I guess I'm here for the same reason as most of you people are 
As seems to be the way of doing things here, I'll briefly introduce myself and for those who are interested, the reasons behind my lonely blues.
I'm a 24 year old guy living in the land of chocolate, beer & waffles (Belgium that is).
For some time now I've had problems shaking the feeling of loneliness off me. I suppose there's several reasons for that. I'm a late child in the family. Being born nine years after my sister and twelve after my brother, you could say there's a near generation gap between me and my siblings. They're in different stages of their lives as I am. Everything seems to be about their children. Same can be said about my parents who love taking up the role of grandparents. The result is that I'm somewhat left out in the family. No one really talks to me because there is little they can relate to. Often during family occasions I just sit there as garnish to the family pie. No one really needs me there, but they'll still invite me because that's the way it is supposed to be. As a result I'm feeling incredibly lonely being surrounded by the people who matter the most. No one inside the family really knows me.
As for friends, I have little close ones. There are three who come to mind. One of them left -today- for what is literally the other side of the world to go live and work there (He lost his heart to China and not surprisingly a Chinese girl short after). The second one I barely hear from these days. Maybe once a month, usually by my initiative. Ever since his dad became terminal ill, he started shelling up. Whenever I contact him, I feel like I'm just bothering him and he's rather left to himself. The last one is probably the most important still. Although he often disappears from the globe for several days. I still talk to him reasonably often. But hanging doesn't happen very often anymore ever since we stopped attending the same school. (We live about 30 miles apart or so).
I'll finish of with my love life. In my short 24 year existence I've had a handful of relationships, none of them lasted very long or had a lot of meaning. With one notable exception. I've only ever really loved this one single girl, in a very profound way. In retrospect that girl is probably the only person I truly had that sense of "connection" with. But it didn't work out as little of these things do. We broke up almost two years ago and remained friends. She's dated other people since then, so have I. Even had relationships, which was all fine in a way. But she recently met this new guy which seems to be a 2.0 version of me. And while I had learned to deal with the fact it was very unlikely me and her were ever going to be more than friends again. This guy seems to be replacing me as friend as well, and that stings.. a lot. In a way it's a relief, I think it's healthy for me that I'm going low profile with her. I'm fairly positive we'll make it as friends, since friendships like these only come along a few times in a lifetime. But knowing she's found someone she loves and cares about more than me, while I'm seriously doubting if it is even possible for me to rebuild anything like I had with her, with someone new... well, that makes me feel ... lonely.
And that's about the gist of it. I know this might come of as whiny. But I'm really not that dark hearted. I love loving life, it's just not that simple at the moment. Right now i'm holding on to goals and dreams. Convincing myself that this bleeding sensation of loneliness will disappear eventually as long as I don't let myself get carried way. It would just be a lot easier to get up in the morning if I didn't wake to the feeling of having to face the world all by myself yet another day. I'm sure a lot of you know what I'm talking about.
And that was my heart letting the proverbial fart. Thanks for having read this Mr/Misses anonymous. Feel free to PM me for some lighthearted chatter or sharing your own emotional demons, is alll good. I'll be roaming these forums until then. Peace out!
As seems to be the way of doing things here, I'll briefly introduce myself and for those who are interested, the reasons behind my lonely blues.
I'm a 24 year old guy living in the land of chocolate, beer & waffles (Belgium that is).
For some time now I've had problems shaking the feeling of loneliness off me. I suppose there's several reasons for that. I'm a late child in the family. Being born nine years after my sister and twelve after my brother, you could say there's a near generation gap between me and my siblings. They're in different stages of their lives as I am. Everything seems to be about their children. Same can be said about my parents who love taking up the role of grandparents. The result is that I'm somewhat left out in the family. No one really talks to me because there is little they can relate to. Often during family occasions I just sit there as garnish to the family pie. No one really needs me there, but they'll still invite me because that's the way it is supposed to be. As a result I'm feeling incredibly lonely being surrounded by the people who matter the most. No one inside the family really knows me.
As for friends, I have little close ones. There are three who come to mind. One of them left -today- for what is literally the other side of the world to go live and work there (He lost his heart to China and not surprisingly a Chinese girl short after). The second one I barely hear from these days. Maybe once a month, usually by my initiative. Ever since his dad became terminal ill, he started shelling up. Whenever I contact him, I feel like I'm just bothering him and he's rather left to himself. The last one is probably the most important still. Although he often disappears from the globe for several days. I still talk to him reasonably often. But hanging doesn't happen very often anymore ever since we stopped attending the same school. (We live about 30 miles apart or so).
I'll finish of with my love life. In my short 24 year existence I've had a handful of relationships, none of them lasted very long or had a lot of meaning. With one notable exception. I've only ever really loved this one single girl, in a very profound way. In retrospect that girl is probably the only person I truly had that sense of "connection" with. But it didn't work out as little of these things do. We broke up almost two years ago and remained friends. She's dated other people since then, so have I. Even had relationships, which was all fine in a way. But she recently met this new guy which seems to be a 2.0 version of me. And while I had learned to deal with the fact it was very unlikely me and her were ever going to be more than friends again. This guy seems to be replacing me as friend as well, and that stings.. a lot. In a way it's a relief, I think it's healthy for me that I'm going low profile with her. I'm fairly positive we'll make it as friends, since friendships like these only come along a few times in a lifetime. But knowing she's found someone she loves and cares about more than me, while I'm seriously doubting if it is even possible for me to rebuild anything like I had with her, with someone new... well, that makes me feel ... lonely.
And that's about the gist of it. I know this might come of as whiny. But I'm really not that dark hearted. I love loving life, it's just not that simple at the moment. Right now i'm holding on to goals and dreams. Convincing myself that this bleeding sensation of loneliness will disappear eventually as long as I don't let myself get carried way. It would just be a lot easier to get up in the morning if I didn't wake to the feeling of having to face the world all by myself yet another day. I'm sure a lot of you know what I'm talking about.
And that was my heart letting the proverbial fart. Thanks for having read this Mr/Misses anonymous. Feel free to PM me for some lighthearted chatter or sharing your own emotional demons, is alll good. I'll be roaming these forums until then. Peace out!
