Something major just changed in my life, and I'm not sure how to deal with it.
I don't really know how to start, because it's a long story.
I was best friends with a girl named Emily from 8th grade all the way up until our senior year in high school; that's 5 years. (I'm now a freshman in college.) I thought we were still friends until I was told otherwise today.
Emily's not the type of person that talks freely about her feelings. So I always understood when I found out things about her through other people; I thought she just didn't like talking about her life. What I found out is that it was just me she didn't like talking to. At the beginning of 10th grade, she stopped talking to me as much as she used to. I thought it was just because she had a new best friend, but she was using her new relationship as an excuse not to talk to me anymore. Anyway, this went on until the middle of our junior year, 1.5 years. Keep in mind, when we did spend time together she acted normal and like she cared about me, but apparently she was faking. Finally, she decided that her new best friend was no longer important to her, and at this point in time she realized she liked spending time with me again (for the first time in 1.5 years). Then, at the beginning of our senior year, she told a mutual "friend" (let's call her Margie) that she didn't like Margie, me, or our other friend Brenda at all. She didn't even like spending time with us. The only reason she tolerated it is out of necessity (she didn't have many other "friends"). However, she didn't want me to know any of this.
Anyway, all this time that Emily hated me, I thought everything was hunky-dory and I told her all my secrets and talked to her almost every day. I still can't fathom why she wouldn't just tell me how she felt if she truly didn't like spending time with me. But now I guess I understand why I haven't talked to her since I left for college.
I found all this out today from someone she confided this information to. A mutual friend, if you will (not Margie). But I really don't know how to react. I don't want to call her up and tell her I never want to speak to her again, because I feel like that's redundant. Brenda suggested I text and call her incessantly to get back at her, but I don't know if that's the best option. Not only do I not know how to deal with her, but I don't know how to sort these feelings out within myself. Since we haven't spoken in 4 months, I kind of already knew something was up, so I wasn't surprised to hear she, for whatever reason, dislikes me now. But I was shocked to hear that she basically only liked me for 6 months in the last 3 years of our friendship. That hurts the most, since she was the only person besides Brenda who I told everything to. My self-confidence has taken a huge blow, as I have less faith in my ability to judge the character of others, especially those people that are my friends.
Also, I have reminders of her all around me (pictures of the two of us, things she has given me, etc). It hurts to look at them right now, and I'm wondering if I should just throw them out.
I guess I'm just looking for a little advice, or maybe some reassurance. I don't really know. Anything you can muster will be helpful.
-D
I don't really know how to start, because it's a long story.
I was best friends with a girl named Emily from 8th grade all the way up until our senior year in high school; that's 5 years. (I'm now a freshman in college.) I thought we were still friends until I was told otherwise today.
Emily's not the type of person that talks freely about her feelings. So I always understood when I found out things about her through other people; I thought she just didn't like talking about her life. What I found out is that it was just me she didn't like talking to. At the beginning of 10th grade, she stopped talking to me as much as she used to. I thought it was just because she had a new best friend, but she was using her new relationship as an excuse not to talk to me anymore. Anyway, this went on until the middle of our junior year, 1.5 years. Keep in mind, when we did spend time together she acted normal and like she cared about me, but apparently she was faking. Finally, she decided that her new best friend was no longer important to her, and at this point in time she realized she liked spending time with me again (for the first time in 1.5 years). Then, at the beginning of our senior year, she told a mutual "friend" (let's call her Margie) that she didn't like Margie, me, or our other friend Brenda at all. She didn't even like spending time with us. The only reason she tolerated it is out of necessity (she didn't have many other "friends"). However, she didn't want me to know any of this.
Anyway, all this time that Emily hated me, I thought everything was hunky-dory and I told her all my secrets and talked to her almost every day. I still can't fathom why she wouldn't just tell me how she felt if she truly didn't like spending time with me. But now I guess I understand why I haven't talked to her since I left for college.
I found all this out today from someone she confided this information to. A mutual friend, if you will (not Margie). But I really don't know how to react. I don't want to call her up and tell her I never want to speak to her again, because I feel like that's redundant. Brenda suggested I text and call her incessantly to get back at her, but I don't know if that's the best option. Not only do I not know how to deal with her, but I don't know how to sort these feelings out within myself. Since we haven't spoken in 4 months, I kind of already knew something was up, so I wasn't surprised to hear she, for whatever reason, dislikes me now. But I was shocked to hear that she basically only liked me for 6 months in the last 3 years of our friendship. That hurts the most, since she was the only person besides Brenda who I told everything to. My self-confidence has taken a huge blow, as I have less faith in my ability to judge the character of others, especially those people that are my friends.
Also, I have reminders of her all around me (pictures of the two of us, things she has given me, etc). It hurts to look at them right now, and I'm wondering if I should just throw them out.
I guess I'm just looking for a little advice, or maybe some reassurance. I don't really know. Anything you can muster will be helpful.
-D