If comunication itself is the issue...

[wolfshadow]

Last night, I made my second excursion into the chat facility and found it a very difficult experience to negotiate my way through. Before this starts sounding derogatory,allow me to say that every single person I spoke to aquitted themselves extremely well so to anyone who hasn't used the chatroom, consider that an unreserved endorsement.
No, the struggle of which I speak is of self expression. It's very disheartening to know in advance that your conversational skillset (or lack thereof) will fail you. It's not a matter of if but rather of when, that that awful moment arrives when it finally dawns on the recipeint of your ramblings that you are not as intruiging, clever or engaging as their preconceptions may have told.
A long time ago, I visited a child psycologist (my sister found this a near endless source of amusement until she found herelf having to follow a pescription of anti depressants lol) and was informed that although I was fairly advanced in many respects, I was sorely lacking in what he referred to as "verbal reasoning skills". In my youthful impetuousness, this was something that I studiously ignored (simaltainously lending credance to his diagnosis). Foolishly, I never took the time to explore what this may imply for the future. There are three things that blight my interaction with others and human
potential. Extremely poor short term memory, the distinct absence of a meaningful concentration span and last by by no means least, a towering pressure to try and compensate for these things.
A while ago I read somewhere that there is a bit of the brain that is responsible for governing associative memory. In other words when someonesays something to you, it opens a pathway in your head that enables you to consciously recall everything you know about the subject at hand. I suspect that in me this area either isn't properly developed or has somehow been damaged. I shipped a lot of blows to the head during my adolescance and early twenties so perhaps blunt trauma may be a factor (athough I speak fairly well so the theory is still unproven).
Why am I documenting this and why also would anyone here wish to know this? The latter is up to you but my motive for placing this monologue is twofold. Firstly it's a simple plea to anyone that's thinking about talking to me, don't allow my reletively decent grasp of the language fool you into thinking I'm more than I really am. If someone engages with me assuming the best two things will happen, they will come away feeling dissappointed and I will come away feeling angry with myself and slightly inadaquate. Secondly because I wish to pose the question, if verbal or text-based communication is a legitimate hardship unto itself, is this site really the right place to confront loneliness?

A little footnote to unacceptance, if you read this and for some reason are inspired to remark upon it, please do so with any tone you desire - after the last time I've come to realise that whatever comes after the OP belongs to the public.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Last night, I made my second excursion into the chat facility and found it a very difficult experience to negotiate my way through. Before this starts sounding derogatory,allow me to say that every single person I spoke to aquitted themselves extremely well so to anyone who hasn't used the chatroom, consider that an unreserved endorsement.
No, the struggle of which I speak is of self expression. It's very disheartening to know in advance that your conversational skillset (or lack thereof) will fail you. It's not a matter of if but rather of when, that that awful moment arrives when it finally dawns on the recipeint of your ramblings that you are not as intruiging, clever or engaging as their preconceptions may have told.
A long time ago, I visited a child psycologist (my sister found this a near endless source of amusement until she found herelf having to follow a pescription of anti depressants lol) and was informed that although I was fairly advanced in many respects, I was sorely lacking in what he referred to as "verbal reasoning skills". In my youthful impetuousness, this was something that I studiously ignored (simaltainously lending credance to his diagnosis). Foolishly, I never took the time to explore what this may imply for the future. There are three things that blight my interaction with others and human
potential. Extremely poor short term memory, the distinct absence of a meaningful concentration span and last by by no means least, a towering pressure to try and compensate for these things.
A while ago I read somewhere that there is a bit of the brain that is responsible for governing associative memory. In other words when someonesays something to you, it opens a pathway in your head that enables you to consciously recall everything you know about the subject at hand. I suspect that in me this area either isn't properly developed or has somehow been damaged. I shipped a lot of blows to the head during my adolescance and early twenties so perhaps blunt trauma may be a factor (athough I speak fairly well so the theory is still unproven).
Why am I documenting this and why also would anyone here wish to know this? The latter is up to you but my motive for placing this monologue is twofold. Firstly it's a simple plea to anyone that's thinking about talking to me, don't allow my reletively decent grasp of the language fool you into thinking I'm more than I really am. If someone engages with me assuming the best two things will happen, they will come away feeling dissappointed and I will come away feeling angry with myself and slightly inadaquate. Secondly because I wish to pose the question, if verbal or text-based communication is a legitimate hardship unto itself, is this site really the right place to confront loneliness?

