writerchick
Active member
I found this site from searching on how to accept that I'm going to be alone forever and how to deal with the fear and pain of this.
A little about me I'm female, 41, an only child, and live in WV. I'm educated and have a decent paying job but don't like it much. I'm the girl that guys don't see. I've always been quite and an introvert.
Most of my life I believed in that bs about how someday, somehow someone will find you when the time is right. But as the years have passed by, no one has come to me. A few years ago I started a full blown effort to find a nice man. I joined many of the popular dating sites, I read books on dating, I asked people I knew about where or how to find someone. None of this worked. In all my years of online dating, I've had 3 men interested enough for dates. Two were duds and one was great but he turned out to be still living with a woman and had no desire to be with me after a year of talking and seeing each other.
I've hired consultants who all told me the same tired stuff, do more things, volunteer, join groups, travel, take classes. The last consultant basically had nothing more to say after I gave him a list of my activities. Still no one single, male, close to my age has crossed my path.
I went to counseling last year and the counselor told me I can't help you find someone. He wanted to give me coping skills, but after a month and a half of weekly visits, I wasn't anywhere with him. He just repeated everything I told him. And I had nothing to show for the sessions.
I'm active with a photography club in town and we go on outings but no male in the club is single. I volunteer with animal rescues and that's a female dominated but it is my passion. I don't like clubs or sportbars, so I don't know where else single males hang out.
I've been told by people how lucky I am to be single and that having friends is better than any partner. Although many of these people call me a friend, it's in name only. When I ask to do things with them, they always have family commitments. Now I don't even ask to do things.
As I say, I'm so scared of being alone forever. I'm falling apart on the inside because no one wants to be with me or do things with me. My own mother doesn't care. I told her that I wanted to be with someone, her reply was: Why do you want to be with someone, I don't. That was a WTF moment. A few days ago I confided in her again about being lonely and scared, she said So am I. She has no empathy for me or my problems at all.
So that's why I was trying to understand being alone forever because I don't see anyway out of the darkness
A little about me I'm female, 41, an only child, and live in WV. I'm educated and have a decent paying job but don't like it much. I'm the girl that guys don't see. I've always been quite and an introvert.
Most of my life I believed in that bs about how someday, somehow someone will find you when the time is right. But as the years have passed by, no one has come to me. A few years ago I started a full blown effort to find a nice man. I joined many of the popular dating sites, I read books on dating, I asked people I knew about where or how to find someone. None of this worked. In all my years of online dating, I've had 3 men interested enough for dates. Two were duds and one was great but he turned out to be still living with a woman and had no desire to be with me after a year of talking and seeing each other.
I've hired consultants who all told me the same tired stuff, do more things, volunteer, join groups, travel, take classes. The last consultant basically had nothing more to say after I gave him a list of my activities. Still no one single, male, close to my age has crossed my path.
I went to counseling last year and the counselor told me I can't help you find someone. He wanted to give me coping skills, but after a month and a half of weekly visits, I wasn't anywhere with him. He just repeated everything I told him. And I had nothing to show for the sessions.
I'm active with a photography club in town and we go on outings but no male in the club is single. I volunteer with animal rescues and that's a female dominated but it is my passion. I don't like clubs or sportbars, so I don't know where else single males hang out.
I've been told by people how lucky I am to be single and that having friends is better than any partner. Although many of these people call me a friend, it's in name only. When I ask to do things with them, they always have family commitments. Now I don't even ask to do things.
As I say, I'm so scared of being alone forever. I'm falling apart on the inside because no one wants to be with me or do things with me. My own mother doesn't care. I told her that I wanted to be with someone, her reply was: Why do you want to be with someone, I don't. That was a WTF moment. A few days ago I confided in her again about being lonely and scared, she said So am I. She has no empathy for me or my problems at all.
So that's why I was trying to understand being alone forever because I don't see anyway out of the darkness
