A
Aimeegirl
Guest
Where do I start....I guess first of all by saying hello to everyone out there in cyber land who may be reading this. I hope that you are ok, and your day is bright, full of hope. If you're lonely I want you to know that you are not alone, and I'm sending you a cyber hug right now.
I suffer pretty badly from loneliness...have my whole life. I know lots of people because of the industry I work in, but they don't really know ME. I'm lonely because I haven't yet met someone that truly understands me for who I am, and loves me for it.
My entire being yearns for a soul partner to share my life with and love. I have so much to give...yet it seems that each time I find someone I love, they don't love me back the same way. It's devastating. I've been pretty much single for the last 7 years, and each day I am still alone the issue becomes bigger and bigger. The amount of rejection I have received is insane...lucky I don't have a complex by now. I still push on in hope that one day someone will love me back, someone will see my worth and want to be with me as much as I do them.
I'm 28 years old, and quite attractive. I'm independent, strong, creative, self sufficient and successful. I'm quite a spiritual soul in my own way and like to think my path is aligned with what the Universe desires. I do good in every way I can, and try to live my life to the fullest, spreading light and a smile wherever I go. I have my flaws like everyone, but I do my best to be my best.
I find it hard to believe that I have been put here on this Earth to walk my life alone. Don't get me wrong, I have lots of friends to keep me company. But not that one person who loves me utterly. I seem to have no luck in finding a partner, and it's so painful to me. And when it comes down to it, at the end of the day those friends go home and there you are, all by yourself again.
I work really hard upon myself, have for years. I have been doing everything I can to become a whole person, who needs for nothing outside of myself. I love myself very much & think I am great. I really need for nothing. But my heart yearns to be loved, truly loved. I try and try but I can't fill that space inside. I can't help but crave nurturance and care from another human being. Sometimes I wonder if this is my lesson, that I have to learn to truly not need the love of another. But it is so hard to let go of that which I have never had, and yearn for so deeply. I don't think there's anything wrong or unnatural about feeling the way I do. I just wish I knew how to make this loneliness go away. I don't want to want this thing that hurts me so much with it's absence all the time.
In all of my life no one has ever loved me so much that they would do anything to be with me. No one has truly been in love with me. And I am open to receive, as open as the sky. But he does not come. And the longer I am solo, the more my heart breaks. So I'm not sure what to do...how to fix this. It's always this same issue...and I worry that the absence of he in my life is causing this pain, which in turn keeps him away from me. It's a vicious cycle. I want to know how to break it. I keep trying different things to try and stop myself from wanting it so badly. I keep myself so very busy, I fill my life with wonderful things. But still, he is missing. I see something or experience something amazing in my life, and I savour it. But part of me grieves that I don't have anyone to share that moment with.
I wish I could be content with the idea of spending the rest of my life without a partner, to never have children, a family...but I can't. No matter how hard I try. The idea of going on for much longer without that person there to support and love me is one I cannot fathom. If I do end up 40 and still single, I honestly believe I will choose to end my life. For that will not be the reality I can deal with, or want to be a part of anymore. Life without love is not worth living in my eyes.
I cannot deal with the idea of growing old alone and by myself. I do not want to be one of those people, I will not. And yes, I know I'm still young, there's still time. That's what people tell me all the time. But it's so hard to believe that it will happen when it hasn't happened yet. This first 28 years of my life has been spent very alone...all I've wanted my whole life is to feel safe, and truly loved. Unfortunately a lack of emotional support from my parents has meant I have felt this way since I can remember. And I'm surprised that my time has still not come. I am still single. I am beautiful, young, successful, talented...yet I am all by myself, still.
It breaks my heart, over and over again. Still, I live an amazing life, and I give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. I really do feel blessed. I just hope and pray that soon, I will be spared from this solitude. Finally, maybe, someone might come into my life and see me for my worth and want to spend their life with me. I hope and pray with all of my being that this is the case.
I wonder, if I was shorter & littler & skinnier & cuter, would that change things? I'm quite tall & curvy, but well proportioned. I'm a size 14, I have a larger bone structure. But I'm fit and not overweight at all. People tell me I am very beautiful...but it seems that the men in this world would prefer someone who is not as smart as me & a lot more childlike physically. I'm all woman. I'm not short and a size 8. I'm tall and statuesque and real. See, I don't want to be with someone that is so shallow anyway as to only go out with such women. But it seems that really, that is what men prefer. All of the men in my life that I have loved, that don't want to be with (which makes all of them), they keep me close in their lives as their best friend and sister. Then they go out with a girl who is exactly that...short, skinny, not so smart, simple. And these are talented and intelligent men. What is going on?
Does all of this come down to men having an innate fear of the self-empowered feminine? Is this the reason...that I am still alone? Am I that self-realised that no man can match me? I hope and pray that this is not true, for that would be torture.
As a Universal Prayer, I pray that men and women alike awaken to their innate divinity and potential, and evolve TOGETHER. I know so many amazing women who are single...and they are beautiful and powerful like me. And the men to match them don't seem to exist.........
Does anyone have the answer to all of this? Are women like me destined to live a life alone, to never have families, or partners? Are we to be denied love because of our equality to the male species? Is this a classic example of the Adam, Eve and Lilith story replaying itself on the world stage? Do men only want to be with simple, submissive, small & youthlike women that can be controlled & dominated, like Eve? Does the Adam in all men still reject the power and independence of Lilith, and is she always to be barred from the garden, and a loving embrace?
