Got so lonely I called escort

[VanillaCreme]

I want to say I had a conversation with her about this the last time and I asked if it wasn't difficult to have sex with men you feel nothing for. She said: "Not at all, I enjoy sleeping with nice men". These were her exacts words.
However I still did not have sex with her and we only talked the entire hour, at the end she got bored a little, from speaking to me or by not having sex I'm not sure.

I get that you're lonely and only want some company. But the thing about it is... She's there for a different reason. And it's not to be your best friend. I suppose when two people are in any level of an intimate session, and they each have their own separate views on what should be happening, heads will probably butt. She's there for one reason; You're there for another. Not seeing eye-to-eye leads to someone being looked over, and unfortunately, that person being looked over seems like you.

 

[Hawx79]

She has the right to deny any customers to her agency. If she doesn't want to see me again she can just say so, besides I'm only going to call her one more time, there are just some few words more I need to tell her before she departs possibly from my life, or I cannot move on, what she decides after that is up to her and I will not bother her again.
Why are you people trying to talk me out of this. I cannot bare my loveless existence anymore with no meaning at all.
I am preparing and working on myself untill i call her again.
I know im being crazy, but I miss her and the thought Ill never be able to see her again is just too much I cannot take. I did not notice how much I really suffered the agonizing pain of loneliness over the years untill I met her. She made me feel alive and wanting to stand straight up in life all the time. There is nothing I would not do for her.
I know the chance of her giving me what I hope from her is very small, but its worth it to me to take that chance anyhow, anything is better then my current situation. And I'm not going to sleep with her, she means too much for me.
No one understands, I NEED TO SEE HER ONE LAST TIME OR I CANT LIVE WITH MYSELF.
There are some things I need to tell her, if nothing comes from that, only then will I be able to bury this in peace.
She is the only person I can love, no other woman will ever be good enough. Its not easy knowing she has slept with many men but If she would allow me into her heart I'd accept her just the way she is.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I think some of us do understand where you are coming from, some of us have been there before. What some are trying to get through to you is that you need to let her go. You only feel like you need to see her one last time, you don't, it isn't good for you. You are unhealthily obsessing over her. If she was ready to let you into her life she would have, or with one of the many other men who have done the same thing. Let her go and move on with your life. If you continue to hold on to her and the fantasy life you think you could have had with her you will close yourself off to finding someone who is ready for a life with you.

 

[Hawx79]

I think some of us do understand where you are coming from, some of us have been there before. What some are trying to get through to you is that you need to let her go. You only feel like you need to see her one last time, you don't, it isn't good for you. You are unhealthily obsessing over her. If she was ready to let you into her life she would have, or with one of the many other men who have done the same thing. Let her go and move on with your life. If you continue to hold on to her and the fantasy life you think you could have had with her you will close yourself off to finding someone who is ready for a life with you.

I know she won't be with me while she is doing this escorting, but I'm hoping on when she quits and comes to the conclusion how much I loved her she may contact me. This may be laughable but I sincerely believe it.
And no other woman ever loved me and I know never will.

 

[ABrokenMan]

Dude, don't rush to judge people on this forum.
Some of us (myself included) are NOT doing well in matters of romance, social endeavors, and even day to day life.
Some of us are struggling and hurting at the same time. i know i am.
I need / want desperately to see someone I still love again - just one more time.
But i cannot, because it would only serve to solidify the false illusion built up in my mind, by me.
That is what you are doing.
Don't.
Because if you do, it won't stop there. Guaranteed.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Why are you people trying to talk me out of this is because youre all doing much better then I am. I cannot bare my loveless existence anymore with no meaning at all.

. . .

No one understands, I NEED TO SEE HER ONE LAST TIME OR I CANT LIVE WITH MYSELF.

I'm not trying to stop you from doing anything. You're free to do or say whatever you want. All I was trying to say was that you're not in her vision like she's in yours.

And I completely understand when you say you want to talk to her or see her one more time. I'd love to see and talk to a few people just one more time. And hey, if you have that chance, go ahead and do it. But when is one more time going to be the last time? One more time, one more time, one more time ends up being the last ten times you've said that to yourself.

I think you're well aware of what you've placed yourself into, and I'm quite positive that this isn't the first time she's probably dealt with this. Only you can end this cycle though, because I think she's made it perfectly clear what her intentions were, and she's not supposed to change her mind simply because you proclaim your love to her.

Best of luck to you and to her.

 

[Nuke1967]

I know what you mean, I have issues with making friends my whole life, and I never had a GF, being ugly doesn't help matters, but you play the cards handed to you, I actually thought about an escort a few times, just to see what it is like, just I heard horror stories of how some of them scope out your place and their pimp robs you later, or they do. I guess getting a hotel would be a option, but the whole money thing as well.


As far as friends, people have said many times what a friendly guy I am, but for some reason not friendly enough to make friends, my brother had the same issue, my sisters could be dumped anywhere and have friends in two hours. I guess me and my brother got the short end of the social genes and my sisters got the whole thing.

