Greetings

[berlin10]

I come here as a senior sufferer as I see by the ages of most of the people. I, at 59, have been living under this cloud all my life. I have also been trying to figure the whole thing out, even as a child I was very analytical. Yes, I did live my life despite extreme social anxiety, panic attacks, poor self esteem ( this is probably secondary to the above ) , established a good career married and had two kids who are now the age of many of the posters. My marriage was of course flawed, I hooked up with someone who basically isn't interested in people, me included, which fit into my persona I guess since anybody else would have probably been turned off by my problems. Oh well. Anyway, as I see it the root of the problem here is probably hard wiring, I know I have been like this all my life, social connections have always been a struggle. Unfortunately I believe you are born with this. think that Social behavior is to a great extent influenced by non verbal cues and behaviors, how you look at someone, facial expressions that we wear, posture etc. These cues are just part of natural behavior and I am pretty sure that I am lacking in these kind of behaviors, sending out the wrong kind of signals, or no signals or whatever. I have a feeling this is probably what a lot if people with this kind of life problem are suffering from. We at the same time still have the innate need and yearning for these kinds of social connections that we are so bad at forming. One reason I had this insight was because of my wife - People have always gravitated towards her, tried to make friends with her etc. I observed this on countless occasions. The irony of this is that she is just not interested in that kind of connection, she prefers her animals and is very happy to live alone with them. The only people she has nay contact with are those that are also involved with animals. She was really the one that led me to these insights. Moving forward though, if you sit around and bemoan the situation you just sink into the morass of despair, a bottomless pit in which I have spent enough time there. I am now actively trying to change this, I have officially separated from my wife and am trying hard to establish a social life. I know this isn't going to be easy, the underlying problems are still there. This is going to take a lot more work than it would for someone without this affliction, and I think that is what it is. But handicaps, and again I do believe that is what this is, can be overcome. would love to know what other people think. Thanks. ( I know I'm long winded - another aspect of the problem?)

 

[Callie]

WELCOME :d

Sorry, didn't mean to yell at you :shy:

 

[DVEUS]

welcome berlin...

you have a positive attitude which is a great start...

 

[Kate]

I come here as a senior sufferer as I see by the ages of most of the people. I, at 59, have been living under this cloud all my life. I have also been trying to figure the whole thing out, even as a child I was very analytical. Yes, I did live my life despite extreme social anxiety, panic attacks, poor self esteem ( this is probably secondary to the above ) , established a good career married and had two kids who are now the age of many of the posters. My marriage was of course flawed, I hooked up with someone who basically isn't interested in people, me included, which fit into my persona I guess since anybody else would have probably been turned off by my problems. Oh well. Anyway, as I see it the root of the problem here is probably hard wiring, I know I have been like this all my life, social connections have always been a struggle. Unfortunately I believe you are born with this. think that Social behavior is to a great extent influenced by non verbal cues and behaviors, how you look at someone, facial expressions that we wear, posture etc. These cues are just part of natural behavior and I am pretty sure that I am lacking in these kind of behaviors, sending out the wrong kind of signals, or no signals or whatever. I have a feeling this is probably what a lot if people with this kind of life problem are suffering from. We at the same time still have the innate need and yearning for these kinds of social connections that we are so bad at forming. One reason I had this insight was because of my wife - People have always gravitated towards her, tried to make friends with her etc. I observed this on countless occasions. The irony of this is that she is just not interested in that kind of connection, she prefers her animals and is very happy to live alone with them. The only people she has nay contact with are those that are also involved with animals. She was really the one that led me to these insights. Moving forward though, if you sit around and bemoan the situation you just sink into the morass of despair, a bottomless pit in which I have spent enough time there. I am now actively trying to change this, I have officially separated from my wife and am trying hard to establish a social life. I know this isn't going to be easy, the underlying problems are still there. This is going to take a lot more work than it would for someone without this affliction, and I think that is what it is. But handicaps, and again I do believe that is what this is, can be overcome. would love to know what other people think. Thanks. ( I know I'm long winded - another aspect of the problem?)
Hi, you're not alone in being a senior member, I'm 43, so it's really good to see you here.. problems don't just disappear as we get older sadly... hope you feel welcome Kate

 

[hopsfox]

Hello Berlin and a warm welcome and hope you stay around. I am fairly new here too and like the ALL community and the chat already.

 

[Jilted John]

Hi and welcome Berlin,59? Pfft,you're 2 years younger than me!

 

[MissGuided]

Hey there Berlin and a very warm welcome. I quite enjoyed reading your post and I honestly think this is a great place for you 'start your new journey'...these folks are awesome!

 

[SophiaGrace]

hi berlin. Sorry you are here (meaning, sorry you are lonely and find it hard to make friends)

I hope ALL can provide a sense of community and healing for you.

Be well,
Soph

 

[Reno Bill]

Great intro post! Yes, we all share many of the same issues here in this forum. Welcome and I'm glad you joined us. Hope the forum is enjoyable and helpful to you!

I come here as a senior sufferer as I see by the ages of most of the people. I, at 59, have been living under this cloud all my life. I have also been trying to figure the whole thing out, even as a child I was very analytical. Yes, I did live my life despite extreme social anxiety, panic attacks, poor self esteem ( this is probably secondary to the above ) , established a good career married and had two kids who are now the age of many of the posters. My marriage was of course flawed, I hooked up with someone who basically isn't interested in people, me included, which fit into my persona I guess since anybody else would have probably been turned off by my problems. Oh well. Anyway, as I see it the root of the problem here is probably hard wiring, I know I have been like this all my life, social connections have always been a struggle. Unfortunately I believe you are born with this. think that Social behavior is to a great extent influenced by non verbal cues and behaviors, how you look at someone, facial expressions that we wear, posture etc. These cues are just part of natural behavior and I am pretty sure that I am lacking in these kind of behaviors, sending out the wrong kind of signals, or no signals or whatever. I have a feeling this is probably what a lot if people with this kind of life problem are suffering from. We at the same time still have the innate need and yearning for these kinds of social connections that we are so bad at forming. One reason I had this insight was because of my wife - People have always gravitated towards her, tried to make friends with her etc. I observed this on countless occasions. The irony of this is that she is just not interested in that kind of connection, she prefers her animals and is very happy to live alone with them. The only people she has nay contact with are those that are also involved with animals. She was really the one that led me to these insights. Moving forward though, if you sit around and bemoan the situation you just sink into the morass of despair, a bottomless pit in which I have spent enough time there. I am now actively trying to change this, I have officially separated from my wife and am trying hard to establish a social life. I know this isn't going to be easy, the underlying problems are still there. This is going to take a lot more work than it would for someone without this affliction, and I think that is what it is. But handicaps, and again I do believe that is what this is, can be overcome. would love to know what other people think. Thanks. ( I know I'm long winded - another aspect of the problem?)

 

[Bones]

Welcome to the site!

 

[Pezza]

Welcome to the Forum Berlin