How to talk to a girl / Icebreaking

[alonenow]

I have been wondering about this for a long time now. After having recovered from an anxiety disorder that I had for years, I am now normal and I seriously want to have a girlfriend. Now there are girls around some times, but my tongue is tied when it comes to asking them out for a cup of coffee even.

How do you talk to a strange girl ? I mean I just can't walk up to one and ask her if she will marry me ?

I feel very awkward around girls, I suppose it is because I talked to very few people while I had anxiety problems.

If anyone lols at this I'll understand. I lol at myself sometimes

 

[sierra]

I wouldn't laugh at you. Just be yourself and go up and say hi. It's ok to be a little nervous too because a lot of people are. Just try to relax. Most people don't bite, sure some will seem disinterested but you have to just keep trying.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

In my experince...all the long term relationships or just the kissing N hugging type...is pretty much straight up from the get go....
Yes...you pretty much go up her ..Introduce yourself N ask her out..
Right off the bat...youre taking urself out of the friendzone when you do his..Then its clear for both parties that the relationship is centered around romance.

None of the getting to know a woman as a freind first nevered materialized for me.

I know how to become a womans friend...I have plenty of female firends..this is were some women get confused about guys like me and said all I want is sex when Im looking for a lover.

So yeah in a way you gatta let her know you want her body...Her mind and soul is attached to her body..so dont trip.lol

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Im also a flirt...Its a skill I had to accquired and practice.
Its still simple exposure.
The more I practice @ it..the more mistakes I made..but I also got better @ it....

Screw all that guilt bullshit of people thinking ur a dugchbag..Fucken people like that just sit back N watch. Its relatively easy to sit back N comment all fucken daylong. Oops I mean judge

A relationship will work in the same manner...its not always going to be perfect..So the more your expose and experince you gain from many mistakes you made N leearned from..the better you will become in a relations.

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Embrace your anxieties and fears..welcome when your approching women...The more you expose ur fears or bring it up...feel it with all your might but take actions inspite of it the more you will overcome your fears. COURAGE IS NOT ABSENT OF FEARS.. Were always going to have fears..its built into us as a survival
instink...Throwing yourself outhere and taking a risk will take you out of your comfortzone
It'll actually turn into excitement if you dont run....a little perseverance will actually hurdle you onto the other side.
Face Everything And Recover...
or..fresia everything and run.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Its not so much what I say to women. Its how I say it...Most of the time when im in my firlting mode...Im easy going, relaxed and with a sense of humar..light hearted...
Sometimes almost like a goofball.
I can laugh @ myself and sometimes the women will laugh with me...not @ me. Then its just repore..then she can also laugh @ herself and I laugh with her. What this dose is it triggers good feelings she has...and she associate me her good feelings. It puts out a good vibe ..plus she will feel shes not being judge...which will open more doors....then she will actually start talking to me about other stuff and 90% of the time Im just listening to her. Most people wants to be heard or listened to...
Then sheLL either touch me slightly or make body contact with me. Which is an invitations for me to touch her back.If Im relaxed its not a big deal if I touch her.
Some of my female firneds lets me play with her hands and hair all the time or lean her shoulder into mine..
They helping me feel comfortible filrting..

 

[MrBurns]

I have been wondering about this for a long time now. After having recovered from an anxiety disorder that I had for years, I am now normal and I seriously want to have a girlfriend. Now there are girls around some times, but my tongue is tied when it comes to asking them out for a cup of coffee even.

How do you talk to a strange girl ? I mean I just can't walk up to one and ask her if she will marry me ?

I feel very awkward around girls, I suppose it is because I talked to very few people while I had anxiety problems.

If anyone lols at this I'll understand. I lol at myself sometimes

If you are nervous have a bit of brandy with warm water before you go and talk to the girl. Your nerves will go, old trick my grandad taught me when i was a tiny lad.

 

[RNT]

I understand what you mean, I been wanted to have a girlfriend for a long time too now. Even more now a friend of mine has a girlfriend. Even my family was saying things like So you have a girlfriend ?.

Do they understand how awkward that is. And my uncle was even trying to make it worse by saying. O girls like shy guys you know they think its a challenge. :/

Either way there is this girl at my work who works at the counter and I really like her, But its hard to socialize with her cause she works at the other site of the store. But with all the rare conversations we had, I think she likes me too though. Atleast I hope.

But yeah Valentines coming up and I was having some sort of bet with myself that i atleast should have a girlfriend at the age of eighteen, But I dont really see that happening now. Its hard, for some guys its comes easy but for me not so.