I hope and pray that soon, there will be a man who is self empowered enough to not be intimidated by me & the light I shine. A man who will love me for my strength and walk by my side with the same strength, as my equal, with no fear-only love. I hope this for all people everwhere.
I suffer pretty badly from loneliness...have my whole life. I know lots of people because of the industry I work in, but they don't really know ME. I'm lonely because I haven't yet met someone that truly understands me for who I am, and loves me for it.
My entire being yearns for a soul partner to share my life with and love. I have so much to give...yet it seems that each time I find someone I love, they don't love me back the same way. It's devastating. I've been pretty much single for the last 7 years, and each day I am still alone the issue becomes bigger and bigger. The amount of rejection I have received is insane...lucky I don't have a complex by now. I still push on in hope that one day someone will love me back, someone will see my worth and want to be with me as much as I do them.
I'm 28 years old, and quite attractive. I'm independent, strong, creative, self sufficient and successful. I'm quite a spiritual soul in my own way and like to think my path is aligned with what the Universe desires. I do good in every way I can, and try to live my life to the fullest, spreading light and a smile wherever I go. I have my flaws like everyone, but I do my best to be my best.
I find it hard to believe that I have been put here on this Earth to walk my life alone. Don't get me wrong, I have lots of friends to keep me company. But not that one person who loves me utterly. I seem to have no luck in finding a partner, and it's so painful to me. And when it comes down to it, at the end of the day those friends go home and there you are, all by yourself again.
I work really hard upon myself, have for years. I have been doing everything I can to become a whole person, who needs for nothing outside of myself. I love myself very much & think I am great. I really need for nothing. But my heart yearns to be loved, truly loved. I try and try but I can't fill that space inside. I can't help but crave nurturance and care from another human being. Sometimes I wonder if this is my lesson, that I have to learn to truly not need the love of another. But it is so hard to let go of that which I have never had, and yearn for so deeply. I don't think there's anything wrong or unnatural about feeling the way I do. I just wish I knew how to make this loneliness go away. I don't want to want this thing that hurts me so much with it's absence all the time.
In all of my life no one has ever loved me so much that they would do anything to be with me. No one has truly been in love with me. And I am open to receive, as open as the sky. But he does not come. And the longer I am solo, the more my heart breaks. So I'm not sure what to do...how to fix this. It's always this same issue...and I worry that the absence of he in my life is causing this pain, which in turn keeps him away from me. It's a vicious cycle. I want to know how to break it. I keep trying different things to try and stop myself from wanting it so badly. I keep myself so very busy, I fill my life with wonderful things. But still, he is missing. I see something or experience something amazing in my life, and I savour it. But part of me grieves that I don't have anyone to share that moment with.
I wish I could be content with the idea of spending the rest of my life without a partner, to never have children, a family...but I can't. No matter how hard I try. The idea of going on for much longer without that person there to support and love me is one I cannot fathom. If I do end up 40 and still single, I honestly believe I will choose to end my life. For that will not be the reality I can deal with, or want to be a part of anymore. Life without love is not worth living in my eyes.
I cannot deal with the idea of growing old alone and by myself. I do not want to be one of those people, I will not. And yes, I know I'm still young, there's still time. That's what people tell me all the time. But it's so hard to believe that it will happen when it hasn't happened yet. This first 28 years of my life has been spent very alone...all I've wanted my whole life is to feel safe, and truly loved. Unfortunately a lack of emotional support from my parents has meant I have felt this way since I can remember. And I'm surprised that my time has still not come. I am still single. I am beautiful, young, successful, talented...yet I am all by myself, still.
It breaks my heart, over and over again. Still, I live an amazing life, and I give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. I really do feel blessed. I just hope and pray that soon, I will be spared from this solitude. Finally, maybe, someone might come into my life and see me for my worth and want to spend their life with me. I hope and pray with all of my being that this is the case.
I wonder, if I was shorter & littler & skinnier & cuter, would that change things? I'm quite tall & curvy, but well proportioned. I'm a size 14, I have a larger bone structure. But I'm fit and not overweight at all. People tell me I am very beautiful...but it seems that the men in this world would prefer someone who is not as smart as me & a lot more childlike physically. I'm all woman. I'm not short and a size 8. I'm tall and statuesque and real. See, I don't want to be with someone that is so shallow anyway as to only go out with such women. But it seems that really, that is what men prefer. All of the men in my life that I have loved, that don't want to be with (which makes all of them), they keep me close in their lives as their best friend and sister. Then they go out with a girl who is exactly that...short, skinny, not so smart, simple. And these are talented and intelligent men. What is going on?
Does all of this come down to men having an innate fear of the self-empowered feminine? Is this the reason...that I am still alone? Am I that self-realised that no man can match me? I hope and pray that this is not true, for that would be torture.
As a Universal Prayer, I pray that men and women alike awaken to their innate divinity and potential, and evolve TOGETHER. I know so many amazing women who are single...and they are beautiful and powerful like me. And the men to match them don't seem to exist.........
Does anyone have the answer to all of this? Are women like me destined to live a life alone, to never have families, or partners? Are we to be denied love because of our equality to the male species? Is this a classic example of the Adam, Eve and Lilith story replaying itself on the world stage? Do men only want to be with simple, submissive, small & youthlike women that can be controlled & dominated, like Eve? Does the Adam in all men still reject the power and independence of Lilith, and is she always to be barred from the garden, and a loving embrace?
I hope and pray that soon, there will be a man who is self empowered enough to not be intimidated by me & the light I shine. A man who will love me for my strength and walk by my side with the same strength, as my equal, with no fear-only love. I hope this for all people everwhere.