One thing you could do if you want companionship, and you have money to spend, is consider a mail order bride, I do have a couple of friends, one since school, he is not good looking at all either, so he went the mail order bride route, they don't care about looks are anything, just a free ticket to the U.S., I pretty much believe you could have a third arm growing out of your head and they would marry you to get out of their situation where they live.

 

[Hawx79]

Why are you people trying to talk me out of this is because youre all doing much better then I am. I cannot bare my loveless existence anymore with no meaning at all.

. . .

No one understands, I NEED TO SEE HER ONE LAST TIME OR I CANT LIVE WITH MYSELF.

I'm not trying to stop you from doing anything. You're free to do or say whatever you want. All I was trying to say was that you're not in her vision like she's in yours.

And I completely understand when you say you want to talk to her or see her one more time. I'd love to see and talk to a few people just one more time. And hey, if you have that chance, go ahead and do it. But when is one more time going to be the last time? One more time, one more time, one more time ends up being the last ten times you've said that to yourself.

I think you're well aware of what you've placed yourself into, and I'm quite positive that this isn't the first time she's probably dealt with this. Only you can end this cycle though, because I think she's made it perfectly clear what her intentions were, and she's not supposed to change her mind simply because you proclaim your love to her.

Best of luck to you and to her.

Do you think then I am harming her if I'd call her again? And I give you my word this is going to be the last time, you need to trust me on this.

 

[Limlim]

You are. You're likely frightening her very much if you call her again about this. Your words are the *exact* same ones that are said by stalkers and sex offenders. In their own minds these people have no other recourse but to contact this person "one more time"

I'm not saying this to insult you. I know you're in great pain right now, so much so that I am actually worried over how this will turn out for you. I don't want you to get into the sort of trouble that puts you on some sort of list where they put pedophiles and honeysuckle.

I have my serious face on right now, we're in the serious room with the serious table in it. If you know anything about me at all from this forum is that I am NEVER serious. About anything. So I need you to understand right now how big of a deal it is for me to say this. .

Please please please for her sake do not call her again for this. She will be afraid of you, you will be frightening her. She will hate you. That is the last thing you want right now.

At the very least, give yourself a test before you do this. Call up a different escort and have sex with her. Then see if you still want to call this first girl again. At the very least it will give you some time before you go ahead and do this. What have you got to lose?

 

[Hawx79]

You are. You're likely frightening her very much if you call her again about this. Your words are the *exact* same ones that are said by stalkers and sex offenders. In their own minds these people have no other recourse but to contact this person "one more time"

I'm not saying this to insult you. I know you're in great pain right now, so much so that I am actually worried over how this will turn out for you. I don't want you to get into the sort of trouble that puts you on some sort of list where they put pedophiles and honeysuckle.

I have my serious face on right now, we're in the serious room with the serious table in it. If you know anything about me at all from this forum is that I am NEVER serious. About anything. So I need you to understand right now how big of a deal it is for me to say this. .

Please please please for her sake do not call her again for this. She will be afraid of you, you will be frightening her. She will hate you. That is the last thing you want right now.

At the very least, give yourself a test before you do this. Call up a different escort and have sex with her. Then see if you still want to call this first girl again. At the very least it will give you some time before you go ahead and do this. What have you got to lose?

Wtf your comparing me with pedophiles and stalkers!!

OK NOW I am done with you all!

 

[Limlim]

I clearly needed a more serious table.

I'm not calling you any of those things. But that is how she will start to see it if you continue on with this. What I'm saying is that it's not too late. You can still get out of this before it blows up in your face.

Look at it from a distance. What do you think is more likely? That you have the right of it or that everyone else who advised against this is? Those same people who were RIGHT when they told you what her reaction was going to be. Why aren't you giving us credibility in this matter after we're 1 to 0 on this? Haven't we proven ourselves?

I want to stress I am not insulting you. I'm trying desperately to help you at this point. I'm not trying to save your soul, I'm not trying to preach a moral high ground. I'm trying to keep you out of trouble and save you from getting hurt.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Do you think then I am harming her if I'd call her again? And I give you my word this is going to be the last time, you need to trust me on this.

I don't believe Lim meant that you were indeed a stalker or anything else. Many people would think that your choice of words are more closely related to someone with an obvious obsession.

It doesn't matter if I think you're harming her. I don't need to trust your word either, because it's not on my shoulders. This is your atmosphere you're making, not mine. I think that she's made it more than clear to you what she was to you, and if you decide not to take her words to you seriously, then be prepared for people to think it's more than just you falling for someone. I know that personally, if a guy didn't want to take no for an answer, I'd probably be more inclined to ignore anything about him.

If you care for her, I think it'd be best if you quickly realized that she's probably not going to return the feelings you have for her.

 

[Batman55]

Wtf your comparing me with pedophiles and stalkers!!

OK NOW I am done with you all!

I don't think Lim was actually lumping you in with those two groups, but I agree that his post came off too aggressively. If indeed this woman told the OP "never contact me again" and he's disobeying that protocol, then maybe such judgment is warranted; otherwise, he's someone who's infatuated and hasn't gotten over it yet. I'm not sure I see a true stalker in this yet, why don't we refrain from such labels until that becomes clear?

