doesn't anybody want real life friends?

[Limlim]

Pretty much a nerd living in redneck territory. Friends I have things in common with are nonexistant here.

 

[cassia]

hmmm.. not so sure about that one. i didn't start having friends until college.
College was a happy time when I was contained in an area with a lot of people my age. Since it was a small campus, everyone who lived on campus was right near everyone else.
It was after college that I went back to having no one due to no longer living in a contained area of people my age. Then when I would find someone to be friends with, they would get married and vanish again.

That's interesting. College was when I really started to notice my social anxiety. I'm not sure why though. I guess part of it was the feeling (deluded or not) that people were expected to behave more like 'young adults'. I always felt like a bit of an outsider because I couldn't relate to things like sex, clubbing, alcohol, pot, parties, and so on, which was what "socializing" seemed to be about.

Why would getting married make someone disappear? When I got into a relationship I stopped hanging out with my "friends" (ie the people in college I hung out with, physically, but never felt very close to), but I never stopped talking to my overseas friends with whom I was very close. If anything I talked with them more, since I had so many stories to share.

Do you think being in the same age group is an important factor?

 

[blackdot]

That's interesting. College was when I really started to notice my social anxiety. I'm not sure why though. I guess part of it was the feeling (deluded or not) that people were expected to behave more like 'young adults'. I always felt like a bit of an outsider because I couldn't relate to things like sex, clubbing, alcohol, pot, parties, and so on, which was what "socializing" seemed to be about.

Why would getting married make someone disappear? When I got into a relationship I stopped hanging out with my "friends" (ie the people in college I hung out with, physically, but never felt very close to), but I never stopped talking to my overseas friends with whom I was very close. If anything I talked with them more, since I had so many stories to share.

Do you think being in the same age group is an important factor?

For me, I was picked on up until 11th grade. So that's when I started to feel more comfortable. It wasn't until college though that I felt outgoing because I was not around the people that had picked on me, i was around people my age (I didn't have to leave campus to be around people, they were all forced to be around me), and I found out about the internet. Being addicted to the internet back in the early 90's was wonderful because people were more open and there wasn't any issues of privacy. Plus people would come to me for computer issues and it was easy to make friends with the other computer geeks.
After college, I was isolated again other than for people at work who thought I was weird for having never dated.

Once people I know get married, they stop hanging out with other people. Then they have a kid which makes them completely disappear.
Plus I don't have any interest in being around married people.