Getting old

[Equinox]

One of the nastiest catch 22's on the planet that is. They vilify all men in general for viewing them as sex objects, and yet they're always going home with the men who fit the very stereotype they're supposedly so disgusted by.

I can't really argue with this, which is why I have difficulties identifying myself as a woman.

 

[jdoe22]

Sorry friend, but this whole post contradicts your first post. If you REALLY believe everything you said in the quoted post. Then you should have never made the original post. First off you said you don't need advice on how to make yourself more attractive to females. Yet in your first post you say you have not had any success with women for the past 9 years. Contradiction, if this information was not applicable to you, then you would not have trouble meeting and wooing women. You would inherently know what to do. You would not have 9 years of failure under your belt. You would not have made this thread if you did not feel you were doing something wrong. You would not have made this thread if you did not think that any of this was applicable to you.

Humans are more than capable of rationalizing things. That is what this girl has done to you. She may have reacted to certian queues or triggers in her mind. However, she has sat back and reevaluated the situation. That is why she suddenly flaked out. However, humans are just as bound to instinct as any other animal. You are bound to instinct as well. The instinct to reproduce. Humans can jazz up the desire to procreate however we want. Love, Companionship, Safety whatever. In the end that is just our guilt from wanting to engage in the reproductive activity. Let me ask you this. If you some how managed to get this girl. Would you be ok with her having a sexual relationship with other men. Even better would you prefer she not have any sexual contact with you?

I need to know, do you flirt with any girl who looks interested in you? Whether she be the next top model or so fat that she can barely walk? It is all the same to you as long as she is a good person?

If you are constantly worrying about whether or not a girl will leave you. Then that shows a lack of security on your end. People who worry about that kind of rely on relationships to make them happy. They are not happy as inidividuals. Yet I met plenty of men and women who are happy on their own. To them the relationship is part of their life, not their life. Those kinds of people don't run into your situation very often. Even when they do, they don't care.

Let me point out another contradiction here as well. You say that you don't want to change to get someone. Again why bother with this thread. If what you are doing is fine then why care that she is being a flake? She has clearly dumped you, so give up and wait till the next one comes along. She is not responding to your method of wooing. Therefore she is not interested. There is no reason to further pursue her.

I really think should try something different. What are you scared of, the fact that you might like it? Humans adapt and evolve. We grow, we learn new skills and become stronger. 9 years without any success with women. Sorry friend you are not going to prove to me that your way is the right way. That is like saying that starting fire by rubbing sticks together is the best way to start a fire. It can start a fire, but a match will start one faster. True it might take more than one. However, I will start more fires over my lifetime than you will.

I appreciate the feedback. I understand why you might think I'm contradicting myself, and I will admit I'm running in circles trying to converge on a solution here.

Your message I interpret as, I need to master the art of manipulating women in order to get past the initial barriers and then after that all will be well. I think that is an option, but need be exercised with great care.

This weekend I went out... I was propositioned by several girls without asking or approaching them. Each one however was specifically looking for a one night stand, and one even went as far to tell me she had "anal beads" and "ropes to tie her up" in her bedroom waiting. I think most guys here might have been all over that... I was not impressed. By the way, this particular person was college educated.

So does this mean I'm a failure because I didn't take her home? Again, if my "approach" turned this girl off, then good, because I want nothing to do with her. The more I think about it, the more I believe that there has to be people who aren't like this... and yeah I might have failed the past 9 years but not many I know in those 9 years have sustained long term meaningful relationships, even those who were married.

I guess I'll just go back to waiting... unless you can tell me where I can find people who are aligned the same way I am. So far, I haven't found any venues.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Are you subconsiously wanting to be a monk?

9 years and at your age...the last relationship you had was bascailly in your teens.
How long did that lasted? A month...2 months?
I know when your best friend bang your GF it can do a number on you.

No..you dont have to go with any or every women that comes on to you.
Yes, I've done threesome many times with different sets of women...so what.

Bascailly you just gatta keep putting yourself out there.
mmmm...I had to bend here and there...so that i wouldnt break.

You know a nuratic person is someone that dosnt change...NO?
Google it...

It's kind of like you have those syndorms that some women have.
Waiting for Mrs Right or the Princess to come take all your troubles away.

Yeah, man. I want a princess too. What guy wouldnt want that?
I have this fucken perfect idea of whatever the fresia a perfect life should be, ought to be..
but my life hasnt been so fucken perfect and far from it.

