Can't take how I've been trapped inside myself so long. The girl i love is in the kitchen now cooking a meal with her bf. I loved her for so much longer than him. But never came out of myself. Now I'm worried I will scream at her or something, I am so jealous of both of them I can't bear it. And she doesn't even know who I am coz I never expressed myself. So depressed its insane. So isolated. Completely isolated. Its unbearable, but I can't even feel how bad coz its just somewhere inside me I can't reach. Feel so bored and anxious at the same time. I'm ******* miserable! I think I need to move to another house but still. I am quite narcisstic, they say there is no cure for it. I can't bear the pain of hearing her laugh happily with him, so light and happy, whereas I feel so heavy and depressed. I though I had felt bad before but this is probably the worst, the worst things are the what ifs? what if I had just come out of myself, not gone into the bad, silent moods around her...I might finally have had a gf and love, but instead I'm 22 and still as alone as I've always been. I've been trying to change since I was 16. I don't think you can change, its all just placebo effect. But man...I can't bear the jealousy, shes had so many bfs and now she has another one.....its horrible...Life is so unfair. Don't know how to get through the next hours...Fucing anxious as hell. Always the ******* anxiety behind my thoughts. This is insane, I'm such a dick, often when I read peoples things like this I don't give a honeysuckle. So perhaps I deserve this life.
Feel like I will explode.
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RoflLoller
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Alex, i have gone through what you have felt and im sure you know as well as i do that NO ONE deserves the kind of life that you and i have. it's something i would not even wish upon my worst enemies.
bianhua
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learn to bless than to curse. though it's very very hard to do, yet unless you forsake your illusion of self-importance, the importance of you will never embark on your shore of self-affliction. every one is important, as long as he(or she) see herself in the right way, for all of us are all the branches of the same tree. except you wither yourself, you'd never be forsaken by any one who really loves you. so nourish yourself with the healthy sap of the healthy tree, then you'll become strong and lovely, and every one would be amazed why they'd never known such a nice guy like you. and girls will flock to you for your fragrance sent out from your kindness.
or express your love to her plainly privately, yet not rashly, and see her response, if she accept you, then enjoy your friendship, if not, you'd tried your best in this relationship, it's not your fault, or the fault of any one, it's only a progress of growth. it makes us more mature for the true relationship in future.
if what i say means nothing to you while you're suffering this incurable illness, then let time take its role in cleansing your mind of this unpleasant event.
here, is a quote, maybe it's not very proper, but maybe it's useful,
The caterpillar cried,"the end is coming!"
Yet the butterfly smiled,"it's just a beginning."
----- Ancient Proverb
or express your love to her plainly privately, yet not rashly, and see her response, if she accept you, then enjoy your friendship, if not, you'd tried your best in this relationship, it's not your fault, or the fault of any one, it's only a progress of growth. it makes us more mature for the true relationship in future.
if what i say means nothing to you while you're suffering this incurable illness, then let time take its role in cleansing your mind of this unpleasant event.
here, is a quote, maybe it's not very proper, but maybe it's useful,
The caterpillar cried,"the end is coming!"
Yet the butterfly smiled,"it's just a beginning."
----- Ancient Proverb
darkwall
Well-known member
Hi Alex,
I have been in the same position you're in - I liked the same girl for seven years and had to cope with numerous changes in her boyfriends etc.
DO NOT run away. If you do and you are still in love with her, the pain will be even worse.
You have to think of these things in terms of *where you are*. You are in a place where it is impossible for her to reach, in understanding or depth of emotion. The intensity of your love would be overbearing to her should you confront her with it, which is why if you do ever confess it to her - most people in our situations do - then phrase it in terms of a "little crush" to test the waters.
The important thing to remember is that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You didn't choose to be assaulted by such a wave of emotion, it simply happened. The thing to remember about unrequited love is that it is a bit masochistic - the other side of thinking that someone is perfect is thinking how imperfect you are - and so people have a tendency to start beating themselves up, as if they "deserve" it, or as if they're not "worth" her.
You are in love with an idealised version of her. You can never have that perfect creation because it does not exist, except in the place you are in right now. Concentrate instead on getting out of that place - nothing good can come of it, and that vision of you and her being in love together is like an opium dream. Focus on normalising your emotion: other people must come into this, like friends you can talk to about it, and love prospects for yourself. Live healthily and normally, and never let anything revolve around your emotions for her - don't base any important decisions on how you feel, and try and live "outside" of it as much as possible.
Rofl's right, it's incredibly hard. It might go tomorrow, or in a year. Remember that you and she are simply normal people, and that something quite extraordinary has happened to one of you that has made the other appear radically different from what they are. So while the former should concentrate on reversing the process, the latter's emotions must be protected as well. Peace, LB.
@Bianhua:
"learn to bless than to curse." - what?
"though it's very very hard to do, yet unless you forsake your illusion of self-importance, the importance of you will never embark on your shore of self-affliction." - sorry?
"every one is important, as long as he(or she) see herself in the right way, for all of us are all the branches of the same tree." - what does that actually mean?
