Hi everyone,
Just wanted to say hello. I'm at a stage of my life where my social circle is drastically smaller than it used to be. Currently I'm a graduate student at a major public research university. All of my former high school acquaintances have moved on with their lives, likewise with college friends from undergraduate. My main interaction on a day to day basis is with other graduate students (typically the same 5-6 people) in the research group. They are also all married/engaged and I'm the only single one out, so I listen to their stories of married life with both longing (being lonely and living on my own doesn't help matters) and amusion. I have a few close friends, but I don't see them often and mostly communicate online; but I prefer quality to quantity in friendships anyway. There are girls in the classes I take, but not surprisingly they are all taken (I mean this literally, being in a physical science field has this as a huge disadvantage since the male-female ratio is somewhere around 8:2 and the classes are small ~10-15 people).
During this process I've also moved to a large city where paradoxically it should be easy to meet new people, but I'm a bit introverted by nature and don't really open up too much unless I get to know a person better. So as a result I've been trying to combat the sometimes irrational sense of isolation I get from time to time. From experience, I don't really do well in large public venues such as bars/clubs, partially because I can't hear a thing due to the loud music, and also it isn't the most comfortable setting for me to meet people.
I would like to volunteer more (and thus meet new people), but juggling my responsibilities as a graduate student (both taking classes and TA'ing them, as well as research) means that my free time is at a premium. I look forward to eventually graduating and having free time outside of work, assuming I can find a job in the first place with the economy and all.
I recognize that it is unrealistic for someone to expect that someone else will make you happy. This merely creates an expectation that will inevitably be unfulfilled at some point. So far I have been trying to be content with myself (if I am happy with myself then everything should be okay - hypothetically speaking), but we are social creatures and I think it is natural to long for companionship, even small talk on a daily basis is better than pure isolation. I know that marriage isn't a panacea (this is why I feel that getting married just because one likes the idea of getting married is typically a bad idea), relationships can be hard work, and require a certain amount of open-mindedness, patience, understanding, and flexibility in order to succeed.
In this case I find myself in a situation where there are no easy answers when it comes to meeting new people in context of both starting a potential relationship and meeting new friends in general. The trivial solution is to be a hermit and fore-go social interaction... this isn't something I feel particularly comfortable with for reasons mentioned above. At the same time, just going out on my own (without the company of friends) and socializing is also something outside my comfort zone.
At this point I'm not sure what else to do, besides "be myself" and hope that my social situation will improve.
And thanks to those who spent the few minutes reading this rambling post, I appreciate it
.
Just wanted to say hello. I'm at a stage of my life where my social circle is drastically smaller than it used to be. Currently I'm a graduate student at a major public research university. All of my former high school acquaintances have moved on with their lives, likewise with college friends from undergraduate. My main interaction on a day to day basis is with other graduate students (typically the same 5-6 people) in the research group. They are also all married/engaged and I'm the only single one out, so I listen to their stories of married life with both longing (being lonely and living on my own doesn't help matters) and amusion. I have a few close friends, but I don't see them often and mostly communicate online; but I prefer quality to quantity in friendships anyway. There are girls in the classes I take, but not surprisingly they are all taken (I mean this literally, being in a physical science field has this as a huge disadvantage since the male-female ratio is somewhere around 8:2 and the classes are small ~10-15 people).
During this process I've also moved to a large city where paradoxically it should be easy to meet new people, but I'm a bit introverted by nature and don't really open up too much unless I get to know a person better. So as a result I've been trying to combat the sometimes irrational sense of isolation I get from time to time. From experience, I don't really do well in large public venues such as bars/clubs, partially because I can't hear a thing due to the loud music, and also it isn't the most comfortable setting for me to meet people.
I would like to volunteer more (and thus meet new people), but juggling my responsibilities as a graduate student (both taking classes and TA'ing them, as well as research) means that my free time is at a premium. I look forward to eventually graduating and having free time outside of work, assuming I can find a job in the first place with the economy and all.
I recognize that it is unrealistic for someone to expect that someone else will make you happy. This merely creates an expectation that will inevitably be unfulfilled at some point. So far I have been trying to be content with myself (if I am happy with myself then everything should be okay - hypothetically speaking), but we are social creatures and I think it is natural to long for companionship, even small talk on a daily basis is better than pure isolation. I know that marriage isn't a panacea (this is why I feel that getting married just because one likes the idea of getting married is typically a bad idea), relationships can be hard work, and require a certain amount of open-mindedness, patience, understanding, and flexibility in order to succeed.
In this case I find myself in a situation where there are no easy answers when it comes to meeting new people in context of both starting a potential relationship and meeting new friends in general. The trivial solution is to be a hermit and fore-go social interaction... this isn't something I feel particularly comfortable with for reasons mentioned above. At the same time, just going out on my own (without the company of friends) and socializing is also something outside my comfort zone.
At this point I'm not sure what else to do, besides "be myself" and hope that my social situation will improve.
And thanks to those who spent the few minutes reading this rambling post, I appreciate it
.
