L
lone_cowboy
Guest
15 long years...
anyone wanna try to break my record?
anyone wanna try to break my record?
Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
J
justme
Guest
Girl Friend: never (24 years)
Friends: Well they have been decreasing steadily from the beginnig high school. Of those (~10) friends i have 1 left, and since then i made 1 new friend But neither of them is very close to me, i mean i can't talk to then about my problems, like loneliness.
That sums me up. Even though i have the 2 friends that i see occasionally, i still feel alone almost all the time.
Friends: Well they have been decreasing steadily from the beginnig high school. Of those (~10) friends i have 1 left, and since then i made 1 new friend
But neither of them is very close to me, i mean i can't talk to then about my problems, like loneliness.That sums me up. Even though i have the 2 friends that i see occasionally, i still feel alone almost all the time.
R
Robin
Guest
justme said:
Can You do so with anyone here? Just were a little surprised You didn't mention anyone You could do so with! If You ever want to chat in private about precisely anything on Your mind or in Your heart i'm one of the people who'd gladly do so with You, Justme.
L
Lost_N_Alone
Guest
Ever since I was a child I longed for someone who I could really talk to and who understood me. Someone who would accept me as I am and be able to relate even just a little to some of the difficult times I had. I've had girlfriends in the past, but they weren't very nice people and didn't really care about me. I've had and have people who I refer to as friends, but who really don't know me and who I would never tell anything personal. In one way or another I've been lonely most of my life.
T
tony30
Guest
Too long by far.
Ever since my days in senior school I began to detect subtle differences about my general outlook and behavior to that of my peers. At the time, it didn't really set any alarm bells ringing. I was quite popular amongst the girls in my class and although there were attempts by some of the lads to bully and intimidate me I dealt with them handily because it was nothing I hadn't seen before at home.
In my third year, my parents divorced and although I had begun to detest my Dad with an almost palpable venom, when it was announced that he was moving out I was devastated. He may have been a part-time alchee, but he always held down a job and put simply - he was the man of the house, and I needed the security of his presence. It took me a long time to digest this piece of information and eventually my reaction was to swallow a bottle of pills. My goal was not suicide, it was an indirect statement of how I felt about the dismembering of my family circle. There is no need for me to wallow in the messy details involved because in due course I recovered but the entire episode cast upon me a sense of abiding shame that I have never been able to rid myself of. Out of all the things I have typed here that is probably the most profound revelation you will ever get from me. To this day, I have never spoken directly on the issue with anyone - if I had to look someone in the eye and tell them what I'm telling you lot, I would break down in tears.
That was an important step (not the only one though) into my eventual slide into social obscurity because it triggered an almost pathological requirement for dense, self-analysis . One thing I must make very clear though is that I refuse to blame my parents for the way I have become. If my dad had remained a member of the household things would inevitably have come to a head maybe in even more of a dramatic fashion. Nor do I blame myself, I have never done anything so unpleasant or so strange that it would be deserving of feeling like an outcast. In my case there, is no scapegoat, it's just one of those things.
There isn't any underlying message in my words I suppose like the other myriad of trapped thoughts swirling around in my black-hole of a brain, I just want someone to hear what I have to say.
Best wishes folks.
P.S I know that was all a bit me, me, me. For that I freely put my hand up and confess to being a mite selfish this evening, but that isn't my exclusive state of mind.
Ever since my days in senior school I began to detect subtle differences about my general outlook and behavior to that of my peers. At the time, it didn't really set any alarm bells ringing. I was quite popular amongst the girls in my class and although there were attempts by some of the lads to bully and intimidate me I dealt with them handily because it was nothing I hadn't seen before at home.
In my third year, my parents divorced and although I had begun to detest my Dad with an almost palpable venom, when it was announced that he was moving out I was devastated. He may have been a part-time alchee, but he always held down a job and put simply - he was the man of the house, and I needed the security of his presence. It took me a long time to digest this piece of information and eventually my reaction was to swallow a bottle of pills. My goal was not suicide, it was an indirect statement of how I felt about the dismembering of my family circle. There is no need for me to wallow in the messy details involved because in due course I recovered but the entire episode cast upon me a sense of abiding shame that I have never been able to rid myself of. Out of all the things I have typed here that is probably the most profound revelation you will ever get from me. To this day, I have never spoken directly on the issue with anyone - if I had to look someone in the eye and tell them what I'm telling you lot, I would break down in tears.
That was an important step (not the only one though) into my eventual slide into social obscurity because it triggered an almost pathological requirement for dense, self-analysis . One thing I must make very clear though is that I refuse to blame my parents for the way I have become. If my dad had remained a member of the household things would inevitably have come to a head maybe in even more of a dramatic fashion. Nor do I blame myself, I have never done anything so unpleasant or so strange that it would be deserving of feeling like an outcast. In my case there, is no scapegoat, it's just one of those things.
There isn't any underlying message in my words I suppose like the other myriad of trapped thoughts swirling around in my black-hole of a brain, I just want someone to hear what I have to say.
Best wishes folks.
P.S I know that was all a bit me, me, me. For that I freely put my hand up and confess to being a mite selfish this evening, but that isn't my exclusive state of mind.
A
askal
Guest
For as long as I lived.
23 years... fuckin 23 years.
