I feel lonely. Valentine's day is coming and I have no one to share it with. There are guys in my life but I know they dont care about me they just want to get in my pants. I want someone that will apreciate me , care about me and put the effort to make me happy. I've dated before but it just left me dissapointed in the end. I feel like giving up on love and afraid I will never find someone for me.
I want a guy that really cares about me
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totallyexhausted
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sweetviki said:
oh man... valentine's day... don't even start with me. it's my most hated holiday cuz i've been single all my life! new years is another one i hate, cuz i either spend time with ppl i don't like or i sit at home feeling all sorry for myself cuz i have no one to spend time with! this year, i sat in front of my computer for 6 hours watching http://newyears.earthcam.com/ts/. it's pathetic!! the whole world was having a blast while i was at home crying myself to bed before the clock even hit midnight where i live.
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joeynicdao
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sweetviki said:
You shouldn't give up on love because you're still young, you're beautiful (did an e-mail search on you on myspace), and you have a good heart that sincerely wants to find love more than many girls here. It takes time but it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. You could meet someone special on Valentine's Day, the day after it, or on any other day of the year and sometimes we end up having to go through all the wrong people in order to find the right one. Future jobs, travel, or something else unexpected could take you to a new place where you could meet new and different people. Both of my parents switched countries before finding each other. Even before finding a date, I want you to make Valentine's Day your day. You're too kind-hearted to let it pass you by and you're just as deserving of a special day and if it turns out that you have nothing to do on that day and have free time, you could come online and chat with me if you want and I'll try to cheer you up and make Valentine's Day special for you as a friend.
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No One
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A lot of the time, a lot of guys just want to get into our pants. They'll then disappear quite happily.
mimizu
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Ok... no offense to you. Your message just seemed kinda egotistic to me... like a person who wants a lot for themselves while having no intention to give anything. High expectations and little to offer... except the ol' poon of course. But then, why should you be surprised that all they want is to get in your pants?sweetviki said:
See what I mean now... ?
If you want a guy that will care about you, then like everything in life, you should act like a caring loving girlfriend to him... if you think that sex alone will suffice to "keep him", then you will only meet guys who want just sex. A guy who wants emotional closeness will seek a girl with the same mindset... things like mutual compassion, trust, forgiveness... it's rare these days.
More generally... this is a complex subject where I have little experience.
On the one hand you have the dead ideals... trust, loyalty, faithfulness, compassion, understanding. On the other hand you have to think what to do to keep yourself from being hurt in this world.
"Real love" is really tempting, but I think almost unattainable... only a few lucky people can find someone they can really connect with... and trust.
(I think) most people choose to close their hearts because that way they won't feel hurt, which would be inevitable if they trusted.
My personal advice to you... what I've noticed about humans is that a lot of them emulate what they seek. You are probably a nice and compassionate girl (despite the first impression you made on me)... so your "ideal love" is like that.. emotional closeness is important to you.
This is probably because you have been hurt in your life, and aren't as individualistic and thick-skinned as most people. So you should seek a boy of the same kind... someone who is hurt and lonely and longs for true love...
I'm not someone that just wants to offer sex and then in return want a guy thats realy gonna care about me. I know that sex is not a way to 'keep' a guy and if thats all you offer then yeah it's not gonna go well Yeah people have changed it's hard to find trusworthy , kind and compassionate people but it shouldnt mean I have to settle and there is nothing wrong with me wanting those things. I dont think it makes me selfish to want someone who cares about me it doesnt mean I will just take it for granted and not care about him. I have my flaws but I'm a good person. I've dated before but I've guess I've dated the wrong people for me and I just want someone that is right for me. It doesnt make me egotistical and it doesnt mean that all I have to offer is sex. You say my ideals are dead but me thinking exactly thesame is what lead me to be hurt in the first place. Thinking oh there is no more good people anymore so why bother trying to find someone like that is what lead to dating some very wrong guys in my life. There is bad and good in every one it;s just sometimes hard to find the one you can realy connect with. The world is different today but every person deep down wants someone they can trust its just hard to open yourself up to that bc many times oyu get hurt.
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iny_75
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sweetviki said:
u know wt u r really sweet and if u dont mind could we be friends pm me ......
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VengeanceBurning
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Ya know, I used to have ideals. I used to believe it was proper to stand when a woman entered the room if you were sitting, or that you should hold a door for a woman, even if she isn't your lover. That you should be gentle with a woman, always tell her she is beautiful, even when she isn't wearing make up. Most of all, I used to believe that you should treasure a woman, and provide for her, and make her feel as though she is the water you drink and the food you eat, and that without her, you'd be nothing. I used to believe all that.
