Friends before dating?

[IgnoredOne]

And lo, we have returned full circle to the self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

[fuzzybutt]

I think you need to reconsider what it is you want from friends or who you consider friends.

Think about how you spend time with your male friends. Now why would doing the same thing with a female be less enjoyable or pointless?

Either you're being sexist or you're a really shitty friend.

 

[Drew88]

I think you need to reconsider what it is you want from friends or who you consider friends.

Think about how you spend time with your male friends. Now why would doing the same thing with a female be less enjoyable or pointless?

Either you're being sexist or you're a really shitty friend.

I never said that. in fact quite the opposite. though thanks for the confidence boost :/

 

[ardour]

Sounds like you're your own worst enemy.

 

[Malfoy]

Change is a lot easier said or done with enforcement.

But change is not impossible; if the will is there, its not even that hard usually to setup a structure so that you will be able to reinforce your own gains.

M'eh, that involves progress and progress hates me

Pretty sure IgnoredOne's head hit the table when he read this.

 

[Light My Fire]

In my opinion, any type of relationship is a friendship.

 

[Malfoy]

Do you consider work relationships to be friendships? How about acquaintances like neighbors or the mail guy? I think "friendships" are "friendships". I also believe that romantic relationships have more to do with DNA propogation and a latent "rut" mentality than anything else.

 

[Drew88]

Sounds like you're your own worst enemy.

I long accepted the fact that I am unlovable

 

[fuzzybutt]

I think you need to reconsider what it is you want from friends or who you consider friends.

Think about how you spend time with your male friends. Now why would doing the same thing with a female be less enjoyable or pointless?

Either you're being sexist or you're a really shitty friend.

I never said that. in fact quite the opposite. though thanks for the confidence boost :/

I read the opening post
"but I do not want to build relationships only to find out that there is no dating chance. If I do, I lose interest in trying to hold that friend. If it doesn't work, I move on. For me it is hard to build multiple single female relationships because, I do not care about building Friendships. I want to focus on a relationship, thats all."

It sounds a bit sexist. Basically you want to be more than friends with every single girl you meet. Maybe you changed your mind somewhere in the thread :/

 

[Drew88]

I think you need to reconsider what it is you want from friends or who you consider friends.

Think about how you spend time with your male friends. Now why would doing the same thing with a female be less enjoyable or pointless?

Either you're being sexist or you're a really shitty friend.

I never said that. in fact quite the opposite. though thanks for the confidence boost :/

I read the opening post
"but I do not want to build relationships only to find out that there is no dating chance. If I do, I lose interest in trying to hold that friend. If it doesn't work, I move on. For me it is hard to build multiple single female relationships because, I do not care about building Friendships. I want to focus on a relationship, thats all."

It sounds a bit sexist. Basically you want to be more than friends with every single girl you meet. Maybe you changed your mind somewhere in the thread :/

Maybe its more of a opinion drawn on my actions, not an approach. I am friends with a couple women who I can not/or want to date and I couple who I want to be friends with. I just rather have one relationship than multiple friendships, buts that me

 

[shesafrozenfire]

I also believe that romantic relationships have more to do with DNA propogation and a latent "rut" mentality than anything else.

That IS romantic. lol

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I also believe that romantic relationships have more to do with DNA propogation and a latent "rut" mentality than anything else.

I personally think romance is whatever you make of it.

People are animals, but we're also in the (presumably) unique position of being civilised sentient beings. How much our primal urges dominate our decision making and mindset is ultimately up to us.

I may be subject to the same biological urges as everyone else, but since I believe in romance as an ideal to some extent, I'm happy to restrain those until I meet someone who conforms suitably to what I believe a good relationship is all about.

To deny we have that choice to seek our own motivation for our actions and instead look at us all as hedonistic DNA-driven mating machines does the human spirit a disservice, I think.

(Anyway, that's my obscure tangential thought for today dealt with... )

 

[Malfoy]

I also believe that romantic relationships have more to do with DNA propogation and a latent "rut" mentality than anything else.

I personally think romance is whatever you make of it.

People are animals, but we're also in the (presumably) unique position of being civilised sentient beings. How much our primal urges dominate our decision making and mindset is ultimately up to us.

I may be subject to the same biological urges as everyone else, but since I believe in romance as an ideal to some extent, I'm happy to restrain those until I meet someone who conforms suitably to what I believe a good relationship is all about.

To deny we have that choice to seek our own motivation for our actions and instead look at us all as hedonistic DNA-driven mating machines does the human spirit a disservice, I think.

(Anyway, that's my obscure tangential thought for today dealt with... )

I don't fault you for your outlook. In fact, I used to share the same outlook. As time goes by I attribute less and less of what people do to malice and, instead, attribute these things to natural faults in our hard wiring. Don't worry though. I won't get out my soapbox and tell the world not to believe in love and romance. That would be an exercise in futility.

 

[fuzzybutt]

I think you need to reconsider what it is you want from friends or who you consider friends.

Think about how you spend time with your male friends. Now why would doing the same thing with a female be less enjoyable or pointless?

Either you're being sexist or you're a really shitty friend.

I never said that. in fact quite the opposite. though thanks for the confidence boost :/

I read the opening post
"but I do not want to build relationships only to find out that there is no dating chance. If I do, I lose interest in trying to hold that friend. If it doesn't work, I move on. For me it is hard to build multiple single female relationships because, I do not care about building Friendships. I want to focus on a relationship, thats all."

It sounds a bit sexist. Basically you want to be more than friends with every single girl you meet. Maybe you changed your mind somewhere in the thread :/

Maybe its more of a opinion drawn on my actions, not an approach. I am friends with a couple women who I can not/or want to date and I couple who I want to be friends with. I just rather have one relationship than multiple friendships, buts that me

You can have both though. I find that if you get into a relationship and ignore your friendships, if that relationship goes bad, you may not have any friendships to fall back on to.

 

[jetsuo]

I like the concept of friends before dating. I have never really gotten to know someone for a while before dating them. I guess i felt i had to make my move otherwise they will get away.

 

[HumanZ]

Never ignore or turn your back to your friends due to a relationship. I used to have lots of friends, I was social, I spent all my free time with my friends and then I started dating. I ignored all my friends, didn't call them or answer their calls. Finally, they didn't want to hang out with me anymore. It didn't bother me because I just wanted to be with my girlfriend always and forever.

Until now, I don't have a girlfriend nor friends anymore. I was an idiot. Don't make the same mistake I did.