I don't know what the hell's wrong with me.

[Mr Messy]

I don't really know why I signed up here, because I don't even know what to post. So sorry if this thread's disjointed.

I'm 19 years old, and I don't really like the way I look. I'm not really attractive, but some girls have apparently liked me before. This one girl liked me who could hardly even speak English (foreign exchange student), so I guess it must have been my looks? I don't know, ha. lol.

A girl in high school said I was really attractive. But then a lot of guys in high school said I was ugly. Wtf? Who do I believe?

I've never had a girlfriend before, mainly due to bad luck, I guess. It seems as though every time I nearly get a girlfriend, I fresia it up somehow. My life could be a sitcom, ha. The biggest example would probably be, I was invited to have sex with this girl, but I couldn't make it because the train broke down.

I kind of feel like I SHOULDN'T be a loser, even though I am. My entire life has been nothing but bad luck, and... "weirdness".

I also don't know what my personality is. I seem to act different to every single person in my life. Because of this, some people think I'm the meanest guy ever, some people think I'm the cutest guy ever, some people think I'm the dumbest guy ever, some people think I'm the smartest guy ever, etc etc. I don't even know what my true self is.

I really do feel like I'll never get a girlfriend, or have a good group of friends, because of my bad luck. I always fresia things up somehow. And I can't control it.

 

[Badjedidude]

Here's a clue: The guys from high school most likely told you you're ugly because they could see that it bugged you. *shrug* That's just how high school is, lol.

Is it really necessary to have a true self? I don't know about that so much...it depends on how you view it. Either people are constructed by their reactions with those surrounding them (think rocks wearing against each other in a stream)...OR people inherently have a "set" self that they may or may not find, which determines how they interact with others (think of a diamond being used to cut metal).

I don't really agree with either of those views. I think that people just ARE. So it's entirely possible that you may feel or act mean sometimes, you may feel or act dumb sometimes, you may feel or act smart sometimes...

...but all of those are still you. Do you have to pick one? lol I would argue not.

At any rate, welcome to the site. I'm sure you'll meet a few people here who you can talk to!

----Steve

 

[ColaFree]

This is kinda of an old cliché but: Those highschool guys... They are probably just jealous. OR they might have picked you up as a rival male, invading their mating grounds, and therefore try to psyche you out by being mean. Humans are animals after all.

As for the girlfriend thing: I hear you. I can relate to most of what you are saying, except the train thing. I would get so mad if that happened

Well for the personality thing I kinda have to agree with Steve. You are you! And by the looks of it, you have a wonderful ability to adapt to the people around you! And that isn't a bad thing. Well IMO anyways

Hope things workout for you! Especially on the girlfriend front, as I can really relate to that *sniff*.

 

[Porman]

We create our own luck...

If you want to attract people, all you need to do is make them feel good. People try and act cool to impress people, but what you need to do is make THEM feel cool.

How can you not like someone that makes you feel good about yourself?
Having said that, Im not good at making people feel good about themselves :S

 

[Badjedidude]

I disagree. Trying to please others to make them your friends just makes you a sell-out and a people-pleasing arse-kisser. Don't do that.

Just be yourself and enjoy your own life. People gravitate toward those who are confident and content with themselves. No one wants to hang around a patsy butt-kisser. (Well, I don't anyway. )

IMHO the best kind of friends to have are those who don't need you to make them feel good, and possibly even resent you for trying. (All average friendly courtesies aside, of course)

----Steve

 

[bookbinder]

A girl in high school said I was really attractive. But then a lot of guys in high school said I was ugly. Wtf? Who do I believe?
...
I also don't know what my personality is. I seem to act different to every single person in my life. Because of this, some people think I'm the meanest guy ever, some people think I'm the cutest guy ever, some people think I'm the dumbest guy ever, some people think I'm the smartest guy ever, etc etc. I don't even know what my true self is.

What's wrong with you is that you're using the opinions of others to determine who you are.

People are always going to have conflicting opinions on pretty much everything. When it comes to how you view yourself, you should be the only person looking in the mirror.