How does your social anxiety make itself known?

[hazel_flagg]

Sorry if this has been asked before.

I was thinking about how I act when in (unwanted) social situations.

I have to force myself to be personable, talkative, and make eye contact. All this 'normal' is like a plate-spinning session for me, and when I'm back home, I have to take to my bed because I am completely exhausted. People are convinced I had a wonderful time, when the opposite is true.

I do notice that my hands move a LOT when I'm nervous. I look like I'm ready for take off.


Does anyone else have any little habits or behaviours that come out when you're in a social situation?

 

[Tiina63]

You sound pretty much like me-I have to strive to appear 'normal' when in social situations as well, whether wanted or unwanted and I often feel worn out afterwards. I feel like an actress who is trying desperately to please the audience.
Do you think you might be an introvert or is it largely social anxiety and shyness? Mine is a mixture of both of these with Aspergers thrown into the mix.

 

[hazel_flagg]

You sound pretty much like me-I have to strive to appear 'normal' when in social situations as well, whether wanted or unwanted and I often feel worn out afterwards. I feel like an actress who is trying desperately to please the audience.
Do you think you might be an introvert or is it largely social anxiety and shyness? Mine is a mixture of both of these with Aspergers thrown into the mix.

I think it's introversion and social anxiety mixed together. I tend to find people exhausting. And I don't mean that in a mean, insulting way. They just drain me. Even the people I like. Loneliness is also thrown in there in a nice, confusing mix.

I don't have to contend with Aspergers like you do, so I can only imagine just how wiped out you get.

 

[johnny196775]

the hands. What to do with the hands. I used to smoke for 30 years. Now my hands have nothing to do. I hate my hands.

 

[Peaches]

the first to go are my wits, if there is even a second of silence I get so embarrassed that I can't break it anymore, and that can go on for a horrible amount of time - then I smile too much, speak too fast, and also come back home exhausted and with stomach pains. That is, with people I don't know.

If I know them (and like them), then sometimes I also come back exhausted, but that's for too much excitement, it's called high sensitivity.

 

[Outcast]

I start to stutter a lot. That or I get really quiet and dont say a word.

 

[Jazzbird]

Throw logic out the window.It feels like everyone's watching me and judging me all the time.The way I move and do things is different.A little "weird" and I stutter a lot like Outcast.And the hands.. oh the hands.

 

[hazel_flagg]

Throw logic out the window.It feels like everyone's watching me and judging me all the time.The way I move and do things is different.A little "weird" and I stutter a lot like Outcast.And the hands.. oh the hands.

Ah, the stuttering. If I'm required to speak at length and I'm trying to get everything out as fast as I can, I stutter. It looks like excitement, but it's just my brain pooping itself and wanting to go home.

When I must socialise, the world feels like it's comprised of many sharp angles and every single one is jabbing me.

 

[Case]

I must say that while I still have social anxiety, I have been going to therapy for a number of years, so I don't suffer like I once did.

That being said, I can list the behaviors I had when my social anxiety was at its worst:

• Avoiding parties for fear that I will get the "Who the hell are you?" look.
• Having sudden panic attacks if I'm ever the center of attention.
• Avoiding situations which I know will make me blush.
• Preferring solitude because the pain of socialization is too great.
• Never initiating a conversation.
• Never approaching a girl.
• Never looking anyone in the eyes.
• Occasional stuttering, shaking, palm sweats, blushing, and lots of shoe gazing.

After therapy, I still don't like parties, but I will go if I know someone. I don't get panic attacks, or avoid social situations. I LOVE talking to new friends. I've also approached women, I look people in the eyes, I don't stutter, shake, or shoe gaze, but I might blush if someone says something that triggers it.

 

[VeganAtheist]

I start to touch my facial hair.
I jumble my words or have a hard time finding the words to say.
I get quiet
I avoid eye contact
If it is a social event, I will find my "spot" and stay there.
If I can't stay in my "spot" for whatever reason, I find a "safe" person to hang around.

 

[hazel_flagg]

I start to touch my facial hair.
I jumble my words or have a hard time finding the words to say.
I get quiet
I avoid eye contact
If it is a social event, I will find my "spot" and stay there.
If I can't stay in my "spot" for whatever reason, I find a "safe" person to hang around.

I do those too. Not the facial hair, but finding a 'safe' person or a 'spot' if I arrive somewhere alone.

 

[Cucuboth]

I wonder what to do with my hands as well. And if I'm standing too close to anyone. Or too far away. Should I make eye contact? How much? Is this too much?!? Argh, they don't like it when I make eye contact! I worry that my voice will crack, or come out as a whisper when I talk. What's the right thing to say? Or I say something and comes out as a mumble, or I pronounce something wrong, even my own name. I'll get lost in my own thoughts too much. I worry that I will trip over something ... a step, a corner of a rug, a chair or table leg, or even my own feet ... and then I inevitably will stumble on something anyway.

 

[JupiterMoon]

Hi Hazel,

depends on the situation but if I'm feeling anxious or unsure of myself i usually go quiet and dont say a word. It happens in class, in groups or work functions where judge myself too harshly in comparison to other people. I look at them and think "yep, theyre all perfect and good looking and well dressed and successful etc etc" and I negatively compare my self to them. I often brush at my clothes, touch my face obsessively and I go bright red lol. I HATE most social events where I'm not in control and I try to avoid them at all costs because those insecurities lead to depression/anger.
Great question btw

 

[MentalDiscomfort]

People tell me I'm a very open, social and happy person. I have no problems talking to people, being nice and acting like a normal person, but it's not me, and even tho I mange it just fine mentally, my body reacts different. Usually when I spend a day out with friends and become this person fit for society, I start feeling warm, dehydrated and I lose my appetite. Some times I also ended up sick, having to lay in bed a day after. I'm not sure what it was, but it felt like the stress of just being out there socializing slowly gave me fever. I could never go out and have fun two days in a row because of this, it became too much. But this summer I decided to start being out a lot more often and I'm feeling a lot better now. Tho I still prefer sitting home, because here I won't be stressed all the time.