A little footnote to unacceptance, if you read this and for some reason are inspired to remark upon it, please do so with any tone you desire - after the last time I've come to realise that whatever comes after the OP belongs to the public.

The chat room can be a cluster fresia on a good day
It reminds me of growning up in a dysfuctional home....lmao
Please try to not take anything so seriously or to heart in the chat room.

It depend who's in the chat room and what's being discussed.
And the subject gets changed very quickly at times.
Sometimes it's random...

I simply use it as an interacting tool or a bridge to get me
out of ioslation. I have a lot of freinds in the chat.
Sometimes i go into a private chat if I need to talk on
a personal level.
In real life I run into a lot of charactors...lol
I don't get alone with everyone and that's okay.

Unacc dosn't bother me.
I miss spell words on purpose.
He's my living and breathing spell checker(slave)..lmao
Other times i type with my knuckles.
I got on his nerves so bad once...he had to put me on his ignore list...lmao
Heck..i even made drake cried a couple of times
It's not really real communitations when I interact with Unacc...it's more like a pissing contest.
My balls are hudge...man.lmao
Chidish or child's play to me...In that light, I've never taken him serious in anything.
I don't know him or wish to know him in any great depth...visa versa.

However...underneath the sufface or style.
He can't stand me becuase he sees every part that he hates about himself in me or he projected
that hate of himself on to me. I'm his CURE. He's fighting against himself more than anything else.
Visa Versa...in order for me to love myself and fulley accept myself as who I am...I accept unaacc just the same.
I'm human...he's human...No more nor no less than one another.

Unacceptible user name is just him play devil's advocate and he'll try to push it to the edge.
As i said...he deem god sent him into my life to teach me something I didn't already know..lmao
The kid is only 20 FFS..I learned that lesson decades ago.
I HAD ALL THE FUCKEN ANSWERS AT 19 TOO.. honeysuckle !!!....I STILL HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS..RoFLamo
visa versa...God sent me into his life to teach him new tricks becuase I seperated myself from the little boys
a long time ago..lol

So with that principle in mind...when I enter the chat room...I can just accept the chat as it is..
Live and let live....It is what it is.
I try to apply he same principle in my real life.

ALL is a bridge for me...
Learning how to interact with others...then transfering what I've learned here..good or bad (it's all good)
into my real life.

Yes..i do understand about retriggers of turamatic events in my life. I have PTSD
Yes..sometimes people will say things to me directly to retrigger the thoughts and feelings.
Sometimes it's inadvertenly.

Actaully the 12 steps gets into this...Doing the 4th steps will bring up alot of truamatics events in my life.
Sometimes when attend meetings...a subject in disscussion will retriggers a lot of my feelings or someone
will share thier experince and it retriggers my thoughts of the turamtics events in my life.
That's why a meeting room is a saft heaven and protected by GOD..(if you wish to belive in that)
I do feel a presence of a LOVING entity...everytime I walk into a meeting room.
I've work the 12 step over and over again...to face some of my deep rooted fears, pains or truama.
The work book I'm working on now...ask especific questions..such as abused, abandentment...etc.
I'm on step #4 again as a matter of fact. Tear stains on the pages all over my workbook again.
FACE EVERYTHING AND RECOVER.

A couple of my recovery friends are going through a lot of it at the moment...
They call me somtimes...to talk about it or process in it a new light or trying to heal.
Yes very, very painful...I mostly just listen to them. A level of trust has to be established.
LISTEN....JUST LISTEN..without preconceptions, judgements or my opinions.
JUST LISTEN so that person can process whatever it is they need to process.
I DON'T FIXED THEM...I JUST LISTEN and BE THERE...BE ATTENTIVE AND IN THE MOMENT WITH THEM.
My sponsor dose the same for me. So that I no longer feel alone when facing my fears or pains.

mmm...maybe you seen the movie "THE KID".
It's sort of like that...but my story is a bit darker, truama, chaos and dramma involved.