"except you wither yourself, you'd never be forsaken by any one who really loves you. so nourish yourself with the healthy sap of the healthy tree, then you'll become strong and lovely, and every one would be amazed why they'd never known such a nice guy like you. and girls will flock to you for your fragrance sent out from your kindness." - and the extended metaphor award goes to ...
"or express your love to her plainly privately, yet not rashly, and see her response, if she accept you, then enjoy your friendship, if not, you'd tried your best in this relationship, it's not your fault, or the fault of any one, it's only a progress of growth. it makes us more mature for the true relationship in future." - that's the closest you've come to an actual point, and it's a bad one. Not only can you be crushed by rejection, but it might destroy a future relationship.
"if what i say means nothing to you while you're suffering this incurable illness," - Jesus, this isn't advanced cancer ...
"then let time take its role in cleansing your mind of this unpleasant event.
here, is a quote, maybe it's not very proper, but maybe it's useful,
The caterpillar cried,"the end is coming!"
Yet the butterfly smiled,"it's just a beginning."
----- Ancient Proverb"
- Er ... how exactly could that actually be "useful"? I mean, it doesn't fit into any particular context, and in fact it could be appended to, well, almost any advice possible. Is he meant to go, 'Yes! What I have to do is make a chrysalis! ... Metaphorically, of course.' What you have done is just spout loads of meaningless and faux-profound statements that have little to do with anything actually helpful and real and are likely to cause confusion. NEVER use opaque language when talking to someone with a problem, because they could interpret it as anything, and that's incredibly irresponsible. Write poetry in your own time, where it won't hurt others.
I have been in the same position you're in - I liked the same girl for seven years and had to cope with numerous changes in her boyfriends etc.
DO NOT run away. If you do and you are still in love with her, the pain will be even worse.
You have to think of these things in terms of *where you are*. You are in a place where it is impossible for her to reach, in understanding or depth of emotion. The intensity of your love would be overbearing to her should you confront her with it, which is why if you do ever confess it to her - most people in our situations do - then phrase it in terms of a "little crush" to test the waters.
The important thing to remember is that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You didn't choose to be assaulted by such a wave of emotion, it simply happened. The thing to remember about unrequited love is that it is a bit masochistic - the other side of thinking that someone is perfect is thinking how imperfect you are - and so people have a tendency to start beating themselves up, as if they "deserve" it, or as if they're not "worth" her.
You are in love with an idealised version of her. You can never have that perfect creation because it does not exist, except in the place you are in right now. Concentrate instead on getting out of that place - nothing good can come of it, and that vision of you and her being in love together is like an opium dream. Focus on normalising your emotion: other people must come into this, like friends you can talk to about it, and love prospects for yourself. Live healthily and normally, and never let anything revolve around your emotions for her - don't base any important decisions on how you feel, and try and live "outside" of it as much as possible.
Rofl's right, it's incredibly hard. It might go tomorrow, or in a year. Remember that you and she are simply normal people, and that something quite extraordinary has happened to one of you that has made the other appear radically different from what they are. So while the former should concentrate on reversing the process, the latter's emotions must be protected as well. Peace, LB.
@Bianhua:
"learn to bless than to curse." - what?
"though it's very very hard to do, yet unless you forsake your illusion of self-importance, the importance of you will never embark on your shore of self-affliction." - sorry?
"every one is important, as long as he(or she) see herself in the right way, for all of us are all the branches of the same tree." - what does that actually mean?
"except you wither yourself, you'd never be forsaken by any one who really loves you. so nourish yourself with the healthy sap of the healthy tree, then you'll become strong and lovely, and every one would be amazed why they'd never known such a nice guy like you. and girls will flock to you for your fragrance sent out from your kindness." - and the extended metaphor award goes to ...
"or express your love to her plainly privately, yet not rashly, and see her response, if she accept you, then enjoy your friendship, if not, you'd tried your best in this relationship, it's not your fault, or the fault of any one, it's only a progress of growth. it makes us more mature for the true relationship in future." - that's the closest you've come to an actual point, and it's a bad one. Not only can you be crushed by rejection, but it might destroy a future relationship.
"if what i say means nothing to you while you're suffering this incurable illness," - Jesus, this isn't advanced cancer ...
"then let time take its role in cleansing your mind of this unpleasant event.
here, is a quote, maybe it's not very proper, but maybe it's useful,
The caterpillar cried,"the end is coming!"
Yet the butterfly smiled,"it's just a beginning."
----- Ancient Proverb"
- Er ... how exactly could that actually be "useful"? I mean, it doesn't fit into any particular context, and in fact it could be appended to, well, almost any advice possible. Is he meant to go, 'Yes! What I have to do is make a chrysalis! ... Metaphorically, of course.' What you have done is just spout loads of meaningless and faux-profound statements that have little to do with anything actually helpful and real and are likely to cause confusion. NEVER use opaque language when talking to someone with a problem, because they could interpret it as anything, and that's incredibly irresponsible. Write poetry in your own time, where it won't hurt others.
Naval_Fluff
Well-known member
Don't worry about everything too much man..that's about all I can say. As for girl trouble, once you find someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you know she feels the same, all the past troubles about love will kida take a back burner.
Depressedology
Well-known member
i was about to cry when i read what you wrote, coz that's me right now.. ___
