I really want a relationship.

[ForeverAlone92]

I am lonely, depressed, unhappy, and suicidal. I am just tired of being single. The one and only girl I ever loved went back with her ex after I won her from him only for her to break up with him and get back 3 months later. I really fell for her, but I am past that it was 2 years ago. She used me, I was her playful poet who wrote her letters and wrote her poems. Now I haven't had a girlfriend in 8 years. All the girls I like or i am attracted I hear that I am not her type, or they just dont like me. Girls that like me I dont like. I am really lonely. I am a sensitive guy age 20. I am ashamed i have 20+ registrations in dating sites, also I am a virgin. Gay dudes always chat me up complementing me on how handsome I am, they cannot believe me when I tell them that I have never had sex and that I havent had a relationship. When I starting thinking about my loneliness my depression and how people around me, have girlfriends and have slept with so many women, I cry. Maybe it is my insecurity because I have a small penis, because it is really important in the USA. ;( If I was beautiful I would of had a girlfriend. I just don't think it is right that guys have to make the first move what if you are shy, and not confident like me? Dont judge me please.

 

[Seosa]

I'm not gonna judge, because I want the same. You'll find someone, keep the faith, as patronising as that sounds.

 

[theraab]

I am lonely, depressed, unhappy, and suicidal. I am just tired of being single. The one and only girl I ever loved went back with her ex after I won her from him only for her to break up with him and get back 3 months later. I really fell for her, but I am past that it was 2 years ago. She used me, I was her playful poet who wrote her letters and wrote her poems. Now I haven't had a girlfriend in 8 years. All the girls I like or i am attracted I hear that I am not her type, or they just dont like me. Girls that like me I dont like. I am really lonely. I am a sensitive guy age 20. I am ashamed i have 20+ registrations in dating sites, also I am a virgin. Gay dudes always chat me up complementing me on how handsome I am, they cannot believe me when I tell them that I have never had sex and that I havent had a relationship. When I starting thinking about my loneliness my depression and how people around me, have girlfriends and have slept with so many women, I cry. Maybe it is my insecurity because I have a small penis, because it is really important in the USA. ;( If I was beautiful I would of had a girlfriend. I just don't think it is right that guys have to make the first move what if you are shy, and not confident like me? Dont judge me please.

I'm not going to judge you, but being depressed and suicidal is not going to help you land a girlfriend. Think of it this way, who wants to date someone who is down all the time?

And, it may not be right that men have to make the first move, but that is the way it is. Sorry.

 

[bulmabriefs144]

I'm not going to judge you, but being depressed and suicidal is not going to help you land a girlfriend. Think of it this way, who wants to date someone who is down all the time?

And, it may not be right that men have to make the first move, but that is the way it is. Sorry.

Kinda a vicious cycle there. Being lonely and depressed, makes the opposite sex avoid you, making you even more lonely and depressed.

 

[ForeverAlone92]

I am only depressed and suicidal because i havent had a relationship in 8 years.

I am lonely, depressed, unhappy, and suicidal. I am just tired of being single. The one and only girl I ever loved went back with her ex after I won her from him only for her to break up with him and get back 3 months later. I really fell for her, but I am past that it was 2 years ago. She used me, I was her playful poet who wrote her letters and wrote her poems. Now I haven't had a girlfriend in 8 years. All the girls I like or i am attracted I hear that I am not her type, or they just dont like me. Girls that like me I dont like. I am really lonely. I am a sensitive guy age 20. I am ashamed i have 20+ registrations in dating sites, also I am a virgin. Gay dudes always chat me up complementing me on how handsome I am, they cannot believe me when I tell them that I have never had sex and that I havent had a relationship. When I starting thinking about my loneliness my depression and how people around me, have girlfriends and have slept with so many women, I cry. Maybe it is my insecurity because I have a small penis, because it is really important in the USA. ;( If I was beautiful I would of had a girlfriend. I just don't think it is right that guys have to make the first move what if you are shy, and not confident like me? Dont judge me please.

I'm not going to judge you, but being depressed and suicidal is not going to help you land a girlfriend. Think of it this way, who wants to date someone who is down all the time?

And, it may not be right that men have to make the first move, but that is the way it is. Sorry.

 

[Barbaloot]

Some people on this site have never had a relationship. And you are only 20, you have quite a lot of years ahead of you to meet someone.

 

[Lost Drifter]

This is going to sound harsh but you’re only 20; why on earth do you feel the need to rush so much at such a young age? I mean not having had a girlfriend for eight years is nothing, a vast majority of people don’t even start having relationships until they hit eighteen or nineteen (and even then calling them serious relationships is a far stretch of the imagination) so please don’t think you’ve missed out or have failed in any way. If anything you sound perfectly normal.