That's becuase I'm not perfect to whatever the fresia idea and standard I made up for myself either.
It's like a self defeating I get myself into. Self imposed limitations and rules.
A fucken prison I created for myself....

Thats what a perfectionist dose...they wont do honeysuckle unless they think It'll fit into thier
idea of what perfection is...but they dont do anything...that's the irony of it.

A realtionship is kind of like growing a plant...DUDE.
Your looking to start a race from the finish line.

So if i have all these fucken flaws...how in the fresia am I going to
get a perfect woman? What is it that you have to offer that perfect woman even if you do meet her?

What if she likes to get her ass slapp and hair pulled everyonce
in a while? Is that going to be too freaky for you?

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I appreciate the feedback. I understand why you might think I'm contradicting myself, and I will admit I'm running in circles trying to converge on a solution here.

Your message I interpret as, I need to master the art of manipulating women in order to get past the initial barriers and then after that all will be well. I think that is an option, but need be exercised with great care.

This weekend I went out... I was propositioned by several girls without asking or approaching them. Each one however was specifically looking for a one night stand, and one even went as far to tell me she had "anal beads" and "ropes to tie her up" in her bedroom waiting. I think most guys here might have been all over that... I was not impressed. By the way, this particular person was college educated.

So does this mean I'm a failure because I didn't take her home? Again, if my "approach" turned this girl off, then good, because I want nothing to do with her. The more I think about it, the more I believe that there has to be people who aren't like this... and yeah I might have failed the past 9 years but not many I know in those 9 years have sustained long term meaningful relationships, even those who were married.

I guess I'll just go back to waiting... unless you can tell me where I can find people who are aligned the same way I am. So far, I haven't found any venues.

>_>.....  Where is this place where women approach men for sex?  I have never been to such a place....

Well lets be fair friend, you are asking for manipulation.  This thread is a thread asking how you can get this girl to want you.  In the end it is all about perspective.  For example, I have a hammer.  What do I see a tool to drive nails into wood.  Yet another person sees a weapon that can injure or kill them.  I see a tool to help me increase my success with women.  You see a tool for manipulating them.  So I need to ask a few questions.  Did you know that if you look at a female her pupils dilate if she is attracted to you?  Could you please tell me how I can use that as manipulation.  Did you also know that if a female is attracted to you she will display a nervous tick, a very common one is playing with her hair?  Please tell me how knowing this is making me capable of manipulating a woman?  Did you know that when men and women are interested in each other they unconsciously mirror each others actions?  Once again, please explain how this can be used to manipulate women.  Did you know women tend to get bored more easily than men?  Tell me how this can be used to manipulate women.

To be honest I am not surprised you did not take them home.  You are not looking for sex.  Again, I HIGHLY recommend that you be more open to casual sexual activity.  Otherwise the woman you are with might not have sex with you, because you don't feel it is important.  Either way that was your choice.  Right now one night stands do not interest me because I am not confident in my ability to seduce women.  That tune will change once I am more confident.  I can also play the uncertainty principle here.  Who is to say that one night stand won't turn into a relationship?

I think you need to relax and open your mind a bit friend.  Well that or you need to go into hiding for at least another 5 years.  Because women your age are hitting their sexual peak.  So you will have lots more women actively seeking sex.  At the same time with these women, you can very well blow your chance with them by being prude.

You focus too much on having a sure thing.  You toss out abstract words like meaningful.  I have an uncle who was married to his wife for 20 years before they were divorced.  Does that mean that their 20 years was meaningless?  If so please tell me why.  Because my uncle does not feel that way.  Just because a relationship ends does not mean that it doesn't have meaning.  No matter how long lived or how short lived.  Your last paragraph there tells me you need to have more casual and meaningless relationships.  Because I HIGHLY doubt you can actually define a meaningful relationship.  I also think you need to give more girls a chance.  Just because they like sex does not mean they are bad people.  All those girls who approached you for a one night stand.  Who says you had to go home right away?  Why not sit there and chat with them.  Make them earn the key to your pants.  With any luck if you are charming enough you can make them completely forget they wanted to have sex with someone.  You can get them excited about having more time with you.  In all reality, that is all flirting is.  Each gender making the other one excited to see them again.

