house. I can only wish you the best in your future exploits and that you find the strength to change your life for the better. You defenitly made me look at my life from another angle. Thank you.