L
lonelyloser
Guest
When I was in college, I used to go to parties once in a while (sometimes I was invited, sometimes I wasn't). Because I'm a loser I never really had anyone to talk to, so I'd start drinking as soon as I got there. Then my social inhibitions would ease, I'd feel much looser, and I might start talking to some people. But whenever I came back home, I'd feel so empty, so lonely inside. And just feel worse than I did before. Going to parties just made me more aware of how lonely, invisible, and unattractive I was. These guys in fraternities had such a great life - fun, parties, hot women - they were so lucky and I was so unlucky. On game days, they'd have tailgate parties, and I'd just watch and wish I was one of them. I really wish I had that feeling of brotherhood with other ppl. And the only way I could feel these feelings of insecurity and inferiority was by drinking. I think at some point, I became an addict. I never really got into trouble, but I felt dependence.