Fat Mentors in Eating Disorder Camp

[lights]

I haven't been on here in a while because I'm always busy at school, but this was burning in the back of my brain today. I have gained over 25 pounds in "recovery". I am more miserable than I have ever been in my life. But my cousin snidely commented about me eating a muffin for breakfast for today, instead of the giant mug of straight up black coffee I had when I was ill.

"So you finally decided to stop that dumb s**t?"

As if I chose to have my negative feelings manifest into an eating disorder.

Then I thought back about being in recovery. And how almost all the mentors there were fat. And not fat in the way that an anorexic/bulimic considers everyone fat, but these people were carrying spare tires around their middles. They definitely weren't in shape.

Why is it wrong for me to want to be thin but it's okay for people who aren't in shape to be comfortable with themselves?

If I'm comfortable with myself when my BMI is 17.2 and I'm on my elliptical and jump roping everyday while all these people just sit and gorge upon salad, why am I "unhealthy' when they aren't?

I couldn't stand having unfit people tell me that I was going to get really sick and hurt myself and that all these negative feelings that I put upon my body are a reflection of the anger I have to other people.
I guess that hamburger they're chowing down on is a reflection of the anger they have to cows.

Anyway. I'm sure I could have phrased all of that shorter and better but I'm just writing off the top of my head right now. You all have a splendid day.

 

[Luna]

Hi there Lights,

First off, I am glad that you addressed your anorexia through professional treatment. You should be very proud of yourself - you have accomplished more than you may realize.

What your cousin said was uncalled for and insensitive, but he/ she has not been where you have been. It could be the ignorance talking. If your cousin or anyone continues talking to you so - you go and stand up for yourself.

Then I thought back about being in recovery. And how almost all the mentors there were fat. And not fat in the way that an anorexic/bulimic considers everyone fat, but these people were carrying spare tires around their middles. They definitely weren't in shape.

Why is it wrong for me to want to be thin but it's okay for people who aren't in shape to be comfortable with themselves?

If I'm comfortable with myself when my BMI is 17.2 and I'm on my elliptical and jump roping everyday while all these people just sit and gorge upon salad, why am I "unhealthy' when they aren't?

I understand.
I believe that if you are taking a job position in any field where you are giving advice to others on how to manage your health and fitness (doctors, personal trainers, nutritionists etc.), you should do your part of the job, and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST because others will be looking at you as an example.

There is no wrong in desiring to be thin - as long as you are healthy and it does not preoccupy your mind.

Perhaps your mentors may have seemed hypocritical or unhealthy to you, but more important, is your health.
You keep on working towards a positive outlook on life, good self-esteem and confidence, eating well, exercising well, sleeping well...and nothing can stop you.

 

[PurpleDays]

I hate to be unfeeling Lights, and I understand your pain. It's SO GOOD you've got treatment and you're recovering. Your cousin was out of order saying that, you should enjoy your muffin and he/she should recognise it's a sensative (sp?!) topic.

But, maybe they're just letting out a bit of the pain and stress they've felt while you've been unwell? Obviously they care about you, as they describe what you went through as "honeysuckle". I know it seems so so so so so so SO much more to you on the inside (me too, I'm in recovery too... but that's neither here nor there, this is about you), but clearly what you did to yourself affected them and made them feel sad? Caused stress for the family? Hurt you badly? Surely your cousin hated seeing the illness take over you and become a part of you? I think maybe it was a very blunt way of putting it, but in a roundabout way, I guess they're proud and happy you've overcome your issues.

You still seem very angry though. I know it's hard and frustrating and every case is difficult. But as Luna said, you've got to take care of yourself. And, without wishing to be too blunt, 17.2 -IS- unhealthy. It means you're underweight. Medically. I'm sorry to be harsh, but it's true.

You're more than welcome to be mad at me, as I am basing an ENTIRE post upon just one other post and I don't know you as an individual, but I'm just trying to help.

Well done for seeking medical help. Keep going, one day at a time.

 

[ThinkPositive]

Eating disorders are not good for sure, but I do also see your point.

Why is it wrong for me to want to be thin but it's okay for people who aren't in shape to be comfortable with themselves?

You're right in that healthy body weight goes both ways. Just remember, this is not about other people; this is about you. Also, remember that eating disorders are categorized as psychological illnesses for a reason, and not just as a physical ailment. There is frankly nothing wrong with being thin -- it's when your thinking gets distorted and you start not being good to your body that it becomes unhealthy.

I'm having a hard time expressing myself right now, but what I'm trying to say is...for example, your exercising is great, if you're doing it for your general health, not overexerting yourself for the end goal of keeping an unhealthy body weight.

Hang in there! I struggled with (undiagnosed) anorexia myself as a teen, and I remember how awful it was when I first gained all that weight. But now, many years later, I'd still be considered thin but without being unhealthily so, and I've got good running accomplishments to show for it -- not something you can do without a strong, healthy body!

Good luck!

 

[VanillaCreme]

Kind of strikes me as odd that a fat person would give weight advice to anyone else. But, maybe they understand it better than you think. Things aren't always as they seem. They may have a back story to them that's deeper than you could believe. They might understand the disorder more than any skinnier person ever could.

 

[PurpleDays]

You can have an eating disorder at any size.
It's about your relationship with food, not your waist measurement.

 

[Invisible_Quadrant]

"So you finally decided to stop that dumb s**t?"

As if I chose to have my negative feelings manifest into an eating disorder.

You can't know what something is like unless you've experienced it yourself. For those who don't have an eating disorder it would be strange to think of why anyone would want to deny themselves food - of course it's not about that, but how do they know?
I'm sure she didn't mean any harm. Like most people, as I said before, they just don't get it.

& regarding the overweight camp counselors - Ahah, I totally know what you mean by people being hypocritical. It's almost like people in general force onto other people what they did not do themselves. For example, when someone yells at a family member for not completing a degree at university when they dropped out of one themselves. Or when someone says they love animals yet sits there chewing on chicken wings.
To them (the counselors) they might not see it but if I was at a recovery camp the last thing I would want is to be surrounded by overweight people telling me that I need to get healthy (as if anyone wants to be on the other side of the spectrum either!).

 

[T. classic]

criticizing people giving you advice to be healthy based on their own degree of health is an illogical argument. They are NOT hypocrites. It's something called an ad hominem statement, arguing against what people are rather than the issue at hand. Just because they aren't healthy themselves does not mean they do not know the right methods to achieve health. You should listen to their advice, they got the job for a reason, look past their appearance