I was a fool.
I'm not saying I was a fool for being this way with woman, I am a fool for believing in love. You want the truth Sweetviki? Love is a monster, a T-rex that devours everything in it's path because it's never full. It will eat everything you have, your friends, your family, your self esteem, your hopes, your dreams, and finally your very will. Then when there is nothing left, it stomps off to find more food, leaving you with nothing, absolutly nothing.
It's funny, there is an organism that acts the same way. Ya know, use's up everything there is to offer, then when it destroy's it, it moves on. It's called a Virus. That's love alright, a disease.
Don't believe me? Then look around Sweetviki, look at all the members of this forum, of any lonely forum, or personals. It's full of people who are alone and depressed, who are victim's of the disease. Night after night, checking there emails, hoping someone cares, hoping to find the reason they exist, hoping to starve off the pain just a little longer. Love did it to them, even those who never experienced it, just the desire for it is enough to infect them.
No one cares Sweetviki, your right, all they want is whats in your pants. The majority of the men on this planet don't view you as a human or a woman, as someone to love and respect, they view you as meat, you mean as much to them as a cow does. But maybe you'll find a guy to treat you good, for awhile, then you'll get married and eventually the love will grow cold. You won't have sex often, and when you do you'll both be thinking of other people. You'll envy other couples who you think have a better relationship then you. Then you'll either get a divorce and hate each other but be forced to see each other because of joint custody of the kids, or you'll stay married because your used to the other person, kinda like a baby is used to a binky. But you'll both desire other people all the time, maybe even succumb a few times.
Just ask any married person. See how madly in love they are after a few years of wedded bliss.
That's love Sweetviki, that's the disease that you suffer from. But there is good news, your young, which means you can recover. You can be cured. My advice, just satisfy your urges and be happy with that. Don't expect anything, take what you need and move on. You'll be better off for it, trust me. If your an attractive girl, then the world is yours for the taking, play the game, use what you have, and you'll never have to worry about anything. You don't need love, hate is better, it fuels you, gives you purpose, strength. Embrace that and there is nothing you cannot achive, you'll have mastered true power. And once you have power, you'll have understanding. Then you'll know that love is a worthless and foolish pursuit and that the only thing that matters is power. It's what this world is all about, and your a fool if you think otherwise.
I was a fool.
I'm not saying I was a fool for being this way with woman, I am a fool for believing in love. You want the truth Sweetviki? Love is a monster, a T-rex that devours everything in it's path because it's never full. It will eat everything you have, your friends, your family, your self esteem, your hopes, your dreams, and finally your very will. Then when there is nothing left, it stomps off to find more food, leaving you with nothing, absolutly nothing.
It's funny, there is an organism that acts the same way. Ya know, use's up everything there is to offer, then when it destroy's it, it moves on. It's called a Virus. That's love alright, a disease.
Don't believe me? Then look around Sweetviki, look at all the members of this forum, of any lonely forum, or personals. It's full of people who are alone and depressed, who are victim's of the disease. Night after night, checking there emails, hoping someone cares, hoping to find the reason they exist, hoping to starve off the pain just a little longer. Love did it to them, even those who never experienced it, just the desire for it is enough to infect them.
No one cares Sweetviki, your right, all they want is whats in your pants. The majority of the men on this planet don't view you as a human or a woman, as someone to love and respect, they view you as meat, you mean as much to them as a cow does. But maybe you'll find a guy to treat you good, for awhile, then you'll get married and eventually the love will grow cold. You won't have sex often, and when you do you'll both be thinking of other people. You'll envy other couples who you think have a better relationship then you. Then you'll either get a divorce and hate each other but be forced to see each other because of joint custody of the kids, or you'll stay married because your used to the other person, kinda like a baby is used to a binky. But you'll both desire other people all the time, maybe even succumb a few times.
Just ask any married person. See how madly in love they are after a few years of wedded bliss.
That's love Sweetviki, that's the disease that you suffer from. But there is good news, your young, which means you can recover. You can be cured. My advice, just satisfy your urges and be happy with that. Don't expect anything, take what you need and move on. You'll be better off for it, trust me. If your an attractive girl, then the world is yours for the taking, play the game, use what you have, and you'll never have to worry about anything. You don't need love, hate is better, it fuels you, gives you purpose, strength. Embrace that and there is nothing you cannot achive, you'll have mastered true power. And once you have power, you'll have understanding. Then you'll know that love is a worthless and foolish pursuit and that the only thing that matters is power. It's what this world is all about, and your a fool if you think otherwise.