It also sounds like you have self-esteem issues, again that’s not an insult and many of us on here (myself included) struggle with the same thing but please don’t think a relationship will instantly fix that. Never ever think a relationship is a cure for anything. I’d say work on your confidence a bit more, work on being you, letting go of the past and feeling comfortable with who you are, put the relationship idea aside for a moment because once you feel better about yourself it shows and you’ll be attracting people in no time at all.

Don’t be so hard on yourself, we are all our own worst judges and that is never a good thing.

 

[Cucuboth]

Self-esteem is, as it sounds, about the self. The individual. Nobody else can really tell someone how they can improve their self-esteem. Everyone has different things that effect their self-esteem. If someone wants to be in relationship, it's not really the right of anyone else to tell them that they don't. Or shouldn't. As soon as you start to tell someone how or why they should think or feel something, your taking the self out of self-esteem, and essentially making it 'because I tell you to'-esteem.

But it is a vicious cycle. I'm depressed largely because i'm lonely. They only way to lift the depression is to not be, or at least feel less, lonely. Nobody wants to be with me because I'm depressed, which just makes me feel more lonely, and thus, more depressed. No activity or hobby, study or work or volunteering, lifts the depression because everything I do, I have to do alone. Even if it's in a group, i still end up being the one that has to do it alone. When I cry out for help, i'm told that I have to do it alone. The very thing that's making me depressed. Medication doesn't work, because it doesn't help the loneliness. Therapists give up, because they can't help make the loneliness go away. There's no support or encouragement from friends or family, one of the most important aspects of recovery from depression. Simply being able to go out to a movie, or to a meal, to have someone to share activities with, would make the WORLD of difference.

Sorry. I guess my own frustrations have over come me in this ....

 

[OnlyMe]

All the girls I like or i am attracted I hear that I am not her type, or they just dont like me. Girls that like me I dont like.

Out of curiosity why don't you like the girls that like you?

 

[Lost Drifter]

If someone wants to be in relationship, it's not really the right of anyone else to tell them that they don't. Or shouldn't.

I can sort of agree with that, I certainly understand the point about not allowing others to dictate your feelings or actions and if a having a relationship will help then by all means you have every right to pursue one. However relationships involve two people (or three if you swing that way) and the biggest problem I see with people wanting a relationship to solve their problems is that it’s pretty much all about themselves. That doesn’t mean anyone is being selfish, far from it, but could perhaps warrant some extra thought in what they both want from a relationship and what they’re able to give to it. It’s a two-way process that often gets overlooked.

There is a big difference in needing someone for occasional support and depending on someone to survive. Not only is that putting immense pressure on your partner but denying you (and by you I mean anyone) the opportunity to deal with your own issues. In effect a relationship almost becomes a placebo and a sham, is that truly the sort of relationship anyone would want in life? I could be very wrong here but the way I see it is that if you’re feeling depressed before a relationship then there is a good chance you’ll carry that with you and continue to be depressed while in the relationship and dare I say it but afterwards too. That’s just not fair for anyone.

ForeverAlone92 if you’re reading this thread could you just check in with us as we’re concerned about you.

 

[Cucuboth]

If someone wants to be in relationship, it's not really the right of anyone else to tell them that they don't. Or shouldn't.

I can sort of agree with that, I certainly understand the point about not allowing others to dictate your feelings or actions and if a having a relationship will help then by all means you have every right to pursue one. However relationships involve two people (or three if you swing that way) and the biggest problem I see with people wanting a relationship to solve their problems is that it’s pretty much all about themselves. That doesn’t mean anyone is being selfish, far from it, but could perhaps warrant some extra thought in what they both want from a relationship and what they’re able to give to it. It’s a two-way process that often gets overlooked.

There is a big difference in needing someone for occasional support and depending on someone to survive. Not only is that putting immense pressure on your partner but denying you (and by you I mean anyone) the opportunity to deal with your own issues. In effect a relationship almost becomes a placebo and a sham, is that truly the sort of relationship anyone would want in life? I could be very wrong here but the way I see it is that if you’re feeling depressed before a relationship then there is a good chance you’ll carry that with you and continue to be depressed while in the relationship and dare I say it but afterwards too. That’s just not fair for anyone.

ForeverAlone92 if you’re reading this thread could you just check in with us as we’re concerned about you.

