Hello everyone....
I just turned 30 in November, and living in Canada.
Thought I'd post here....Looks like a good place for someone like me.
I guess I'll tell a little of my story here:
Almost always been a lonely person....most of my life I've been outcast....rejected....abused in every way you can think of....never really had a family or any true friends. Save for one wonderful person who showed me compassion and gave me the strength to keep living....but that person sadly passed away long ago.....at too young an age....and especially since then I've been miserable inside a happy, optimistic outer shell. I've tried so hard to make a good life for myself.....but what's the point when you are completely isolated and alone? I especially get sad around xmas, because that's when it happened....just when I was promised I could enjoy it like others, and I always see families together being happy, and I never knew what that's like to even have one!
I just don't understand why it has to be this way....people can be so cruel and judgemental. Back when I gave my time and energy for others....thought it was mostly taken advantage of, there were some cases where it was totally worthwhile. If everyone could just experience the joy you get by seeing someone smile when you've brightened their day; kindness instead of blatant disregard for the feelings of others, maybe there wouldn't be so much cruelty in this world.
These days, I've tried so hard to make friends and get myself out of this slump, but no one cares....I was so close to winning this battle...especially with an illness that makes my body very weak, starting when I was about 14. Recently, my health has deteriorated to the point it's not really sure right now I'm going to be alive for much longer. I think the fact I bear this extreme sadness I've hidden from the world and all the stress is helping that along.
I come here in the hopes that I can maybe make some friends who know what this emptiness is like.....who can maybe help me feel just a little better, and also....I would like to do whatever I can to do the same for anyone else, because NO ONE should have to go through this kind of pain....It truly breaks my heart this day to stumble upon this forum and see that there's a lot of people out there who have to feel so alone...
Sorry if I seem a little silly saying all this. But I just dunno what to do from here on out. I'm going through a really dark time now and I could really use a friend....
I just turned 30 in November, and living in Canada.
Thought I'd post here....Looks like a good place for someone like me.
I guess I'll tell a little of my story here:
Almost always been a lonely person....most of my life I've been outcast....rejected....abused in every way you can think of....never really had a family or any true friends. Save for one wonderful person who showed me compassion and gave me the strength to keep living....but that person sadly passed away long ago.....at too young an age....and especially since then I've been miserable inside a happy, optimistic outer shell. I've tried so hard to make a good life for myself.....but what's the point when you are completely isolated and alone? I especially get sad around xmas, because that's when it happened....just when I was promised I could enjoy it like others, and I always see families together being happy, and I never knew what that's like to even have one!
I just don't understand why it has to be this way....people can be so cruel and judgemental. Back when I gave my time and energy for others....thought it was mostly taken advantage of, there were some cases where it was totally worthwhile. If everyone could just experience the joy you get by seeing someone smile when you've brightened their day; kindness instead of blatant disregard for the feelings of others, maybe there wouldn't be so much cruelty in this world.
These days, I've tried so hard to make friends and get myself out of this slump, but no one cares....I was so close to winning this battle...especially with an illness that makes my body very weak, starting when I was about 14. Recently, my health has deteriorated to the point it's not really sure right now I'm going to be alive for much longer. I think the fact I bear this extreme sadness I've hidden from the world and all the stress is helping that along.
I come here in the hopes that I can maybe make some friends who know what this emptiness is like.....who can maybe help me feel just a little better, and also....I would like to do whatever I can to do the same for anyone else, because NO ONE should have to go through this kind of pain....It truly breaks my heart this day to stumble upon this forum and see that there's a lot of people out there who have to feel so alone...
Sorry if I seem a little silly saying all this. But I just dunno what to do from here on out. I'm going through a really dark time now and I could really use a friend....