L
lonelygirl
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Rift, you are very creative. And a great writer! I beg to differ, though. REAL LOVE doesn't eat you alive. That is passion, sexual attraction, infatuation, and/or obsession. OBSESSION will eat you alive and possibly destroy your life.
Real love is based on TRUST, emotional vulnerability, and being able to be 100 percent honest with your partner, knowing that he or she is faithful to you.
Rift, Hatred leads only to the grave. It wastes our time, energy, strength, and destroys us. I should know. I've been nearly destroyed by hatred and anger!
Hatred is the thief. Forgiveness (Possibly the hardest thing in human history) heals and restores.
I'm not being a hypocrite since I don't think I have forgiven those who have wronged me. I used to keep an enemies list like Nixon, of all those who have messed me over, or organizations that I think are destroying society.
I have A LOT of baggage, you can see it when you see my big fat body! I'm literally carrying my baggage around with me. I can't hide it. No wonder I don't have any friends--everyone can see I'm a headcase!
Real love is based on TRUST, emotional vulnerability, and being able to be 100 percent honest with your partner, knowing that he or she is faithful to you.
Rift, Hatred leads only to the grave. It wastes our time, energy, strength, and destroys us. I should know. I've been nearly destroyed by hatred and anger!
Hatred is the thief. Forgiveness (Possibly the hardest thing in human history) heals and restores.
I'm not being a hypocrite since I don't think I have forgiven those who have wronged me. I used to keep an enemies list like Nixon, of all those who have messed me over, or organizations that I think are destroying society.
I have A LOT of baggage, you can see it when you see my big fat body! I'm literally carrying my baggage around with me. I can't hide it. No wonder I don't have any friends--everyone can see I'm a headcase!
mimizu
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This is an attitude held by many men. One of the things that I hate so much in society is the "cult of woman". Actually women are just people, humans. Plain humans. They don't deserve any kind of worship, and they don't deserve any more respect than a man does.VengeanceBurning said:
A woman who thinks she deserves more respect, or more comfort, or some legal privileges simply for being female is a morally abhorrent person. She is a supremacist.
All humans have an equal value. Being female doesn't make you better. Just like being white doesn't make you better.
Actually, the majority of them are like you. They worship women as if they are heavenly goddesses. I don't know why, I don't see anything divine in them. They are just humans, who swear, insult, hurt others, lie, steal, kill, swindle. I haven't noticed any particular "politeness" or "gentleness" in women more than men. Both are as aggressive and egoistic. Most humans seek to harm others to raise their self esteem. This is true for both males and females. I see no reason to venerate the female.
A person is good or bad because of their actions, not because of their genitals.
Of course all of this to you is empty words. Your mind can never be changed. It's the same as talking to a brick wall. Same with sweetviki.
She will continue thinking that she is god's gift to the world just because she has a vagina, and you will continue worshipping her for it.
mimizu
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Hey, but you are female, so you are a GODDESS. Don't you find solace in that? Look in the mirror carefuly, lonelygirl. Don't you see your divinity? You are infinitely superior to every male on this planet! Their only purpose is to fulfill your every desire and kiss your feet. (According to Rift, that is.)lonelygirl said:Rift, you are very creative. And a great writer! I beg to differ, though. REAL LOVE doesn't eat you alive. That is passion, sexual attraction, infatuation, and/or obsession. OBSESSION will eat you alive and possibly destroy your life.
Real love is based on TRUST, emotional vulnerability, and being able to be 100 percent honest with your partner, knowing that he or she is faithful to you.
Rift, Hatred leads only to the grave. It wastes our time, energy, strength, and destroys us. I should know. I've been nearly destroyed by hatred and anger!
Hatred is the thief. Forgiveness (Possibly the hardest thing in human history) heals and restores.
I'm not being a hypocrite since I don't think I have forgiven those who have wronged me. I used to keep an enemies list like Nixon, of all those who have messed me over, or organizations that I think are destroying society.
I have A LOT of baggage, you can see it when you see my big fat body! I'm literally carrying my baggage around with me. I can't hide it. No wonder I don't have any friends--everyone can see I'm a headcase!
Just look in the mirror... and you will see... how wonderful and majestic you are.
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VengeanceBurning
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Mimizu, your an interesting person. I think some of your advice is useful, but I think the other is designed to hurt. The interesting part is, I believe it's designed to hurt women. I think you have a kong sized chip on your shoulder towards them, and that's fine, as I am sour on the subject myself, but I do know how to pick my battles. People like Lonelygirl, who seem like genuinely good people aren't your enemy. You've been so keen to label her a bad person since she began offering advice and I don't know why, as all her advice was kind. She hasn't even written you back to argue with you. If you disagree with her, that's fine, but don't pick on her for it.