 

[Limlim]

Wtf your comparing me with pedophiles and stalkers!!

OK NOW I am done with you all!

I don't think Lim was actually lumping you in with those two groups, but I agree that his post came off too aggressively. If indeed this woman told the OP "never contact me again" and he's disobeying that protocol, then maybe such judgment is warranted; otherwise, he's someone who's infatuated and hasn't gotten over it yet. I'm not sure I see a true stalker in this yet, why don't we refrain from such labels until that becomes clear?

Indeed, and while we are at it we should also refrain from the following labels: Murderer, jaywalker and nutella enthusiast.

What do these have to do with the current discussion? I've called him those the same number of times as I have a stalker. To be clear, I'm telling him he wants to "avoid" being called that.

 

[Sci-Fi]

How about no name calling or comparing people in such a way then there won't be a problem. I'm sure you can express yourself or your concern without comparing someone to a pedophile who isn't one.

 

[1000lifetimes]

cannot bare my loveless existence anymore with no meaning at all.
I am preparing and working on myself untill i call her again.
I know im being crazy, but I miss her and the thought Ill never be able to see her again is just too much I cannot take. I did not notice how much I really suffered the agonizing pain of loneliness over the years untill I met her. She made me feel alive and wanting to stand straight up in life all the time. And I'm not going to sleep with her, she means too much for me.
No one understands, I NEED TO SEE HER ONE LAST TIME OR I CANT LIVE WITH MYSELF.

This was hard to read. Hawx I feel for you man, I really do. The part of me that loves an underdog almost roots for you man, but the part of me that bets on the favorite just doesn't see it going your way.

The really harsh thing is you hear this stuff happen all the time...
Poor guy has been without anybody his whole life..
All the emotions a human being is supposed to feel for a loved one - all bottled up...
First woman to give him a taste of what he's wanted to feel his whole life,
And all those emotions come crashing through the flood gates...
So much that he doesn't even care that the object of his affection isn't real...
And the best thing we can come up with to tell the guy is to go back to bottling up his emotions...Unfortunately man, it's probably for the best hawx.

The world's a cruel place sometimes man - it's hard to watch it turn people cold like this.

Hawx - don't call her man, she's just gonna take your money and leave you even worse than you are right now. Don't do it for any other reason other than you deserve better than that...

Keep working on yourself, give it time...and for Christ sake someone who knows a woman who lives near Hawx hook him up will ya!

 

[Limlim]

How about no name calling or comparing people in such a way then there won't be a problem. I'm sure you can express yourself or your concern without comparing someone to a pedophile who isn't one.

Edit: Had a fun reply here, but you're not worth it buddy. I'm not really gonna participate in stroking your ego so you can feel good about striking back at whatever bullying you went through growing up.

I can't believe taking -this- road is what would do it after this many years, just goes to show I should have stayed a forum troll. Was a fun ride everyone! Thanks for all the fish!

 

[ardour]

The really harsh thing is you hear this stuff happen all the time...
Poor guy has been without anybody his whole life..
All the emotions a human being is supposed to feel for a loved one - all bottled up...
First woman to give him a taste of what he's wanted to feel his whole life,
And all those emotions come crashing through the flood gates...
So much that he doesn't even care that the object of his affection isn't real...
And the best thing we can come up with to tell the guy is to go back to bottling up his emotions...Unfortunately man, it's probably for the best hawx.

It's an unfortunate situation that the person it's directed towards is least likely to be emotionally available, even just as a friend. Tragic actually.

Keep working on yourself, give it time...and for Christ sake someone who knows a woman who lives near Hawx hook him up will ya!

Sadly that's not how infatuation is, it feels like no-one else will do.

Hawx79 sorry if I judged you - don't contact her - you'll regret it and it could get you in some serious trouble. It does get better. It doesn't seem like it now but you can and will move on.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Lim didn't say pedophile, that's what the OP took from what Lim said. I agree with what Lim said. And it's clear that other people do, as well, since Lim isn't the first to mention stalking or being too obsessed with the girl.

When the OP uses words like "desperate" "NEED" "HAVE TO" "WILL DIE" when talking about another person, sorry, but that IS what stalkers and sex offenders say to justify it. Lim never said he WAS one, he said these are words that people like that use and to try to REFRAIN from going down the road that could lead him to possibly become one of those things.
You people can say I don't know what the fresia I'm talking about if you want, but I have been in those type of situations and close friends have been in those situations, so I do know what they say and how they act.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Lim didn't say pedophile, that's what the OP took from what Lim said. I agree with what Lim said. And it's clear that other people do, as well, since Lim isn't the first to mention stalking or being too obsessed with the girl.

I'm not saying this to insult you. I know you're in great pain right now, so much so that I am actually worried over how this will turn out for you. I don't want you to get into the sort of trouble that puts you on some sort of list where they put pedophiles and honeysuckle.

Really? Guess you didn't read his post very well then, he said it right there.