danj210
New member
Hello, my name is Daniel. I'll give my story in a nutshell of why I am here.
I'm 30 and currently in Florida where I did grown up in but moved from to Atlanta where I lived about the same length of time as I did in Florida before moving to North Carolina for two years coming to Florida here again where I've been for the past year and a half. I was actually very happy in North Carolina until I met a married woman who claimed to be miserable and with the wrong man and had an affair with for one of those years. She moved out and had me planning on a divorce just months away until something happened and love became cruelty.
Long story short is that I did get very hurt and as much as I would like to be mean back I just can't, the downside to that is that I've let her destroy me socially in the town in NC I was in which is a bummer because I very much enjoyed it there, have had a family cabin for the past 22 years that we all have gone to as a 2nd getaway vacation home so the town isn't easily replaceable. I did not want to leave and especially not to Florida but at the time I did what she wanted me to without knowing there was an ulterior motive.
Anyways. I am a very kind and genuine guy which I actually attract the attention of a lot of people because of it. I like to help people feel good about themselves when they are down and naturally, I gravitate more towards women because I think they are beautiful, I just can't help myself when I see them sad. But it always seems like women either want to use me or just be friends with me while they get hurt by guy to guy until they realize I'm not abnormal, I'm just not like most a-hole guys and by then it's too late because then they would want me except I cannot develop feelings for them after being there for them through each guy. Sometimes it down hurt me because when I am there, we do get close, I get blind sighted thinking I get a chance when I am very far off and wrong. And it just happens every time pretty much the same way. This married woman somehow had me truly believing all my smiles through loneliness have finally paid off as it did for her too with some of the things she said was nothing close to what I had gotten before and after 28 years I truly had someone meant for me. But just wrong again...
I don't want anyone to feel bad for me but after her and some of the cruel things that have been done and said, I am very insecure about everything I do and the way I look, I tremble often and have pretty much secluded myself from meeting anyone especially women. But there's a terrible downside to that too and I'm lonely, lonely and just not loved, I feel that I'm not wanted cause I'm not a jerk enough, not man enough, afraid of the hurt when someone who is will somehow capture what I love again. Of course so long without sex is pretty hard to get past as well. Which leaves me in a pretty vicious circle and to what end? Could be tomorrow or another 28 years. Could be never, not everyone does end up finding their mate...
So it has become pretty hard lately. I miss this woman I haven't seen since leaving NC, I miss her deeply, because she was what I was looking for. I've seen therapists and they all say that I'm pretty solid and intelligent with an amazing grasp on everything that I don't even need to be there. The only thing they all tell me to do is to do what I don't want to do anyway. But the pain I go through in my heart and mind everyday is just overbearing. I don't know what to do. I thought maybe I should check for any forums of single or lonely people to at least have people who can possibly relate that I can chat with and it took me a lot to say all of this and I'm afraid of what peoples responses will be but I'm doing it anyway.
I used to be the center of attention, liked by all and friends with all because I'd always be there ands help make those feel good again. Doesn't seem like the same was ever done for me until her, but I didn't mind it before her, not as I do now anyway. I can't find what I had inside of me which made me this epic person before and I'm afraid the extent of the damage that was done has created the new me that even I can't stand being. Oh and I've tried being an a-hole before but I just can't do it. So yea, there's my nutshell, I think...
I talk best to women and open up best to women, I don't know why. I'm such a neutral guy that I can practically be bro's with any guy I meet, but apparently guy friends aren't a problem and I'm absolutely straight or I wouldn't be lonely at all. But anyways, if you've read all of this I appreciate your time in reading. I'll see what all I can read and what else I can post cause I'd like to interact.
Talk to you guys and gals throughout the boards, thank you....
Daniel
I'm 30 and currently in Florida where I did grown up in but moved from to Atlanta where I lived about the same length of time as I did in Florida before moving to North Carolina for two years coming to Florida here again where I've been for the past year and a half. I was actually very happy in North Carolina until I met a married woman who claimed to be miserable and with the wrong man and had an affair with for one of those years. She moved out and had me planning on a divorce just months away until something happened and love became cruelty.
Long story short is that I did get very hurt and as much as I would like to be mean back I just can't, the downside to that is that I've let her destroy me socially in the town in NC I was in which is a bummer because I very much enjoyed it there, have had a family cabin for the past 22 years that we all have gone to as a 2nd getaway vacation home so the town isn't easily replaceable. I did not want to leave and especially not to Florida but at the time I did what she wanted me to without knowing there was an ulterior motive.
Anyways. I am a very kind and genuine guy which I actually attract the attention of a lot of people because of it. I like to help people feel good about themselves when they are down and naturally, I gravitate more towards women because I think they are beautiful, I just can't help myself when I see them sad. But it always seems like women either want to use me or just be friends with me while they get hurt by guy to guy until they realize I'm not abnormal, I'm just not like most a-hole guys and by then it's too late because then they would want me except I cannot develop feelings for them after being there for them through each guy. Sometimes it down hurt me because when I am there, we do get close, I get blind sighted thinking I get a chance when I am very far off and wrong. And it just happens every time pretty much the same way. This married woman somehow had me truly believing all my smiles through loneliness have finally paid off as it did for her too with some of the things she said was nothing close to what I had gotten before and after 28 years I truly had someone meant for me. But just wrong again...
I don't want anyone to feel bad for me but after her and some of the cruel things that have been done and said, I am very insecure about everything I do and the way I look, I tremble often and have pretty much secluded myself from meeting anyone especially women. But there's a terrible downside to that too and I'm lonely, lonely and just not loved, I feel that I'm not wanted cause I'm not a jerk enough, not man enough, afraid of the hurt when someone who is will somehow capture what I love again. Of course so long without sex is pretty hard to get past as well. Which leaves me in a pretty vicious circle and to what end? Could be tomorrow or another 28 years. Could be never, not everyone does end up finding their mate...
So it has become pretty hard lately. I miss this woman I haven't seen since leaving NC, I miss her deeply, because she was what I was looking for. I've seen therapists and they all say that I'm pretty solid and intelligent with an amazing grasp on everything that I don't even need to be there. The only thing they all tell me to do is to do what I don't want to do anyway. But the pain I go through in my heart and mind everyday is just overbearing. I don't know what to do. I thought maybe I should check for any forums of single or lonely people to at least have people who can possibly relate that I can chat with and it took me a lot to say all of this and I'm afraid of what peoples responses will be but I'm doing it anyway.
I used to be the center of attention, liked by all and friends with all because I'd always be there ands help make those feel good again. Doesn't seem like the same was ever done for me until her, but I didn't mind it before her, not as I do now anyway. I can't find what I had inside of me which made me this epic person before and I'm afraid the extent of the damage that was done has created the new me that even I can't stand being. Oh and I've tried being an a-hole before but I just can't do it. So yea, there's my nutshell, I think...
I talk best to women and open up best to women, I don't know why. I'm such a neutral guy that I can practically be bro's with any guy I meet, but apparently guy friends aren't a problem and I'm absolutely straight or I wouldn't be lonely at all. But anyways, if you've read all of this I appreciate your time in reading. I'll see what all I can read and what else I can post cause I'd like to interact.
Talk to you guys and gals throughout the boards, thank you....
Daniel
