Forever Lost

[Lost Drifter]

Greetings All

Not sure what to write so I’ll attempt to keep this brief.

I’m a 32 years old male from Wales, United Kingdom who has never quite been able to get the hang of keeping friends. Due to a sheltered childhood I have been a loner from an early age and I guess never developed those all-essential social skills we’re supposed to have. I travelled a lot in my twenties, have lived and worked on all seven continents at some point, and as much as I liked it I think deep down it was a method to run away from feelings of loneliness and uselessness back home.

I don’t have much of a family, when I came back my role had been 'replaced' so don’t feel like I’m needed and friends are non-existent other than occasional acquaintances at my work. I have always been treated like an outsider, like an observer but never a participant and as much as I tried to convince myself that it is what I wanted, it really isn’t and the cracks are starting to show.

I’m absolutely dreading yet another Christmas spent home alone. I volunteer at a local children’s hospital but I can never get used to coming home to a dark and silent house. Really wish I could discover my purpose in life and to stop feeling so lost.

 

[Naleena]

You sound like such a nice person. Welcome.

 

[Bluey]

Hi mate. Welcome here.
How did you find out about the voluntary work?
Doing some kind of voluntary work or any work is something I would like to do.
I thought about glass collecting at christmas just for something to do and so I was not in at them times when it relay bights.

 

[annik]

Hello and welcome. I second what Naleena said you do sound like a nice person and after reading this intro your username makes so much sense. Its funny really because I always thought if I'd travelled and lived a more full life I might not feel so crappy and lonely now. Yet here you are in the same place as me. I'm not sure why that sounds insulting, its not meant to be. I guess I know what my point is...

 

[thalassa]

Hello Lost Drifter.

I'm sorry you feel so lost and lonely in life and I hope it will change for you in time. I feel the exact same way as you do, it's a pity people like us can't have Christmas get-togethers. It would probably be the one place I wouldn't feel so out of place.

I hope you get some of what you need here

 

[Seventh]

I feel your pain, brother. Unfortunately because of my type of disability, I`m afraid ive never been much into traveling, so I cant relate to that. It sounds interesting, though. However, I do know what it feels like to have no friends, and to become consumed of my own routines, to the point where feeling alone is no longer a consent reminder of the type emptiness that consumes my soul, but, rather, to think of it as a semi forceful habit. Like its just as another day in the week (not to mention that my family couldn't care less, even if I died).

You know... I know that nothing I will say will comfort you or make you feel better right now. I know what its like to come to an empty home, and I think that we are all nothing but humble judges, which happen to get locked up in our own prison cell. However... when it comes to purpose in life, the only thing I can bring myself to say is that I think that you should do whatever makes you feel good. You know, you strike me as a very nice and relatively considering kinda guy. Perhaps you should try an approach which is a tad more.. shall we say, selfish? don't get me wrong, I dunno much about the meaning of life or my place in the universe, but I do know that as long as your alive, its never too late to find a meaning it in. I know that for myself, finding a life mate, getting married, would be enough to shut me up from complaining, for a few years. To each his own, of course.

 

[Lost Drifter]

Thank you for all the warm welcomes everyone, I really appreciate your kindness and words of encouragement, I’m looking forward to being a part of this community, getting to know the people of this forum and perhaps not feel so lonely in time to come.

Bluey, about the volunteering work, I think most town/city councils have some sort of volunteering program on their records or failing that you could try the citizens’ advice bureau. Another method (and this is what I tend to use) is to just call up hospitals or homeless shelters to offer help since they are always looking for extra hands, even more so at this time of year. You may be asked to help serve food or clean up (which is simple enough) but for the most part people just want someone to talk to. Last year I read books and played games with the kids, I don’t take sweets/candy since due to some of them being unable to eat it (I would hate to have someone left out) but some comic books, board games or even something as simple as pack of balloons always raise a smile on their faces.

And bring a pack of tissues. Seeing some of the children left alone by their families is absolutely heart-breaking, one little child called me "daddy" and the tears were falling in seconds. Walking away from them afterwards is hard.

 

[Jilted John]

Hi Drifter,and welcome.I live in North Wales,so you're not the only lonely Welshman here!

 

[Nice Nin]

Greetings All

Not sure what to write so I’ll attempt to keep this brief.

I’m a 32 years old male from Wales, United Kingdom who has never quite been able to get the hang of keeping friends. Due to a sheltered childhood I have been a loner from an early age and I guess never developed those all-essential social skills we’re supposed to have. I travelled a lot in my twenties, have lived and worked on all seven continents at some point, and as much as I liked it I think deep down it was a method to run away from feelings of loneliness and uselessness back home.

I don’t have much of a family, when I came back my role had been 'replaced' so don’t feel like I’m needed and friends are non-existent other than occasional acquaintances at my work. I have always been treated like an outsider, like an observer but never a participant and as much as I tried to convince myself that it is what I wanted, it really isn’t and the cracks are starting to show.

I’m absolutely dreading yet another Christmas spent home alone. I volunteer at a local children’s hospital but I can never get used to coming home to a dark and silent house. Really wish I could discover my purpose in life and to stop feeling so lost.

Lost Drifter,

Thank you so much for your post. I'm a 38 year old female from Ireland who lives in London a lot of the time now. I just joined this forum today.

Your post struck a chord with me and you are not alone in this, it's just that we are hidden away. It's late and I'm very tired but I will post more tomorrow.

Much love.

NN

 

[RockGirl]

Hi Lone Drifter,
I'm new to the forum as well. When I read posts like yours it makes my heart ache. It seems like there are so many of us that are good people and kind. So, why is it so many of us are feeling so lost & alone? It doesn't make sense, really.
Facebook is full of fake plastic people who are just trying to collect friends.
Here it seems like everyone is real and geniune!
Welcome!