Of course a relationship isn't going to be a magic potion that solves everything. Relationships are hard work. A hell of a lot of hard work. But if your lonely a relationship ... and the right kind of understanding relationship ... can at least remove that particular cause of depressed feelings. It can give your self-esteem a boost ... hey, someone else actually does like me ... and the effects of affectionate human contact are quite important to our emotional and mental states. And that there is someone in the world who wants you, who you can give support and encouragement too as well. When you feel better about yourself, your in a better position to tackle other problems, and possibly other causes of depression.

If you try and find a relationship where one person is completly selfless, they give and recieve nothing in return, your in for a very, very, long search. In the end, most people are in a relationship because, at some level, they want the companionship, support, and encouragement of another person. In other words, at some level, no matter how minuscule, they feel a certain degree of loneliness.

 

[Drew88]

I'm sorry, but when you do it just going to raise new issues that will just replace the current issues you have.

 

[i feel unloved]

Hi, My name is Laycie. Im really sorry about everything. Have you found someone yet? I'd really like to get to know you better. I am pretty lonely myself. Would you like to give it a try?

I am lonely, depressed, unhappy, and suicidal. I am just tired of being single. The one and only girl I ever loved went back with her ex after I won her from him only for her to break up with him and get back 3 months later. I really fell for her, but I am past that it was 2 years ago. She used me, I was her playful poet who wrote her letters and wrote her poems. Now I haven't had a girlfriend in 8 years. All the girls I like or i am attracted I hear that I am not her type, or they just dont like me. Girls that like me I dont like. I am really lonely. I am a sensitive guy age 20. I am ashamed i have 20+ registrations in dating sites, also I am a virgin. Gay dudes always chat me up complementing me on how handsome I am, they cannot believe me when I tell them that I have never had sex and that I havent had a relationship. When I starting thinking about my loneliness my depression and how people around me, have girlfriends and have slept with so many women, I cry. Maybe it is my insecurity because I have a small penis, because it is really important in the USA. ;( If I was beautiful I would of had a girlfriend. I just don't think it is right that guys have to make the first move what if you are shy, and not confident like me? Dont judge me please.

 

[blackdot]

I am lonely, depressed, unhappy, and suicidal. I am just tired of being single.

You found the right spot to post then as we are a lonely group of people.

All the girls I like or i am attracted I hear that I am not her type, or they just dont like me. Girls that like me I dont like. I am really lonely.

I know the feeling. For me, the women I am attracted to do not want to date me while the women that are attracted to me don't want to date me.

I am a sensitive guy age 20. ... they cannot believe me when I tell them that I have never had sex and that I haven't had a relationship.

Look at the bright side. You are only 20. If they bug you, tell them at least you aren't like this 39 year old guy who hasn't slept with anyone.

 

[Edward W]

ForeverAlone92 - Not sure if you are still around as this was posted last year, but probably applies to lots of people here as well.

Just my 2 cents.

1. People are right, you are still only 20, so don't feel you have to rush through life by 21, it's a long (hopefully!) journey, and who knows where you'll be in 10, 20 maybe 30 years.

2. Don't panic about being a virgin, I can empathise, when I was young it seemed a big thing, I think it is for most guys I think (more than the womenz???). I was about your age when I lost mine, guess what happened the next day? Nothing, didn't really change anything, apart from me worrying about it I guess. I doubt that will actually stop you thinking about it, but bear it in mind.

3. Your Penis. Well, and the ladies can correct me if I'm wrong, but there are lots of ways women can enjoy sex and your penis is just one of them, and maybe (whisper it!) it 's not always the most satisfying <all the guys cry out in horror!>. We all worry about something, every guy wishes they had a bigger one, the ladies probably want bigger boobs or something. Funny thing is, apart from making yourself feel more secure, it's all really to please the opposite sex who would appreciate it. Hmm, found that thought interesting myself.

4. Well thats it, but suicide is not the answer, I heard something on TV that everyone thinks about it at least once, but you never know what might happen tomorrow. I started something this morning I hope to share with everyone soon that reflects this thought...

Good luck, let your brightness shine......

 

[Alonewith2cats]

Simply being able to go out to a movie, or to a meal, to have someone to share activities with, would make the WORLD of difference.

It's amazing how little it takes. Yet, therapists give up and others can't help us when after we're advised to find joy "within ourselves" prior to seeking connections with others just doesn't work. It's true that nobody wants to be around depressed, lonely people but the thing is I don't act depressed and lonely when with others. I cry when I'm alone, as soon as I have company, I snap out of my depression. But that's me. So the question to the OP is "Can you bring positive energy to a relationship?" Are you going to be in good spirits when you find someone or will the depression continue and bring your potential mate down?

To the OP: I do have to agree that 20 is a very young age so don't give up. You have your whole life ahead of you.

 

[Drew88]

The more you want one, the more out of reach it gets.