Governed by fear

[jimmymckooel]

I find life so hard, I'm governed by fear. I think something bad will happen everytime I leave the house. I'm suspicious of my friends, I find it hard to trust anyone. I hate waking up, just wish I could sleep all day. I know I can change but it's not gonna happen over night. My lifes always one foot on the accelerator and one on the brakes and I'm braking all the time. I'm scared of everything, even close realtionships. I'm just governed by fear, I got a mountain to climb.

 

[LGH1288]

I find life so hard, I'm governed by fear. I think something bad will happen everytime I leave the house. I'm suspicious of my friends, I find it hard to trust anyone. I hate waking up, just wish I could sleep all day. I know I can change but it's not gonna happen over night. My lifes always one foot on the accelerator and one on the brakes and I'm braking all the time. I'm scared of everything, even close realtionships. I'm just governed by fear, I got a mountain to climb.

Hi Jimmy -- I have almost the same issues except I don't mind waking up. Yes, it's difficult to live this way. I don't consider mine as phobias, rather they're anxieties. I've begun using "oxazepam", a mild benzodiazepine (metabolite of diazepam). I don't feel tired or druggy at all, and I notice that I'm no longer "putting on the brakes" as you've described. I really do understand how you feel; it's a very frustrating way to live. LG

 

[jimmymckooel]

Hi LG, thanks for replying, just thought I'd post that. Yeah, I used to be on citalopram, my doc won't give me any diazepam type drugs (which is a shame because they're really good), eventually I stopped taking them, they help briefly, eventaully I didn't notice a difference. Right now I've lost my job and I have to wait until October to start back at uni. I'm in a rut, don't know what I'm doing just now. Guess I keep hitting the brakes, lol.

 

[LGH1288]

Hi LG, thanks for replying, just thought I'd post that. Yeah, I used to be on citalopram, my doc won't give me any diazepam type drugs (which is a shame because they're really good), eventually I stopped taking them, they help briefly, eventaully I didn't notice a difference. Right now I've lost my job and I have to wait until October to start back at uni. I'm in a rut, don't know what I'm doing just now. Guess I keep hitting the brakes, lol.

I hope I won't be using medication for the long-term because the tolerance factor will eventually become an issue. The best advice I can offer you is to try an experiment on a day-to-day basis. When you feel your foot getting ready to "hit the brakes", take a new approach: Gently push yourself through your fear/anxiety and ONLY if you succeed then document what happened in a journal. Between now and when you resume at university I challenge you to document one journal entry per day. Do your best, even if it's very small steps. Best, LG

 

[triilsk]

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Hi LG, thanks for replying, just thought I'd post that. Yeah, I used to be on citalopram, my doc won't give me any diazepam type drugs (which is a shame because they're really good), eventually I stopped taking them, they help briefly, eventaully I didn't notice a difference. Right now I've lost my job and I have to wait until October to start back at uni. I'm in a rut, don't know what I'm doing just now. Guess I keep hitting the brakes, lol.

I´m really sorry to hear that jimmy, sounds like you need something to motivate you. What about uni, have you been studying something you really love? Sometimes it helps to focus on the things you are most passionate about.

Please hang in there man, good luck!

 

[Mr. Sir]

I have this problem too, man.

I will discuss this with you later.

 

[oh_boy]

Yeah if your life is screwed enough your fear only rises - you don't wanna lose that little you still possess due to some stupid mistake. Life sometimes even gets save-state hard - I mean it feels sometimes it's so necessary to have an option to go back in time in case of accidental critical failure in your life. But these are just dreams. I hate this life.
And the only thing remains is to learn to give a lesser heck about what you're doing. You may start for example posting some stuff on this forum you'd like to post but you fear it's idiotic. Even if it is, come on, who is going to remember that after... a year. And if you have some big fear already, don't worry, it won't allow you to be a complete imbecile here unless you get high or something.