I am the problem, and it needs to start with me

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Been thinking about what Vanilla and others have said on here, and it's true. I am the problem.

I may or may not be attractive, I may or may not be outgoing, etc. But embracing who I am, and accepting who I am, is the key to finding someone who will love me for who I am.

Thanks to those on here who have made me realize this.

 

[starStreak]

I'm glad you realized this. I'm glad that others have helped you. I can't say that I understand your situation entirely, but I was in a situation (and am partially still in) where I felt like I needed to appease others. I needed to appeal to them. Only recently have started to realize that my identity is more important than having others like me for someone I'm not. And those who do appreciate me for who I am, deserve the best from me.

Please keep us updated.

 

[kamya]

I also realize that I am the problem. I've always been pretty accepting of myself until the last year or so. I used to be pretty secure until I ran into a few chains of rejection. The only thing is no one that is close enough to know me well enough is willing to tell me what exactly my problem is. What inevitably turns me away from the people that I like. And they will get angry at me just for asking, like I'm trying to get pity from them or something when all I really want are some answers. fresia pity. fresia guilt. I don't want people to feel that. No matter how many times I ask they always reassure me that I'm perfectly fine. It sucks.

I've been really angry and pissed off these past few months because of things like this. Wondering why no one can accept and love me. Almost everything I post nowadays is full of misguided anger. I don't even post half the things I write up because of how full of anger and frustration they can be. I don't want those kinds of things on ALL. I hope things work out better for you and you do find someone.

I'm starting to think fwb might be a better alternative to me. Much less of a chance to fail and be rejected for me. If trends continue this way for a few more years I'm afraid my romantic side is going to die altogether.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Well at least your problems are not genetic like mine... so I am the problem and it cannot be fixed.

 

[whispers]

I remember in college, a girl in my class was not very nice looking, turns out she became the most popular girl in class... she was so confident, outgoing, funny, honest, generous. Everyone was attracted to her.
I was just a ball of darkness back then, but she tought me to be myself and shine. When you shine with all of your light, people cannot resist but to want to be with you or to be like you ( shine also)

BTW afrozensoul, please dont use the genetics as an excuse, just be all that you can be, not be what sociaty labels as great. Because sometimes one person with differences will be the best thing that can happen in someones life. I have a genetic problem too, chemical imbalance in the brain. not letting it stop me. Give it a try

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@whispers: Well when all you are is a pile of crap. You cannot do more than stink and take up space. It is just a fact, call it an excuse if you want, but it is a fact. No sense in fighting it.

 

[whispers]

@whispers: Well when all you are is a pile of crap. You cannot do more than stink and take up space. It is just a fact, call it an excuse if you want, but it is a fact. No sense in fighting it.

Well obviously you are not a pile off crap in my eyes and in the eyes of many people here. I always liked your posts, so i hope someday you will see yourself the way i see you. There is something special about you. There are so many posters and members here, only a few grab my attention, you are one of them.

 

[ShybutHi]

I think it is true. You MUST appeal to yourself aswell and NOT just to others. I personally am a VERY analytical person and I used to never appeal to myself ever... totally selfless. So much so that I think about literally everything before I say or do it because I never want to make any kind of mistake infront of others. It means I am hesitant, anxious and I run through scenario's in my head over and over which causes me to become unsure... It is a mistake in itself.

I feel like I am being judged 100% of the time too. I AM being judged 100% of the time... But not from others.

It is me who is judging me.
The only way to be free from the prison is to let go of the bars.

Embrace what is around you and try to enjoy it. If someone has a problem with you then they are not worth knowing.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@whispers: Thanks, but I think that is only because I am basically a troll on here. Even if that is not the case. I am more capable of using my brain I guess. That does not mean much though.

 

[suckaG]

"And all the things that put you out, are really things that you should not think twice about. don't you know you're your own worst enemy, and it's not ok to resign yourself to that." -Everything All The Time

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Act as if yiure loved already. Feel as if you're
loved already. Act is if you arrived already.
Feel as if you received everything out of life
already....

Yes, it sounds corny...but its a very coomon
living tools people use to turn their lives around.

Youre feelings comes from within.
Posituve internal dialog.

Yes...acceptence and sieze fighting
Myself...LET GO.

Yes, all thise posituve self talk. Positive
Affirmations...sounds corney...
But its a common living tools poeple
Use to change themselves and their lives.
Oneday at a time. An hour at a tine.
I nade a recirding of positve affirmations
if myself. I just the suggestion of a book.