I think your a smart person Mimizu but I think you hurt as much as anyone here, you just chose to deny yourself that pain by projecting it, by coming off so sure. Your just like my ex in many ways.
Just my two cents. Don't take this as an attack on you, as it isn't, just an observation. I could care less either way.
I think your a smart person Mimizu but I think you hurt as much as anyone here, you just chose to deny yourself that pain by projecting it, by coming off so sure. Your just like my ex in many ways.
Just my two cents. Don't take this as an attack on you, as it isn't, just an observation. I could care less either way.
mimizu
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Actually I just don't think that gender should be a variable in evaluating a person. How much a person should be respected, or trusted, or how "good" they are, doesn't depend on their gender.
For example (for the purposes of this example, all people on the bus are 20 to 30 years old, healthy, and non-pregnant), many men stand up to give up their seat on a bus for a woman if she doesn't have one. Would you? (I assume so.) Would you see me as "rude" if I didn't?
Your line of thinking would be "wow that guy must really hate women, he didn't offer his seat to a lady". But try to think for a little bit.... It only seems hateful to you because that's the standard you have set for yourself. If we replace the woman in question with a man, would it still be rude to not give up my seat for him? Of course not... because then we are equal... So why should I give my seat to a woman? Do her legs hurt more? Does she deserve to sit more than me?
lonelygirl: I apologize. I was under the impression of what Rift wrote. But you didn't actually write anything like that on your own. I'm sorry for taking out my hurt on you...
For example (for the purposes of this example, all people on the bus are 20 to 30 years old, healthy, and non-pregnant), many men stand up to give up their seat on a bus for a woman if she doesn't have one. Would you? (I assume so.) Would you see me as "rude" if I didn't?
Your line of thinking would be "wow that guy must really hate women, he didn't offer his seat to a lady". But try to think for a little bit.... It only seems hateful to you because that's the standard you have set for yourself. If we replace the woman in question with a man, would it still be rude to not give up my seat for him? Of course not... because then we are equal... So why should I give my seat to a woman? Do her legs hurt more? Does she deserve to sit more than me?
There are no genuinely good people. People will be nice to you as long as it's useful to them.
lonelygirl: I apologize. I was under the impression of what Rift wrote. But you didn't actually write anything like that on your own. I'm sorry for taking out my hurt on you...
"She will continue thinking that she is god's gift to the world just because she has a vagina, and you will continue worshipping her for it."
Mimizu,
First of all how did you get the impression that I want people to worship me? I dont think I'm better or worse than any other perosn on this planet and I was simply confinding about my dissapointments when it comes to guys and relationships. I dont think men are better then women or that women are better then men. We are all equal and we all make mistakes but it is clear to that alot of people here have on this forum suffered alot of disapointment and rejecion from the world and yes that includes me . Unfortunently some just became bitter and trying to take it out on others. I didnt write what I wrote to say that all men are ******** and only want women for sex I didnt mean to give that impression.
Mimizu,
First of all how did you get the impression that I want people to worship me? I dont think I'm better or worse than any other perosn on this planet and I was simply confinding about my dissapointments when it comes to guys and relationships. I dont think men are better then women or that women are better then men. We are all equal and we all make mistakes but it is clear to that alot of people here have on this forum suffered alot of disapointment and rejecion from the world and yes that includes me . Unfortunently some just became bitter and trying to take it out on others. I didnt write what I wrote to say that all men are ******** and only want women for sex I didnt mean to give that impression.
L
lonelygirl
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Hmm this is an interesting thread. Mimizu, I do think that it's the right thing to do to give a pregnant woman a seat. NOT because she's somehow superior to men. Because it's exhausting to pregnant. I know, I've been there! You are carrying another human being in your body and you should be cared for by other human beings in a decent society. In a good society, we care for the weak, the pregnant, the ill, the young, and the old. We don't allow them to be harmed. We circle our wagons against evil and try to protect our brothers and sisters.
I don't think I'm divine. I think I'm a woman. A human. As I mentioned about being quite fat, I've suffered A LOT of rejection, pain, and humiliation in my life, and ridicule. even to the point of physical abuse by school mates. So I suppose I know a bit what's its like to be a guy--because I've suffered being beat up, though I was a girl!
I don't think I'm divine. I think I'm a woman. A human. As I mentioned about being quite fat, I've suffered A LOT of rejection, pain, and humiliation in my life, and ridicule. even to the point of physical abuse by school mates. So I suppose I know a bit what's its like to be a guy--because I've suffered being beat up, though I was a girl!
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Blue_Eyed_Symphony
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Same here but it is all a ******* joke.
