Hey guys I havent posted in a little bit and things for me havent improved. Im asking where I should go and what I should do. I want to die and I can feel my courage growing stronger the longer I try to cope. I have always been able to rely on my own cowardice to prevent suicide but I feel like Im almost strong enough, I thought of a foolproof way, the only way to stop me would be to lock me up and I dont want to be imprisioned and forced to endure when I dont feel like I can.
I've ruined everything I tried. I dont know if I just cant take being happy and I must destroy everything to prevent it or if I really am this bad at life. Until a few months ago I was confident I could make it and until I let myself trust someone and was once again betrayed. I know I am too nice and too trusting but I dont know how to be any different. I have to plan a class reunion and not only do I not have a clue what I am doing but I am so ashamed of what my life is I dont think I can face anyone.
This is most definately a cry for help. My family cant help all they do is deliver the same bullcrap about keep your chin up tomorrow will be better. Will I have to be doped up just to make it? Is there any hope for someone so lost as me? Thanks for listening to yet another whiny post from a hopeless loser.
I've ruined everything I tried. I dont know if I just cant take being happy and I must destroy everything to prevent it or if I really am this bad at life. Until a few months ago I was confident I could make it and until I let myself trust someone and was once again betrayed. I know I am too nice and too trusting but I dont know how to be any different. I have to plan a class reunion and not only do I not have a clue what I am doing but I am so ashamed of what my life is I dont think I can face anyone.
This is most definately a cry for help. My family cant help all they do is deliver the same bullcrap about keep your chin up tomorrow will be better. Will I have to be doped up just to make it? Is there any hope for someone so lost as me? Thanks for listening to yet another whiny post from a hopeless loser.