How do you stop missing someone?

[Arsenic Queen]

My emotions have always been messed up. When I was young I used to think that emotions were for the weak. I've been hiding my emotions for so long now that I don't really care or react about anything anymore, even something like this.

He's being put away for continually breaking the law: drug possession, drug dealing, Grand theft auto, vandalism, violence, many things. But none of them have ever been that serious, despite what they seem. Back in December he took his parents car out for a joy ride in the early hours of the morning on the country roads, we were doing about 90Mph and then hit a sharp corner, went slightly off the road hit the side of a small bridge, rolled twice and then skidded across the road for a few meters on the roof of the car. It wouldn't have been such a big deal if the car hadn't caught fire, but It did and he got arrested.

I see. That's some serious stuff. Will he be in for long?

 

[Pezza]

My emotions have always been messed up. When I was young I used to think that emotions were for the weak. I've been hiding my emotions for so long now that I don't really care or react about anything anymore, even something like this.

He's being put away for continually breaking the law: drug possession, drug dealing, Grand theft auto, vandalism, violence, many things. But none of them have ever been that serious, despite what they seem. Back in December he took his parents car out for a joy ride in the early hours of the morning on the country roads, we were doing about 90Mph and then hit a sharp corner, went slightly off the road hit the side of a small bridge, rolled twice and then skidded across the road for a few meters on the roof of the car. It wouldn't have been such a big deal if the car hadn't caught fire, but It did and he got arrested.

I see. That's some serious stuff. Will he be in for long?

No, his foster parents pay for a really good lawyer for him so his sentence is a lot less than it should be. And when the police decided to kindly drop by my place today (despite me not having a criminal record) they said that my friend was lucky with what he got...

 

[lbstanley70]

Everyday, the hurt goes away a little bit more and then one day, you don't hurt anymore---paraphrased from the movie "Swingers". I must admit, three heart breaks under my belt and this one sums it all best. You will know when you are ready to move on

 

[Arsenic Queen]

Everyday, the hurt goes away a little bit more and then one day, you don't hurt anymore---paraphrased from the movie "Swingers". I must admit, three heart breaks under my belt and this one sums it all best. You will know when you are ready to move on

Very true.


Another good way to not miss some people too much is to not let the rest of your life be completely empty just to center on them. It's not a healthy thing to do, and even if, in the beginning, they act like it's what they want, later in the relationship they'll be thankful if you didn't let them make you do it.

 

[Okiedokes]

Everyday, the hurt goes away a little bit more and then one day, you don't hurt anymore---paraphrased from the movie "Swingers". I must admit, three heart breaks under my belt and this one sums it all best. You will know when you are ready to move on

Very true.


Another good way to not miss some people too much is to not let the rest of your life be completely empty just to center on them. It's not a healthy thing to do, and even if, in the beginning, they act like it's what they want, later in the relationship they'll be thankful if you didn't let them make you do it.

So so true.

 

[Pierce57]

Everyday, the hurt goes away a little bit more and then one day, you don't hurt anymore---paraphrased from the movie "Swingers". I must admit, three heart breaks under my belt and this one sums it all best. You will know when you are ready to move on

But what do you do if you want the pain to stop, but don't want to have to cut them off from your life?

 

[blackdot]

I don't think the pain ever goes away.

 

[Arsenic Queen]

Sometimes a separation is essential. As long as you keep being around that person, the unilateral feelings will continue and it is THESE feelings that bring your pain in. You won't necessarily need to be away from them forever, but as long as you're in love and they're not, this "friendship" will just be bad for you. You need to go away for as long as it will take you to fall completely out of love.

The fact that they don't love you should be enough to fall out of love. It's an implicit rejection. While you feel they are wonderful, even if they accept your friendship, on the romantic level, they are INDIFFERENT to you. Romantically, they don't have any opening for you, you are not special to them. It should be enough to turn you off from them.

 

[Kevj]

I think that it need not be romantic love that makes you miss a person. Sometimes, it could be friendships as well. Some of my friendships ended just like that and the reasons given by the other side was not even that much more convincing in any way, but we just end up growing from them. It is very easy to pretend that we can cut them off and then forget about them. That is by far being more cruel to ourselves than facing it and then moving on in life in the knowledge that things have changed. The pain will remain to a certain extent but your ability to handle it will improve and over time with greater self-knowledge, you will learn to be kinder to yourself and others. Forgive these people even if they do not deserve it, and forgive yourself too for having allowed that episode in your vulnerable life. Do not close the door of your heart to other worthy people because of a few hurts.

I went through a rather terrible episode in my life before. A best friend of mine came out to me years back, and obviously, he had been holding a torch for me over the years. While granted that I made it clear we were friends and that he will still remain my best friend, he took the rejection rather personally and badly and then just totally shut me out of his life for a while. I made a bold move to actually declare a period of truce where we do not contact each other but the period (one year or so)became 3 years as I became busier in my own life. Recently, although things seemed to have improved when I felt the need to re-initiate contact and to stress that we are still good friends, the realization on my own part was that my wish for the friendship to remain was still very much one-sided. Human perceptions do change, and especially when humans themselves are irrational. Most of my other buddies also feel that as much as we rank certain people high on our list of friends and loved ones for anything like a connection which is hard to find and maintain , the pain that it could cause us too must make us think twice about whether they are worth it.

 

[it-is_what_it-is]

i like to take those feelings as INTENSE workouts for my mind.

all you can really do is hope, and have faith. think positive!