Ursus Veritas
Well-known member
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2010
- Messages
- 45
- Reaction score
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Hey.
I am Ursus Veritas. It was a project taken on by one of my favourite musicians.
http://ursusveritas.blogspot.com/ For a longer read.
I have found it a bigger way.
I am a webmaster myself.
A few things i've come to learn in my life.
I am completely alone. No one does and will understand me for two reasons. One personal, one just plain trepidation.
I have moderate aspergers, moderate ADHD, terrible fine motor skills, depression, and i'm most likely leaving something out. I do realize for me to have kids means that they have a extremely high chance of getting these, assuming my partner is of perfect heritage.
I also suffer from something that i consider worse then the above. Knowledge. I feel i know people better then they do. Their actions. I fixate on people. I've spent the last 5 months staying up late at night just thinking of possible things that could happen. Every possible scenario goes through my head. Not joking i've counted 381 ways i could die on the toilet on May 24 weekend. Peoples actions are nothing to me. When drama happens at school, i know whats happening next. People think i just get told things. Which i do, but not locally. Actions just seem obvious for me.
I've made terrible mistakes. As we all have, but i've done some that have done real damage to others. I had a good friend, who mind the fact i only met twice, was there lifeline, from their family. I actually went to please myself, thinking after all the people i've helped, i deserve something for myself. I realized that was selfish. They became what they were afraid of, because 2 weeks i wasn't around much. They got into drugs, alcoholic, and how people acquire such things...
Thats about it for now.
Thought i'd come clean somewhere.
I am Ursus Veritas. It was a project taken on by one of my favourite musicians.
http://ursusveritas.blogspot.com/ For a longer read.
I have found it a bigger way.
I am a webmaster myself.
A few things i've come to learn in my life.
I am completely alone. No one does and will understand me for two reasons. One personal, one just plain trepidation.
I have moderate aspergers, moderate ADHD, terrible fine motor skills, depression, and i'm most likely leaving something out. I do realize for me to have kids means that they have a extremely high chance of getting these, assuming my partner is of perfect heritage.
I also suffer from something that i consider worse then the above. Knowledge. I feel i know people better then they do. Their actions. I fixate on people. I've spent the last 5 months staying up late at night just thinking of possible things that could happen. Every possible scenario goes through my head. Not joking i've counted 381 ways i could die on the toilet on May 24 weekend. Peoples actions are nothing to me. When drama happens at school, i know whats happening next. People think i just get told things. Which i do, but not locally. Actions just seem obvious for me.
I've made terrible mistakes. As we all have, but i've done some that have done real damage to others. I had a good friend, who mind the fact i only met twice, was there lifeline, from their family. I actually went to please myself, thinking after all the people i've helped, i deserve something for myself. I realized that was selfish. They became what they were afraid of, because 2 weeks i wasn't around much. They got into drugs, alcoholic, and how people acquire such things...
Thats about it for now.
Thought i'd come clean somewhere.
