frustrated and so much more.

[LowBranch]

Sorry if I’m posting this in the wrong section, I didn’t know which to put it in as I’m depressed, lonely, have low self-esteem and the issues I’m facing could fall into social problems too..  I find myself on the cusp of turning 30 and just feel so worthless. Everyone I know and everywhere I look, say that 30’s are great as you’ve already learnt from your youth, had fun in your 20s and now know where you’re going, who you are and what you want but I don’t.

I was incredibly depressed, lonely and suicidal in my teens and early 20s and as such so many opportunities went by without me seeing them. My late 20s saw me moving town, and struggling to find work. I now have a steady job, but feel that I’ve achieved nothing. I know I should consider moving an achievement but I don’t if that was just me running away from my problems. I don’t know how to drive and am now scared to learn. The job I have is only because that’s what I’ve done before.. I don’t want to be stuck in this the rest of my life, but I can’t afford to take time out to work out exactly what it is I do want. I have no friends, no social life or social skills. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that I'm still a virgin, which at 30 I find sad. 

I want to go out and have fun, but have no one to go with, no real means of getting around and the neighborhood I live is in rather dangerous so I can’t even walk around the block. So I spend my free time and weekends cooked up inside reading books or playing video games, I don’t want to but if I can just immerse myself in another world for a few hours it’s a break from the real world.

I just don’t want another 10, 20, 30 years of this.

 

 

 

 

 

[Tealeaf]

I don't think massive amounts of time need to be devoted to finding something that you want to do. Maybe if you're trying to pin down your life calling beyond a shadow of a doubt, but a lot of the personal insight that people tend to gain in their 20's comes from chance exposure and just feeling it out. You have a chance to find something every single weekend you experiment and experience to reflect on down the road, though it is unlikely that the first one would change everything.

Even joining a critique circle for writers gave me something to think about. You don't need to travel across Europe for a year or anything.

 

[M_also_lonely]

What kind of job do you have? What work do you do?