friend from abroad come back.

[miadora]

Imagine you have a friend, an acquaintance, you two have been good friends, but not close friends. They went abroad, and you lost contact. Not that there weren't anyway to communicate, there were facebook, skype..., but both of you just didn't have anything to say.
Then they came back and asked you to meet, at their house, what would you think?

From my post, you might figure out already that I just don't want to go. I probably won't.

Yet I want to know if it's me or them that is the problem. I'm trying to be optimized but it just doesn't seem right. It takes around an hour to go to their house and moving has always been a problem to me since I don't drive.

I would like to know how would you think if you were in my place (just your feelings, not what you would do)

 

[Tiina63]

I would probably think that they are feeling lonely since coming back, so are wanting to connect with people they knew before leaving in the attempt to build up a life for themselves. I don't think it is a question of either you are them being the problem, it is just that you didn't really connect and so drifted out of touch. It might be possible to build a connection now with the person as you will both be older and have had more life experiences.

 

[BreakingtheGirl]

I agree with Tiina63.
I had this situation happen a few times with old high school friends I lost touch with after graduation. I made excuses to not meet up (I had to work long hours excuse). I didn't have anything going for me both times this happened. I was going through breakups, in between jobs, no friends. I had nothing to show for myself years (5-8 yrs) after high school & felt really pathetic and depressed. One girl graduated from a London University & travelled all over Europe. The other got married & had her 1st baby. I had nothing to share about myself & that's why I made excuses to get out of connecting again.

Do you feel this way or maybe just the anxiety of reconnecting again?

 

[miadora]

It's more like "hey I haven't talked to you for years, and I'm bored at the moment, so come to my house maybe? ", and I'm like "wth?"

I mean if it's convenient, sure I wouldn't mind hanging out. But moving an hour to see someone I hardly know anymore?

Hmm

 

[BreakingtheGirl]

Oh that hour drive does suck. Could he/she come to you? Both of you can meet in the middle at a restaurant or cafe?
Yeah, I'd feel iffy having to drive an hour both ways too :/

 

[LonesomeLoner]

I'd ask to meet at a more neutral place. Have a catch up without feeling stuck there if things don't go great.

 

[miadora]

Yeah, that's what holding me back. first they said they were going to go back soon and asked if I wanted to meet (through Facebook chat). So I said sure, how about at this Abc mall?

They didn't answer and a few days later, out of the blue they "commanded" me "hey, come to my house on Jan 3rd, in the morning ".

I was thinking I was being too childish, selfish...getting annoyed by simple things. But it seems I wasn't.

 

[Sometimes]

No, I don't think you're being childish. I'm with LonesomeLoner. The first this I thought was meet at a cafe or something, and just see what happens. If I was in this situation, I would guard against a situation where I'm expected to be a validating, approving audience for someone's ego. Maybe I'm being unfair, but the neutral situation of a cafe seems better suited to checking out if you still have a viable friendship.

 

[Paraiyar]

How do you feel about your social life in general? If you're relatively satisfied then maybe it isn't worth the drive but if you aren't then maybe it would be a good thing for you to give this a shot.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I would feel that it's a bit odd that they want to reconnect after such distance and time apart. It would make me feel curious as to why they have invited me. I would feel apprehensive about going and would probably talk myself out of making it. But if some part of me that gets really curious and goes heck-what's-there-to-lose-anyway then I might stop myself from overthinking things and just go.