Sh4d0w
New member
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2008
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This is the first time I ever posted in forum
First of all, excuse me since my english isn't good, I'll do my best to make it understandable
Now where should I start, I'm 23 year old, living in indonesia, I was raised in a broken family, like so many other peoples out there
Back then when everything was alright, I used to live a happy life with so many friends around, but then one day my father use drugs, and got addicted to it, he spend all the money he had on drugs and other stuffs (many kind of stuffs ) that led his company to bankrupt,and worst of all he even had child from another woman , then he leaves the house leaving his wife and his 6 children, (I have lots of siblings ) My uncle felt pity on us, and help the company recover from its debt. The problem is my mother is not mentally stable after everything my father did on us, her body is also becaming weak, and she needs to take her pills daily. And since I'm the oldest child in my family, everyone's been pushing me to replace my mother to work in the company. So I did,after all its not like I've got any choice with all the siblings I have, I just can't leave and do what I want , that will make me just like my father. I have to throw away all of my dreams, and work at the just recovered company, which of course in such state you can't expect a lot. I study at the college by evening (On economic which I actually hate, but had to take) and work by day, and taking care of my siblings almost everyday (whether its picking them from school,or some assignment they have,etc). And I've gotten lonely, really. Each day is just full of assignments and works, I don't get any chance to hang out with my friends at all,and on weekend they just spend their time with their gf/bf I'm lucky to have many siblings to talk/socialize, but it still can't ease my loneliness. I feel like its gonna be a very boring future ahead of me. Is what I feel making sense?, or is it just just my selfish ego that makes me think like this. I always thought to myself that I love all of my siblings, so its alright for me to work for them until they graduate and can live on their own, I still love them, but I also started to feel like its a pain. I wake up everyday in the morning and scream in my heart "This is not the life that I want" Oh right I stopped visiting church 3 years ago which is bad I guess, but oh well this isn't a christian forum so it doesn't really matter
That's a little bit of my life, I'm sorry if i have said anything wrong, and Oh, I hope you don't get confused reading my english
First of all, excuse me since my english isn't good, I'll do my best to make it understandable
Now where should I start, I'm 23 year old, living in indonesia, I was raised in a broken family, like so many other peoples out there
Back then when everything was alright, I used to live a happy life with so many friends around, but then one day my father use drugs, and got addicted to it, he spend all the money he had on drugs and other stuffs (many kind of stuffs
) that led his company to bankrupt,and worst of all he even had child from another woman , then he leaves the house leaving his wife and his 6 children, (I have lots of siblings ) My uncle felt pity on us, and help the company recover from its debt. The problem is my mother is not mentally stable after everything my father did on us, her body is also becaming weak, and she needs to take her pills daily. And since I'm the oldest child in my family, everyone's been pushing me to replace my mother to work in the company. So I did,after all its not like I've got any choice with all the siblings I have, I just can't leave and do what I want , that will make me just like my father. I have to throw away all of my dreams, and work at the just recovered company, which of course in such state you can't expect a lot. I study at the college by evening (On economic which I actually hate, but had to take) and work by day, and taking care of my siblings almost everyday (whether its picking them from school,or some assignment they have,etc). And I've gotten lonely, really. Each day is just full of assignments and works, I don't get any chance to hang out with my friends at all,and on weekend they just spend their time with their gf/bf I'm lucky to have many siblings to talk/socialize, but it still can't ease my loneliness. I feel like its gonna be a very boring future ahead of me. Is what I feel making sense?, or is it just just my selfish ego that makes me think like this. I always thought to myself that I love all of my siblings, so its alright for me to work for them until they graduate and can live on their own, I still love them, but I also started to feel like its a pain. I wake up everyday in the morning and scream in my heart "This is not the life that I want" Oh right I stopped visiting church 3 years ago which is bad I guess, but oh well this isn't a christian forum so it doesn't really matter That's a little bit of my life, I'm sorry if i have said anything wrong, and Oh, I hope you don't get confused reading my english