 

[Steel]

Here is what I believe about online communication, such as in chat.

I believe it can be helpful to those whom have difficulty interacting with others. While it is not the same as face to face communication, since we are only relying on the verbal, it is a social activity, and as such has to be a good thing. I have seen plenty of people gradually come out of their shells in chatrooms and join in. It can take time, especially for those unused to the rapid nature of communication in such things, let alone the possibly confusing abbreviations (aka netspeak).

It can also help with those who suffer from social inhibitions; shyness, for instance, is often the direct result of a fear of making a bad impression. The odd badly phrased comment is soon forgotten online, as indeed it would usually be in real life.

I like nearly all the people who use the chat, whether they like me or not lmao. Most importantly though, so many people represent their true personalities, in a way in which they may be too shy to do in real life. To me, that's a good thing.

There is nothing wrong with falling silent and just reading when the chat is too busy, or the topic of conversation is not one you feel you can contribute to.

 

[Minus]

It's very disheartening to know in advance that your conversational skillset (or lack thereof) will fail you. It's not a matter of if but rather of when, that that awful moment arrives when it finally dawns on the recipeint of your ramblings that you are not as intruiging, clever or engaging as their preconceptions may have told.

If you skills hold out until the 'recipient' realizes otherwise then you have me beat by a long distance. Try being instant silent roadkill on the highway.

 

[sammy]

I use the chatroom as a way to lighten my mood. Usually it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

For what it's worth wolfie, i enjoyed talking with you there.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Last night, I made my second excursion into the chat facility and found it a very difficult experience to negotiate my way through. Before this starts sounding derogatory,allow me to say that every single person I spoke to aquitted themselves extremely well so to anyone who hasn't used the chatroom, consider that an unreserved endorsement.
No, the struggle of which I speak is of self expression. It's very disheartening to know in advance that your conversational skillset (or lack thereof) will fail you. It's not a matter of if but rather of when, that that awful moment arrives when it finally dawns on the recipeint of your ramblings that you are not as intruiging, clever or engaging as their preconceptions may have told.
A long time ago, I visited a child psycologist (my sister found this a near endless source of amusement until she found herelf having to follow a pescription of anti depressants lol) and was informed that although I was fairly advanced in many respects, I was sorely lacking in what he referred to as "verbal reasoning skills". In my youthful impetuousness, this was something that I studiously ignored (simaltainously lending credance to his diagnosis). Foolishly, I never took the time to explore what this may imply for the future. There are three things that blight my interaction with others and human
potential. Extremely poor short term memory, the distinct absence of a meaningful concentration span and last by by no means least, a towering pressure to try and compensate for these things.
A while ago I read somewhere that there is a bit of the brain that is responsible for governing associative memory. In other words when someonesays something to you, it opens a pathway in your head that enables you to consciously recall everything you know about the subject at hand. I suspect that in me this area either isn't properly developed or has somehow been damaged. I shipped a lot of blows to the head during my adolescance and early twenties so perhaps blunt trauma may be a factor (athough I speak fairly well so the theory is still unproven).
Why am I documenting this and why also would anyone here wish to know this? The latter is up to you but my motive for placing this monologue is twofold. Firstly it's a simple plea to anyone that's thinking about talking to me, don't allow my reletively decent grasp of the language fool you into thinking I'm more than I really am. If someone engages with me assuming the best two things will happen, they will come away feeling dissappointed and I will come away feeling angry with myself and slightly inadaquate. Secondly because I wish to pose the question, if verbal or text-based communication is a legitimate hardship unto itself, is this site really the right place to confront loneliness?

A little footnote to unacceptance, if you read this and for some reason are inspired to remark upon it, please do so with any tone you desire - after the last time I've come to realise that whatever comes after the OP belongs to the public.

OK, first, about the chat...

