I know what makes people popular!

[illi]

I had an epiphany about 30 minutes ago and it suddenly occurred to me what makes some people popular - it's that those people are socially manipulative. These people focus everything they do on how it will be viewed by other people. This extends to how they dress, how they speak, what they say, what they do, what furniture they have, what music they like - EVERYTHING! Their entire personality is constructed to match what they think others want it to be.

Ask one of the most popular people you know their opinion on something. If they're extremely socially intelligent, they might be able to pick up based on your tone of voice and body language how you feel about it, then use that to match their opinion to yours. Otherwise, they'll probably say, "I don't know... I haven't really thought about it," then ask you for your opinion and end up agreeing with you. That's right, they don't just base their opinion on what they think people want it to be but their opinion will actually CHANGE based on who they are talking to! And if there's a conversation about a topic, they'll likely just stay out of it or say they don't know how they feel about it.

I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out, but "socially intelligent" is simply a nice way of saying "a manipulative person who happens to be good at reading others and using it to their advantage."

And before anyone says that this is just envy, think about the very popular people you've known; chances are, I just described them perfectly.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I think that manipulative is too strong a word. "Socially adaptive," or "socially accommodating" perhaps.

"Manipulative" makes it sound as if they're deceitfully taking things from other people or that they have a hidden agenda. If they're popular and people genuinely like them, and they like others, then manipulation doesn't come into play.

That's right, they don't just base their opinion on what they think people want it to be but their opinion will actually CHANGE based on who they are talking to!

I don't think that this is true of the majority of "popular people" at all. I'd say that it's true of a user, though. I don't think that the two types are necessarily the same.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

iT'S the bleech in thier hair

See...Barbara

You have it the Chameleon eyes as a foundation...
Add the chameleon hair.
Top it off with a chameleon personality
Waalaaa...the perfect woman.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

iT'S the bleech in thier hair

See...Barbara

You have it the Chameleon eyes as a foundation...
Add the chameleon hair.
Top it off with a chameleon personality
Waalaaa...the perfect woman.

Har-dee-har-har.

Some people say "chameleon personality" = "moody ***** from hell."

 

[EveWasFramed]

I must disagree with this as well.

 

[darkwall]

Most of the popular people I know who managed to stay popular did it through being themselves. Of course a high social intelligence often comes into it, but there's a difference between being manipulative and being aware.

 

[illi]

Perhaps manipulative was too strong a word. However, I think "being themselves" doesn't actually mean anything, because "themselves" could be exactly what I described, which could be what "high social intelligence" actually means.

I've never seen a particularly popular person who had an unusual sense of style, any kind of noticeable quirk, or interesting opinions (that they didn't keep hidden).

 

[Get Down!]

i think you started the whole thing wrong
Popular people actually don't really need to be manipulative (or anything similar to that) and the least of their concerns is to agree with everyone and to be careful to say what others want to hear.
That are the perks of being popular actually - you don't need to please everybody. It has a lot to do with self confidence too. You'll probably need it in order to become popular. And when you get there, you'll probably retain your confidence .. ergo.. you'll speak for yourself.

 

[Papabear]

Most of the truly popular people I know were also the people closest to achieving originality, rarely were they ever manipulative or fake, in fact most of them werent even concerned with something like that.

 

[jhonmartin]

Hi Everyone..

According to me, People are become popular because of their work or their contribution.
Its also depend on how peoples are thinking about that person.

 

[hellopanda]

Well, while you're view is a bit extreme, you have essentially grasped the essence of popularity as someone who can ride the opinions of the masses. The ability to act like they care about crap is usually how they reach the popular stage. Of course, I won't say this is true of everyone up there, but a lot of it is indeed image control.