Sam_Wright_1988
Member
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2011
- Messages
- 19
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Hi everyone!
I have a question concerning dating because I don't get it.
First of all, I haven't been in a relationship for five years. Nor did I make love, did I kiss a girl, whatever. By now, I am twenty-five!
Second of all, and this took me years to figure out: I am a nice guy! I am genuinely kind and I also happen to look good. Everyone kept saying I was nice and I finally figured, I am. And life isn't so bad after all: I study at a university and I'll go to the art academy next year as well. I sort of do what I want to do. Oh, on my last date I got told I was an intriguing person. And apparently I look and smell great but maybe she was just flirting with me .
Third of all, I don't have a lot going for me in my opinion. My life is a bit dull because I have been extremely anxious the last few years. I worried a lot and I was my own worst enemy. Lonely, confused and embarrassed. For no good reason it seems. I have few friends and I tend to read, a lot. Occasionally I play a video game. I draw and write as well. I enjoy being on myself but I sometimes go out. I actually have a favourite bar.
But I still feel too little is happening in my life. I now also understand that I can change that.
I have started dating, the first thing I wanted to change . It's not that I am scared any more but I tend to hold back. Like I said, I don't believe I have a lot to offer. I am also a little confused as to how to go about it: when to kiss? How can I tell whether she is flirting with me? Friends I go out- which is rarely, mind you -tell me 'she likes me' but then I don't know what to do because I do everything I can, in my opinion. But I am the guy so I am sure I am supposed to show initiative.
When I flirt, I believe it's obvious. I have no trouble touching, making funny/ witty remarks but the sad thing is, I never move past that stage! I keep doing this until... nothing ever happens.
Yesterday I had a wonderful date but again, I don't get it. She was beautiful, we have been 'trying' to flirt for a while and I asked her out. That went reasonably well. Then things got awkward fast, but we did have a very intimate conversation that went on... forever and ever. I felt comfortable in her company, I hope she felt comfortable as well. Why do I have to make things so awkward? It's true that I don't let people in. I am fine with that though. Not everyone is a fast and smooth talker.
I had a hard time complementing her despite my thoughts. I guess that might have something to do with it. I really try but isn't there supposed to be some chemistry? Well there was but...
I don't get it. Can anyone give me some practical advice? I have thought this through and thinking is not the answer, obviously. Maybe I am just not open to a relationship but that means I'll be lonely for the rest of my life, probably. And I don't want to go down that road either.
Sam
I have a question concerning dating because I don't get it.
First of all, I haven't been in a relationship for five years. Nor did I make love, did I kiss a girl, whatever. By now, I am twenty-five!
Second of all, and this took me years to figure out: I am a nice guy! I am genuinely kind and I also happen to look good. Everyone kept saying I was nice and I finally figured, I am. And life isn't so bad after all: I study at a university and I'll go to the art academy next year as well. I sort of do what I want to do. Oh, on my last date I got told I was an intriguing person. And apparently I look and smell great but maybe she was just flirting with me .
Third of all, I don't have a lot going for me in my opinion. My life is a bit dull because I have been extremely anxious the last few years. I worried a lot and I was my own worst enemy. Lonely, confused and embarrassed. For no good reason it seems. I have few friends and I tend to read, a lot. Occasionally I play a video game. I draw and write as well. I enjoy being on myself but I sometimes go out. I actually have a favourite bar.
But I still feel too little is happening in my life. I now also understand that I can change that.
I have started dating, the first thing I wanted to change . It's not that I am scared any more but I tend to hold back. Like I said, I don't believe I have a lot to offer. I am also a little confused as to how to go about it: when to kiss? How can I tell whether she is flirting with me? Friends I go out- which is rarely, mind you -tell me 'she likes me' but then I don't know what to do because I do everything I can, in my opinion. But I am the guy so I am sure I am supposed to show initiative.
When I flirt, I believe it's obvious. I have no trouble touching, making funny/ witty remarks but the sad thing is, I never move past that stage! I keep doing this until... nothing ever happens.
Yesterday I had a wonderful date but again, I don't get it. She was beautiful, we have been 'trying' to flirt for a while and I asked her out. That went reasonably well. Then things got awkward fast, but we did have a very intimate conversation that went on... forever and ever. I felt comfortable in her company, I hope she felt comfortable as well. Why do I have to make things so awkward? It's true that I don't let people in. I am fine with that though. Not everyone is a fast and smooth talker.
I had a hard time complementing her despite my thoughts. I guess that might have something to do with it. I really try but isn't there supposed to be some chemistry? Well there was but...
I don't get it. Can anyone give me some practical advice? I have thought this through and thinking is not the answer, obviously. Maybe I am just not open to a relationship but that means I'll be lonely for the rest of my life, probably. And I don't want to go down that road either.
Sam