Sometimes I just go in and watch. lol, it's a good way to relieve stress. Conversation isn't always required and no one thinks less of anyone for not participating in the conversation, or just tossing out the occasional random comment.
Sometimes, even the most avid chatters really have nothing to say, lol. And, chat isnt necessarily the place for in-depth conversations and philosophical debates, unless that's something you enjoy a lot. Short answers and randomness is not only accepted, but highly prized. Every single comment doesnt have to be fleshed-out and critiqued. And I, for one, hope it never becomes that way because I likley wouldnt frequent the chat much. Again, it's a place to zone out, not worry about every word that comes from your keyboard. Of course maybe if I were one to put a little more thought into my replies in chat, I wouldnt stick my foot in mouth as often. :club:

"don't allow my reletively decent grasp of the language fool you into thinking I'm more than I really am..."

I can't speak for anyone, other than myself, but I for one have no preconceived notion about how a person should or should not converse. When my child is content, I can carry on a decent conversation. When she isn't, you're lucky if you can get three coherant words strung together from me at once. I've also been known to get distracted and forget I'm even in chat. lol, that's rather embarrassing, but it happens.
You know, some people have the ability to produce some of the most intuitive, thoughtful and provocative writing. I'd trade the ability to come up with a snappy retort in chat, for the ability to compose great writing. Trade with me, Wolf??

Oh, as for the question of the whether or not this site is the right place to confront loneliness, that's a question that each individual will have to answer for themselves. I've seen members that wouldn't go into the chat room if they were PAID to. I've also seen members who have been in chat for MONTHS before ever making a single post on the forum.
I guess it comes down to something very fundamental - everyone is different.

 

[EveWasFramed]

It's very disheartening to know in advance that your conversational skillset (or lack thereof) will fail you. It's not a matter of if but rather of when, that that awful moment arrives when it finally dawns on the recipeint of your ramblings that you are not as intruiging, clever or engaging as their preconceptions may have told.

If you skills hold out until the 'recipient' realizes otherwise then you have me beat by a long distance. Try being instant silent roadkill on the highway.

Oh but Minus, my dear, what I would give for the ability you have to say so much, with such few words. lol

 

[Lonesome Crow]

It's very disheartening to know in advance that your conversational skillset (or lack thereof) will fail you. It's not a matter of if but rather of when, that that awful moment arrives when it finally dawns on the recipeint of your ramblings that you are not as intruiging, clever or engaging as their preconceptions may have told.

If you skills hold out until the 'recipient' realizes otherwise then you have me beat by a long distance. Try being instant silent roadkill on the highway.

Oh but Minus, my dear, what I would give for the ability you have to say so much, with such few words. lol

EVE,

If you aunction off the baby...you can be the ultimate chatting queen. Get with the program FFS.
Then the next step for you to work on is.... being my queen. There's always room for growth

 

[luciddisconnect]

I doubt this is a place to confront lonliness, Wolfshadow. You can only really confront loneliness when alone. Hence the confrontation.

And if you really want to cure your loneliness, you've got to somehow force yourself out into the world to meet some people. And hopefully it doesn't go so badly that you just give up right away again. (Well, this is my perspective)

At the moment this site allows me to feel a little less trapped in my own world. It helps to read other people's stories and know that I'm not the only one who often feels like I'm stuck in a pathetic rut. Much of the rest of my waking life I have to feign optimism, which is wearisome. It's nice that I'm allowed to be vocally bleak here without anyone saying, "I wish you weren't so depressing all of the time." And seriously, honeysuckle. . . it's nice to know so many of you are single, because sometimes I feel like I'm the only single guy on earth.

I tried the chatroom here Sun. night. This was the first time I'd ever chatted online. Enjoyed moments, had a laugh or two. Got some of the feeling of immediate human contact that I wanted (one step removed, of course). But there are limits to what you can inflect on a keyboard. A couple comments I made might have seemed mean instead of sarcastic. Oh well. I'm not going to dwell on it.

Neither should you.

 

[wolfshadow]

I composed a long garrulous post, in a effort to encapsulate all of thee replies but I could barely understand it myself so decided to abort in favor of something a little more concise.

Minus, Eve is right, the power to affect as much as you often do, with such economy of words is a rare gift and an ability I would love to have in my repertoire.

As for the other comments, the chatroom itself didn't bother me it just highlighted a few long standing problems which I pointed out in the OP. I am glad though that I gave a reason for members to submit a general opinion on the useage and benefit of the chatroom because I believe it may help others to use it with a little more confidence (providing they read what you have written that is lol).