But to make this thread a little more "fun"...
Age 0-7: I was one of the "bright kids" in school. Teachers constantly praised me and said I'd be the future hope or something like that...
Age 8-12: Bullied alot in school. Because I was a "nerd" and was a skinny kid.
Age 13-17: Suicidal feelings and self-harm attempts kicked in.
Age 18-20: Lost. Broken. Awake but lifeless.
Age 21: Hmmm... something is wrong.
Age 21-present: Constant modernization and improvement of my way of thought. I may not be able to change my environment but I will be able to change the way I deal with it.
23 years... fuckin 23 years.
But to make this thread a little more "fun"...
Age 0-7: I was one of the "bright kids" in school. Teachers constantly praised me and said I'd be the future hope or something like that...
Age 8-12: Bullied alot in school. Because I was a "nerd" and was a skinny kid.
Age 13-17: Suicidal feelings and self-harm attempts kicked in.
Age 18-20: Lost. Broken. Awake but lifeless.
Age 21: Hmmm... something is wrong.
Age 21-present: Constant modernization and improvement of my way of thought. I may not be able to change my environment but I will be able to change the way I deal with it.
T
tony30
Guest
What is it that they say?.........ah, that's it. "once you have lost everything you are free to do anything". Maybe there is a sub-text of enlightenment buried in amongst the ruin of ones well being. It's a nightmare feeling ostricized and reaching into yourself and trying to extract the truth of why this has come to be, is an excruciatingly difficult thing to do. Modernization and improvment of thought are quaint concepts but they are also masquarades - they do not change the essance of who or what a person really is. All I've ever wanted from other people is love, respect and affection and all I've ever wanted to give in return are the same things and possibly some laughter to boot. However these things, in my experiance, are the stuff of fantasy because when ever I look in the mirror I know that the man facing me is weird (not normal, mal-adjusted, wanting for engaging personality etc, and what taunts me even more is that I am not an especially bad looking bloke, lol - I am no George Cloony either mind) but being able to admit that to myself and others not only fills me with relief it actually gives me a great deal of respect for myself.
If someone could show me a way to be 'normal', I would jump to the moon and back if it meant their advice would work but for now all I can do is accept reality with good grace and pray for a miracle.
Just an opinion.
If someone could show me a way to be 'normal', I would jump to the moon and back if it meant their advice would work but for now all I can do is accept reality with good grace and pray for a miracle.
Just an opinion.
A
alexp
Guest
27 years of lonliness... 28 soon. i just live on... i don't know what will happen next. but atleast i still live on. abeit a lonesome life....
L
lone_cowboy
Guest
Robin said:
i've read some of your posts.
you always lend a helping hand (or advice) to some of the folks here that needs help.
you always give encouragement.
you're not one of us, and yet you spend some of your time here to help us out.
its an "HONOR" to have you around... personally, im glad you are here.
you try to help us in your own way, i hope you keep up the good work.
im sure you hear this a lot... THANK YOU!
R
Robin
Guest
lone_cowboy said:i've read some of your posts.
you always lend a helping hand (or advice) to some of the folks here that needs help.
you always give encouragement.
you're not one of us, and yet you spend some of your time here to help us out.
its an "HONOR" to have you around... personally, im glad you are here.
you try to help us in your own way, i hope you keep up the good work.
im sure you hear this a lot... THANK YOU!
Just one in the crowd.
Helping people is the best feeling in the world (after love ) and trying to do all You can here is nothing out of the ordinary for more than me. We're here because we feel good when we help. Most people here are going through the same horrible period as i did once upon a time and i intend to give the (especially) worst cases here the starting treatment they need, which i never got. I get a smile on my face every time i see that the member count has risen and that some more souls made it here and are about to get some much needed advice from the great folks all over this board.Reading things like that which You wrote is far from necessary to continue the fight against loneliness and depression, but it's also far from being just another comment; it's the unneeded boost of ultimate wellbeing! The honor is mine; opening my heart is the best thing i've ever done.
I'm still open for pen-palling, to all who read this! Just start with sending a PM to me and we'll talk about anything You want to make You feel better.
W
Wave Shock
Guest
To which there is no reason to beat a record...
4 years...which also corresponds with my 4 years of high school.
As of relationships, I've yet to be in one.
4 years...which also corresponds with my 4 years of high school.
As of relationships, I've yet to be in one.
H
husky
Guest
i think i've been lonely since forever. my mom doesn't know how to love me. my dad didn't know how to love me. i've never been able to show them how to love me.. and i never knew how to love them. i don't even love my sister. i guess when you start off very badly in a loveless and clueless environment, it's near impossible to recover through life. of course there was love, but it was so misguided and left in the dark.
socialy i'm an outcast. i'm from an immigrated family.. instead of having two cultures, i ended up having no cultural identity at all. it's very lonely being part of nothing.. even knowing i'm part of everything. it's miserable not having brothers and sisters that cook you warm meals and give back rubs; i'm just another pretend lonewolf. sigh.
socialy i'm an outcast. i'm from an immigrated family.. instead of having two cultures, i ended up having no cultural identity at all. it's very lonely being part of nothing.. even knowing i'm part of everything. it's miserable not having brothers and sisters that cook you warm meals and give back rubs; i'm just another pretend lonewolf. sigh.