Again friend you are asking for manipulation.  Everything I have read from your replies says you are looking for steps to make her want a long term relationship with you.  Which is part of being a man.  We men love to have processes.  Where we do X, Y, Z and get A.  That is just how our minds work.  That very mindset lead you to create this thread.  The truth is there is no concrete set of methods.  There are over arching ideas and patterns.  Even then those patterns are subject to personality, likes, dislikes, season, emotional state, sexual state, social setting, and so on and so forth.  You will never find a pattern or idea that will get you any woman you want.  Such is life, she is a person.  Just like you are a person.  If you want a puppet, buy one.  There are plenty of full size 100% accurate toys out there.  If you want a relationship learn to live with flaws.

In all reality I cannot help you further.  You are asking for me, and everyone else here, to improve your situation without changing anything.  You are asking to lose weight, but you don't want any change to your current lifestyle.  It is just not something that can be done.  In order to obtain something new you often times have to sacrifice something.  For example, I sacrifice the following to lose weight

• Milk T_T I love Milk
• Beef T_T I love it too
• Pasta _-_- Withdrawal is a *****
• Anime and Video Game Time

.  However, I lost weight.  I want to be more successful with women.  So I am going out to bars to openly socialize.  I have to sacrifice time I could be playing ME2 or keeping my website up to date.  So I can go out and meet women and learn how to interact with them.   However, I want to evolve who I am.  I want to be better than I am.  At more core I am still the same person I was a year ago.  Introverted, geeky, obnoxious, blunt.  However, now I have new tools and skills to make my life better.  My investment and sacrifice was well worth it.

On a side note, I think this forum is a great place to meet women like you.  Plenty of girls here hate how horny men are and are looking for that life long commitment now.  I suggest you talk to plenty of women here.  Otherwise... well you mentioned religious people share your views.  Why not attend one of the various religious singles events?  Another group to consider might be recovering sexual addicts.  I am serious, most of them are looking to place meaning on sex and will avoid having sex with you if they can.  You just have to think of places where icy women gather.

 

[jjam]

^after reading that, changing the thread title from "getting old" to "getting too old for this ****" might be in order...

Who knew the dating game was really Differential Equations in disguise...

 

[AFrozenSoul]

^after reading that, changing the thread title from "getting old" to "getting too old for this ****" might be in order...

Who knew the dating game was really Differential Equations in disguise...

DE actually makes sense... to some degree.

 

[Twilight Sky]

^after reading that, changing the thread title from "getting old" to "getting too old for this ****" might be in order...

The latter is what I got from you in the first post. Yeah you're getting too old for the BS.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Twice now I've had 2 customers (one that has been around since we opened) that have asked me if my part timer is my son. He's 16, there's is 19-20 years difference between us, and considering our birth dates I would have been 18 when he was conceived. I wasn't trying to make babies at 18. Maybe I'm looking my age now, but I'm usually mistaken for younger than I am. He doesn't look 16 he looks more like he's 18 or older (he's one hairy kid, he can grow a beard like a full grown man). When we've gotten that I've felt a bit insulted and old, and plus if he was my kid he wouldn't be able to grow a full beard at 16 and people would think he was 14, lol. It's a reminder though that I am getting older, no matter how young or childish I act time is slipping by.

 

[jdoe22]

I appreciate the feedback. I understand why you might think I'm contradicting myself, and I will admit I'm running in circles trying to converge on a solution here.

Your message I interpret as, I need to master the art of manipulating women in order to get past the initial barriers and then after that all will be well. I think that is an option, but need be exercised with great care.

This weekend I went out... I was propositioned by several girls without asking or approaching them. Each one however was specifically looking for a one night stand, and one even went as far to tell me she had "anal beads" and "ropes to tie her up" in her bedroom waiting. I think most guys here might have been all over that... I was not impressed. By the way, this particular person was college educated.

So does this mean I'm a failure because I didn't take her home? Again, if my "approach" turned this girl off, then good, because I want nothing to do with her. The more I think about it, the more I believe that there has to be people who aren't like this... and yeah I might have failed the past 9 years but not many I know in those 9 years have sustained long term meaningful relationships, even those who were married.

I guess I'll just go back to waiting... unless you can tell me where I can find people who are aligned the same way I am. So far, I haven't found any venues.

>_>.....  Where is this place where women approach men for sex?  I have never been to such a place....