 

[Poueff]

Do you know if she has a boyfriend? If she doesn't and you haven't put yourself in the friend zone yet,go at her and ask her out. Simple as that.

In bars/pubs/clubs you just need to go to them and say like "Hey,it-s the first time I see you here,do you come here often?"

And depending on her answer you either act like you know everyone there or act like you're a total newby in the zone. Either way you can get her/receive a walk around the bar and that's a talk project on itself.

My big big problem is when girls are in a group with all the shits and giggles... that-s exacly there where I can't do honeysuckle

 

[Brian]

My Captain put it best, discussing a different topic, but... there's a hundred ways to get to Wal Mart.

I'm by no means any kind of Don Juan, but I've broken the ice by chatting up service employees (sandwhich chefs, taco bell employees) a couple of time. Just making some sort of comment and moving beyond "Heres my money" "Heres your food" and "Bye". Or they've asked me something and it goes from there.

Grocery cashiers are easy too, they're a little chattier when things are slow (go at night for practice). Crack a joke and see what you can do. Tonight, my coworker and I went to buy dinner stuff. We were looking at yogurts and there was a stock girl there doing something. I told my partner a certain yogurt was good and we kind of jokingly argued, so I asked her if she thought it was good. She said she'd never had it...I told her she should tell my partner it was good anyway. I didn't push any further but she was smiling. This is where you can use a buddy to help. Actually, I've noticed that if you joke around with a buddy and 'bounce' off each other in front of girls in a situation like this, they seem to loosen up and be more receptive than if you were to just talk to them. I think it's because instead of putting them on the spot, they're seeing you from a more 3rd person perspective and deciding they like it. But, I've never pursued any of it. I dunno, maybe it's the uniform.

Two years ago she wouldn't have been smiling because I had zero confidence in myself. It's not that they can sense it, it's just that we -show- it. No matter how hard you hide it, it leaks out like a cracked bucket. Looks wise I'm no different. Maybe slightly more muscular. Make sure you have a good foundation poured before you build a house on it.

 

[alonenow]

Thank you for replying.

sierra - Most people are nervous, yeah, but my problem is compounded by the fact that I did not talk to anyone for years. Except for essential conversation, I totally withdrew into myself. I am talking to people now though, maybe with some practice I can talk to gals.

Lonesome crow - I'll consider myself lucky if only a single girl went out to coffee with me. Only thing is I am scared I'll propose marriage to her. Yes, I am that desperate for marriage. Just want a family of my own.

Mr. Burns - I'll down a few Breezers before trying it.

RNT - Yeah I totally understand you and I am 36 years old. Poueff has good advice. Down some Breezers and talk to her

Brian - I am talking fine to guys here. In fact I am talking too much. It feels that the mind wants to compensate for all those years I did not.

Thanks guys. Your support means a lot.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I understand where ur coming from.
After Jenni Died I withdrew from life.
Isolated myself from the world for almost 2 yrs. My mind and body adjsuted to it...Plus I had narley cabin fever.lol
Its was terriable...Just being around other human made me wanna vommit.
With the encouarge of people from this site. I slowly beging the process of just leaving my fucken house N going outside...baby steps.
I remember returning back to work...I would want to vommit even when me secutary and office manager would talk to me..Those ladies help me too.
They would come to my desk everyday and flirt with me..Let me play with their hamds or give me a little fashion show and ask me how they look...They too also knew Jenni. My office manger knew I was very much in love with Jenni.
I also started attending support groups again...yeap . I sat in my little conner and wanted to vommit @ the beging of that stage too.

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Things happens for reasons I guess.
I also change jobs...to a less paying job.. I was just a cashier sitting in a booth all day. It was a blessing in disguides...I got to interact with people face to face all day long..
People from all walks of life..
So yeah..like Brain siad...I just started chit chatting with people ..practiced @ it making small talks or whatever.
Gruadually I started flirting with some of the custommers.lol
I know a couple of ladies comes in on purpose.lol They know I think theyre sexy..They flirt back

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I sometimes wonder if I should pick up some PUA materials. I am 28 and have no experience with the opposite sex. This gets lonely sometimes, but it's like girls are an alien species; I can relate to them as friends, but not as (girl)friends.

 

[Katie]

Being a girl I see men as incredibly frustrating. Most are pigs and constantly are hitting on me and I can tell they are only looking for one thing.

My advice to you is to treat women with respect and approach them with a conversation without sex on your mind. I know that men that do that to me ALWAYS get my attention.

Katie