Madrigal
Member
I am incredibly anxious and scarily awkward in person. I have no trouble functioning online, or even our voice chat. But the moment I have to look at people's eyes, I feel like I'm suffocating. I can't hold down a job for longer than 6 or 7 month blocks without having anxiety attacks that gradually increase (also due to health reasons.) I always feel like i get along with people, but then I meet them in person and I completely freeze up and make excuses to leave.
I've been like this for basically my whole adult life. The moment I graduated high school, I stopped going out with people unless I didn't have a choice. I work online now, and took college online, and all my friends are online. I'm happy with my life, but i also kind of feel like I'm damaged? All of my friends want to come see me because we live in the same tristate area, but I keep avoiding it. Sometimes it makes me feel really lonely. It's weird, because I have someone I can talk to almost 24/7. But my anxiety, I feel, keeps me from making a real connection with anyone.
I was wondering if anyone else here experiences that kind of crushing social anxiety, where you function fine until you have to see people. Even in my own apartment, I still feel the need to escape when people visit.