feeling empty lonely and hopeless...

[Callie]

ITA = I totally agree.....

 

[fortasse]

She told me shes still in love with me and that shes trying to get her life back together and it will be soon and she wants more than anything to be with me

She move away from her mom?

 

[Thrasymachus]

... my heart keeps pulling me back to her because shes screaming out for help with her mom issues. She told me shes still in love with me and that shes trying to get her life back together and it will be soon and she wants more than anything to be with me

What she says does not matter, how she acts is what carries weight. She is just saying tender things to manipulate and abuse you. For all you know she cheated more times than you know about with that one guy. You proved you are willing to go into debt, willing to put up with her cheating, willing to be abused by her family, etc. It is in her interest to keep you around, since she has tested you and found you reliable put willing to put up with any discretion and beg for more. But for you it is not.

Maybe on some conscious level she does mean what she said above, but you must not contact her again. The conscious mind is very weak and it is only active about 5% of the time, the unconscious is much more powerful and is in control most of the time. Even you agreed that I had a point(in your conscious, rational mind), but you gave caveats for why you still want her(unconscious mind, which is just in the moment and based on habits and past programming). You must consciously not contact her or you will fall back into her ensnarement.

Just look back and be happy that you never married her. If you did she could have cheated and still wiped you out financially even more. You cannot really change people on any fundamental level unless they are already at a point to be susceptible to that change. You will just continue to be abused unless you are open to the change, and she will continue to be the abuser. If you want to know more about the conscious mind and how it works vs. the unconscious, PM me and I will create a thread about it. It will help you understand to not take logically her present statements about how things will be better in the future and create wishful thinking over this. I am not gonna bother writing any more.