Walley
Well-known member
Hiyas,
Hello everyone, i'm glad to be here and I hope that I'm not starting off wrong by rambling too much here, or if this is the proper place to post like this..
but every now and then, when my mood is low.. I find myself surfing the net and searching out comments that reflect my feelings.
to be honest.. it usualy only brings me down further and makes me feel even more pathetic by doing so.
every once in a while I come across a place like this, that has members making comments that echoe my feelings. Well, today I desided to register, break the lurker barrier and expose myself. (somewhat)
I am a married father of 2 teenagers, and my relationship with my wife and family is good. I have no problems at home or at work.
so, you may all be wondering why am I here?? he's not alone?
well, that is a tuff question and if I could answer it completely then maybe I wouldnt need to be here lol.
Alone and lonely are 2 different things..
I suffer from social anxiety of sorts. where I always feel that friends are trying to ditch me, and that people I get to know in general don't like me. I keep people at a distance and right now in my life I would say that outside of my family.. I have no friends.
I am a highly sensative personality ( HSP) . And I sometimes sense things and events like some sort of E.S.P. which also makes me paranoid at times.
people have called me things like "farsight" or a seer because of my tendancy to read into things and events and accurately predict future outcomes.
although some aquaintences believe it could be more like self-fulfilling prophecies.
paranioa convincing me of things that arent necessarly true... which I react to and cause the very thing I fear the most to happen.
and that may also be partly true in some cases.
I have repeatedly alienated myself from groups based apon my feelings of rejection.
I really don't know sometimes if I am just too needy, or expect too much from friendships, or if I just hook up with the wrong people too often.
on the net, I am a warrior.
a forum and chatroom debator, and moderator of politcal and conspiracy forums. (skeptic)
I can debate with the best of them in forum threads as well as live chat channels.
I have a way of portraying confidence and alot of times.. i am confident.
but, when it comes to how people I want to consider friends percieve me.... i have no confidence at all.
I am also very sensative to the pain of others. if someone around me is suffering from depression I can be the best person for them to be around and I honestly want to be there for them in any and every way I can.
but then when it's my turn and I am suffering I feel like everyone stays away like i'm a contagious.
I had thought that I found a friend that could understand me and accept me, and for a long time too.. but recently she pretty much stopped talking to me due to my percieved "neediness"
so... to sum up a long rambling introduction..
here I am. for good or bad.
Hello everyone, i'm glad to be here and I hope that I'm not starting off wrong by rambling too much here, or if this is the proper place to post like this..
but every now and then, when my mood is low.. I find myself surfing the net and searching out comments that reflect my feelings.
to be honest.. it usualy only brings me down further and makes me feel even more pathetic by doing so.
every once in a while I come across a place like this, that has members making comments that echoe my feelings. Well, today I desided to register, break the lurker barrier and expose myself. (somewhat)
I am a married father of 2 teenagers, and my relationship with my wife and family is good. I have no problems at home or at work.
so, you may all be wondering why am I here?? he's not alone?
well, that is a tuff question and if I could answer it completely then maybe I wouldnt need to be here lol.
Alone and lonely are 2 different things..
I suffer from social anxiety of sorts. where I always feel that friends are trying to ditch me, and that people I get to know in general don't like me. I keep people at a distance and right now in my life I would say that outside of my family.. I have no friends.
I am a highly sensative personality ( HSP) . And I sometimes sense things and events like some sort of E.S.P. which also makes me paranoid at times.
people have called me things like "farsight" or a seer because of my tendancy to read into things and events and accurately predict future outcomes.
although some aquaintences believe it could be more like self-fulfilling prophecies.
paranioa convincing me of things that arent necessarly true... which I react to and cause the very thing I fear the most to happen.
and that may also be partly true in some cases.
I have repeatedly alienated myself from groups based apon my feelings of rejection.
I really don't know sometimes if I am just too needy, or expect too much from friendships, or if I just hook up with the wrong people too often.
on the net, I am a warrior.
a forum and chatroom debator, and moderator of politcal and conspiracy forums. (skeptic)
I can debate with the best of them in forum threads as well as live chat channels.
I have a way of portraying confidence and alot of times.. i am confident.
but, when it comes to how people I want to consider friends percieve me.... i have no confidence at all.
I am also very sensative to the pain of others. if someone around me is suffering from depression I can be the best person for them to be around and I honestly want to be there for them in any and every way I can.
but then when it's my turn and I am suffering I feel like everyone stays away like i'm a contagious.
I had thought that I found a friend that could understand me and accept me, and for a long time too.. but recently she pretty much stopped talking to me due to my percieved "neediness"
so... to sum up a long rambling introduction..
here I am. for good or bad.
