Getting more difficult again.

[Nice But Dim Jim]

I thought I was getting over the big lump of depression i've been in for the past few months after breaking up with the girlfriend. Looks like its rearing its ugly head again and I feel it creeping back into my life.

I'm so incredibly sad as I thought I was moving on but I'm almost back to square one. All I want to do is make contact with my ex even though I know its pointless, I want to see how she's doing but I am literally scared to check her up on facebook as if I found she was with someone else over even just seen a pic of her with another guy it would throw me over the edge, I literally don't think I could control my actions.

I can't do anything more, I am literally just wasting time being alive, i'm not interested in anything or anyone, I don't care about my job, my future or family nothing. I just feel like I go to work so I can afford to keep going to work in a seriously tormenting cycle.

I can't spent another year like this as it is killing me, my soul just feels shattered.

 

[MellyVinelli]

Hey man. I'm right here. Take a couple deep breaths and go for a walk. I'm gonna Pm you.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I know how you feel, kind of in the same boat except not from a relationship. Just gotta keep on keeping on I guess.

 

[Masque]

Sometimes we have slumps, but there's a difference between a slump and failure. Upward journeys are typically the hard ones.

 

[ardour]

You could remove that temptation by deleting her from the friend list. If she hasn't contacted you by now she probably doesn't want to remain friends.

I've heard that it takes at least 6 months to get over a break up. Reconnect with friends and get plenty of exercise.

 

[ladyforsaken]

sorry you are feeling this way. Always sucks. But keep trying to improve your situation.

 

[PrinceOfPeace]

I know exactly how you feel, last year my gf ended our relationship cos she thort I had cheated on her, she was away visiting her parents & that same weekend a friend asked if I could stay over, she had moved to a new area & she didn't feel safe alone while her room mate was away, I tryed to call & ask my gf if it was okay but her parents live overseas & in an area with bad cell phone coverage, so I sent messages that I had decided to stay ( Guys Im well aware of how this looks believe me ) when my gf got the messages she replyed its okay I trust u just dnt trust her, eventualy she couldnt keep jealous thorts from making her unhappy cos the girl in question is like a sister to me, nothing I could say or do could put my gf's mind at ease, she eventualy walked out on me moved back to her parents and Ive had very little contact from her since, she hasnt even said were over or she dsnt love me or want anything to do with me , I cant even go visit cos her parents never liked me & her father threatened to shoot me & bury me in the hills (hes an ex soldier & never thort i was good enough,even tryed to set my gf up with his friends son who's a doctor while we were together), Ive had no closure at all, Ive just had to accept she left & try my best to keep on keeping on, Im afraid to search FB incase she reactivated her old account & I see pics of her with sum1 else, I used to call her like a mad man but her parents hang up the phone & she would never reply to my emails or messages, the littlest things can set me off & break me cos they remind me of her & what hurts the most is I was a great bf, never cheated never hurt her, never took her for granted, I wanted to marry & start a family, its been so hard but I thank God for blessing me & Ive survived by changing my attitude & keeping myself busy helping & loving the people I still have, seeing their smiles helped me to smile & having a good friend to walk with me through the darkness kept me from falling, hang in there keep your head up, things will get easier with time, Im always here if u need to talk.

 

[jetsuo]

Hey man listen, you are doing great so far. It does get easier i promise but dont contact your ex dude. chat to us instead.

What you are going through many people have gone through including me, but you know you will come out a stronger person in the end even if you dont believe it, you will.

So now you gotta focus on friends and hobbies. Keep active, keep busy.
eventually you will find someone new and better, but that aint gonna happen until yo get your head into gear.

Dont give up dude. Nothing worth doing in life is easy.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hey man listen, you are doing great so far. It does get easier i promise but dont contact your ex dude. chat to us instead.

What you are going through many people have gone through including me, but you know you will come out a stronger person in the end even if you dont believe it, you will.

So now you gotta focus on friends and hobbies. Keep active, keep busy.
eventually you will find someone new and better, but that aint gonna happen until yo get your head into gear.

Dont give up dude. Nothing worth doing in life is easy.

This is what I would say so myself.

 

[Nice But Dim Jim]

Cheers guys and gals for all the nice words as per usual, I was starting to feel a bit better then I screwed up again today. I'd rather not say how but its now left me feeling pretty low even though I knew what i've just done would.

It's like i'm purposely trying to hurt myself now (not physically but mentally). I've even came to the point that I don't want to see my two best friends because i'm always so completely negative. I'm ok in work, I can soldier on in work and not think about things but the evenings and weekends are real killers.

One more thing, why if I enjoyed being in a relationship and in love so much do I not want to do it again? I'm reluctant to even consider having feelings for someone else, the thought disgusts me!

 

[Peaches]

I am so sorry, it is like toothache, please trust that it will pass, give it time, there is not much else to do, keep the mind and body occupied and one day you will wake up and that person won't mean anything to you anymore.
The key I think is to think as less as possible, and if you need to wallow in self pity (who doesn't? I know I do, a lot) or mourn this person, do it for specific times during the day (say, from 17 to 19) and force yourself to keep busy for the rest of the time. When I went through a situation like yours I would talk non stop about that person, you don't mention that, but I assume this is what you mean when you say you are negative with your friends? Anyway, it took me years to understand the wisdom of not talking about someone to forget them faster, or contain the talking to one or two persons. Maybe a diary where you write your view of what happened can help? I hope you feel better soon, feel free to pm me

 

[Cavey]

Maybe a diary where you write your view of what happened can help?

That's excellent advice. I wrote a diary each day after I split with my wife. I wrote about what was said, how I felt about it all and why I thought it had all gone wrong. Just the act of writing helped me to slow down my heart rate and concentrate during my most panicky/painful times, and it ultimately helped me to think clearly again and set me along the road to recovery.