sean_sean_sean_sean
Member
I'm a new user here, and I thought I'd just post a little bit about myself to let you know a little about me.
My name - well, it's hidden in my username. If you crack the code, you will be able to determine what my real name is. This is the challenge I put to you
Well, my name is Sean, I live in Edinburgh, and I am 19 years old. I'm studying Philosophy and English Literature at Edinburgh University.
I have been almost entirely friendless for a very long time, and although things got a little better in my last year of high school (quite a few people liked me and so I got invited to parties, etc.), everything has gotten much worse since I started at university...
At the start of university, I moved into a university flat, which I shared with three other boys... each of us had a room, and there was a bathroom and a shared kitchen / living area...
But... I hardly ever spoke to anyone. I was much too scared. Often, I would turn the lights in my room out and lie in bed all afternoon/evening/night and not move until the morning, because I was too terrified to speak to anyone. I didn't want anyone to know I was there... so I wouldn't even get out of bed and walk to the other end of the room, in case they heard my footsteps. I was so scared of speaking to anyone that I couldn't go into the kitchen most of the time. This means I was hardly able to eat anything --- I seldom had a meal in the evening. I just ate bread and digestive biscuits. I woke up early as possible in the morning so that I could get breakfast and prepare lunch without needing to bump into anyone.
I went home at the weekends - Friday, Saturday, Sunday nights, and got the train back through to Edinburgh on Monday mornings. But even the four days I had to spend in the flat each week often seemed too frightening, so I would go to stay with my aunt or my grandmother (who live in the city) for some nights when the fear was just too much...
I don't even know why I was scared. The guys in my flat were perfectly nice, but... I was just scared. I couldn't possibly explain it.
I stayed in my room / walked around the city on my own for all of Freshers' Week while everyone else was having a great time partying and making friends. I was just as friendless and lonely at the end of the week than I was at the start.
I didn't make any friends in lectures/tutorials, because I was too scared to speak to anyone. In lectures I would (and still do) find a seat at the very back corner and sit on my own. I'm in second year now, and things are only getting worse...
I would say that I have pretty severe Social Anxiety Disorder...
I'm also a virgin. I've never had a girlfriend or anything like that either... it breaks my heart, not only because I wish that I had someone to love, but also because I so, so want to have a child to look after one day, and it's looking more and more unlikely every day that I'll ever have that chance... I have a little brother 10 years younger than me, and he's the best thing in my life, and I just wish I could again - later in my life - have the chance of taking care of a kid, but... oh well...
All of these problems are made worse by the fact that I'm having a horrible time with my course... not to mention that I now realise that I should have taken film studies but that it's now too late to change
Oh well, sorry if this is all very whiny or anything! I'll stop now, but... yes. Thank you! This seems like a great community - I'm glad I found it!
My name - well, it's hidden in my username. If you crack the code, you will be able to determine what my real name is. This is the challenge I put to you
Well, my name is Sean, I live in Edinburgh, and I am 19 years old. I'm studying Philosophy and English Literature at Edinburgh University.
I have been almost entirely friendless for a very long time, and although things got a little better in my last year of high school (quite a few people liked me and so I got invited to parties, etc.), everything has gotten much worse since I started at university...
At the start of university, I moved into a university flat, which I shared with three other boys... each of us had a room, and there was a bathroom and a shared kitchen / living area...
But... I hardly ever spoke to anyone. I was much too scared. Often, I would turn the lights in my room out and lie in bed all afternoon/evening/night and not move until the morning, because I was too terrified to speak to anyone. I didn't want anyone to know I was there... so I wouldn't even get out of bed and walk to the other end of the room, in case they heard my footsteps. I was so scared of speaking to anyone that I couldn't go into the kitchen most of the time. This means I was hardly able to eat anything --- I seldom had a meal in the evening. I just ate bread and digestive biscuits. I woke up early as possible in the morning so that I could get breakfast and prepare lunch without needing to bump into anyone.
I went home at the weekends - Friday, Saturday, Sunday nights, and got the train back through to Edinburgh on Monday mornings. But even the four days I had to spend in the flat each week often seemed too frightening, so I would go to stay with my aunt or my grandmother (who live in the city) for some nights when the fear was just too much...
I don't even know why I was scared. The guys in my flat were perfectly nice, but... I was just scared. I couldn't possibly explain it.
I stayed in my room / walked around the city on my own for all of Freshers' Week while everyone else was having a great time partying and making friends. I was just as friendless and lonely at the end of the week than I was at the start.
I didn't make any friends in lectures/tutorials, because I was too scared to speak to anyone. In lectures I would (and still do) find a seat at the very back corner and sit on my own. I'm in second year now, and things are only getting worse...
I would say that I have pretty severe Social Anxiety Disorder...
I'm also a virgin. I've never had a girlfriend or anything like that either... it breaks my heart, not only because I wish that I had someone to love, but also because I so, so want to have a child to look after one day, and it's looking more and more unlikely every day that I'll ever have that chance... I have a little brother 10 years younger than me, and he's the best thing in my life, and I just wish I could again - later in my life - have the chance of taking care of a kid, but... oh well...
All of these problems are made worse by the fact that I'm having a horrible time with my course... not to mention that I now realise that I should have taken film studies but that it's now too late to change
Oh well, sorry if this is all very whiny or anything! I'll stop now, but... yes. Thank you! This seems like a great community - I'm glad I found it!