Well lets be fair friend, you are asking for manipulation.  This thread is a thread asking how you can get this girl to want you.  In the end it is all about perspective.  For example, I have a hammer.  What do I see a tool to drive nails into wood.  Yet another person sees a weapon that can injure or kill them.  I see a tool to help me increase my success with women.  You see a tool for manipulating them.  So I need to ask a few questions.  Did you know that if you look at a female her pupils dilate if she is attracted to you?  Could you please tell me how I can use that as manipulation.  Did you also know that if a female is attracted to you she will display a nervous tick, a very common one is playing with her hair?  Please tell me how knowing this is making me capable of manipulating a woman?  Did you know that when men and women are interested in each other they unconsciously mirror each others actions?  Once again, please explain how this can be used to manipulate women.  Did you know women tend to get bored more easily than men?  Tell me how this can be used to manipulate women.

To be honest I am not surprised you did not take them home.  You are not looking for sex.  Again, I HIGHLY recommend that you be more open to casual sexual activity.  Otherwise the woman you are with might not have sex with you, because you don't feel it is important.  Either way that was your choice.  Right now one night stands do not interest me because I am not confident in my ability to seduce women.  That tune will change once I am more confident.  I can also play the uncertainty principle here.  Who is to say that one night stand won't turn into a relationship?

I think you need to relax and open your mind a bit friend.  Well that or you need to go into hiding for at least another 5 years.  Because women your age are hitting their sexual peak.  So you will have lots more women actively seeking sex.  At the same time with these women, you can very well blow your chance with them by being prude.

You focus too much on having a sure thing.  You toss out abstract words like meaningful.  I have an uncle who was married to his wife for 20 years before they were divorced.  Does that mean that their 20 years was meaningless?  If so please tell me why.  Because my uncle does not feel that way.  Just because a relationship ends does not mean that it doesn't have meaning.  No matter how long lived or how short lived.  Your last paragraph there tells me you need to have more casual and meaningless relationships.  Because I HIGHLY doubt you can actually define a meaningful relationship.  I also think you need to give more girls a chance.  Just because they like sex does not mean they are bad people.  All those girls who approached you for a one night stand.  Who says you had to go home right away?  Why not sit there and chat with them.  Make them earn the key to your pants.  With any luck if you are charming enough you can make them completely forget they wanted to have sex with someone.  You can get them excited about having more time with you.  In all reality, that is all flirting is.  Each gender making the other one excited to see them again.

Again friend you are asking for manipulation.  Everything I have read from your replies says you are looking for steps to make her want a long term relationship with you.  Which is part of being a man.  We men love to have processes.  Where we do X, Y, Z and get A.  That is just how our minds work.  That very mindset lead you to create this thread.  The truth is there is no concrete set of methods.  There are over arching ideas and patterns.  Even then those patterns are subject to personality, likes, dislikes, season, emotional state, sexual state, social setting, and so on and so forth.  You will never find a pattern or idea that will get you any woman you want.  Such is life, she is a person.  Just like you are a person.  If you want a puppet, buy one.  There are plenty of full size 100% accurate toys out there.  If you want a relationship learn to live with flaws.

In all reality I cannot help you further.  You are asking for me, and everyone else here, to improve your situation without changing anything.  You are asking to lose weight, but you don't want any change to your current lifestyle.  It is just not something that can be done.  In order to obtain something new you often times have to sacrifice something.  For example, I sacrifice the following to lose weight

• Milk T_T I love Milk
• Beef T_T I love it too
• Pasta _-_- Withdrawal is a *****
• Anime and Video Game Time

.  However, I lost weight.  I want to be more successful with women.  So I am going out to bars to openly socialize.  I have to sacrifice time I could be playing ME2 or keeping my website up to date.  So I can go out and meet women and learn how to interact with them.   However, I want to evolve who I am.  I want to be better than I am.  At more core I am still the same person I was a year ago.  Introverted, geeky, obnoxious, blunt.  However, now I have new tools and skills to make my life better.  My investment and sacrifice was well worth it.

On a side note, I think this forum is a great place to meet women like you.  Plenty of girls here hate how horny men are and are looking for that life long commitment now.  I suggest you talk to plenty of women here.  Otherwise... well you mentioned religious people share your views.  Why not attend one of the various religious singles events?  Another group to consider might be recovering sexual addicts.  I am serious, most of them are looking to place meaning on sex and will avoid having sex with you if they can.  You just have to think of places where icy women gather.

I'm speechless. Thank you. I don't know why, but for some reason this all makes sense to me now...

I'll let you know how things turn out.

 

[fightclub]

So go out and play about see what turns up sounds like a good idea think I need to do more of this myself.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

Don't let it get to your head. Forget about it.