I'm an idiot

[Comrad]

About an hour and a half ago I was with my best friend and almost girlfriend. She always thinks that I'll leave her for someone else when we're going to be together.

Now, we were next to each other and she was teasing me with saying other girls names. She then said the name of my other best friend (a girl) and I told her that she was one of my best friends. Suddenly she gets mad and wants to go home, i told her I was sorry but she didn't want to hear it. After she left I send her 2 texts and a message on fb but she ignored it.

I fear that she might leave and ignore me now. I have never told so much and been so open to anyone. I don't want to lose her but now looking back on it I can see, as usual, that I was very stupid to say that. This always happens to me and I can't help it.

I hope she can forgive me but I think this is the end and that makes me feel very depressed and sad.

If someone has ever had a similar situation or would like to help me, I would love some advice

 

[theraab]

Sounds like she's extremely jealous. I wouldn't try to contact her again for a few days (at least 2 or 3) to let her cool off. If you haven't heard from her, I would send her one more message along the lines of "I wasn't thinking when I said that and I'm sorry. If you can forgive me, let me know. Otherwise I'll know I screwed up our friendship, and just know that I'm sorry" - or something like that (I know that last sentence isn't quite right, but you get the idea).

By letting her cool off for a couple days she won't be as upset with you as right after it happened. If she's really into you, she'll call you back when she knows that it may be her last chance to talk to you. If you don't hear from her, you can take solace in the fact that, despite what you said, she really is overly jealous.

 

[Rosebolt]

Yes, i've had a similar situation long ago. My advice now is to run. She's obviously very insecure and so are you.

However i know that that'll sound stupid. So i'll word it differently. You shouldn't feel stupid for saying the truth. If she can't handle it, than that is not your problem. You can keep catering to her needs, and you can probably live a long while doing so, but you will never be happy. You'll be in constant stress, afraid of saying the wrong thing.

She will ignore you for a day to a week, depending on her personality. After that she will return. Then it will take a variable amount of time before it happens again and the cycle will start over. Eventually, two things can happen: Either one of you will improve your life and better your attitude, or one will end up commiting suicide.

I prefer to see the first option happen.

 

[daughter of the moon]

Nah, I wouldn't necessarily agree that waiting a few days might be a good idea. If she's that jealous, she'll be going insane picturing you hanging out with other girls in the meantime. I'm thinking (though I may be entirely wrong, but being a very jealous person myself, I'm just saying how it would be for me), that you should keep letting her know that you're sorry and how much she really means to you. She wants to hear these things right now. I know it's silly, but give her as much attention and positive reinforcement as you can right now

 

[EveWasFramed]

Don't send her anymore messages. I agree with the gentlemen's posts above. She appears to be very insecure and EXTREMELY jealous.
A little jealousy is fine (in moderation). But someone who gets angry over there mere mention of another female? Nah...that's unhealthy.

 

[TheWalkingDead]

You're not the idiot in this case.

Mind you neither is she, but you cant go blaming yourself for another person's insecurities, looks like she started it with the teasing and has a lot to learn herself - with such girls you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, from what I've been through myself.

I wish you luck

 

[Comrad]

I want to thank you all for your replies and your advice.
It makes me feel better knowing it's not all my fault.

I'll either speak her again tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, I'll see what she has to say about the matter.

 

[LonesomeLoner]

Best to give her space. I don't know much about women but sounds like she is upset with you. Hope things work out soon for you

 

[Comrad]

It's over, she gave up on me.

 

[LonesomeLoner]

Sorry to hear that. Try not to feel down, if you keep strong inside you can do anything, trust me.

 

[TheWalkingDead]

Sorry to hear that, if she's given up on you so easily she wasn't your best friend, friends have a habit of caring about you and not giving up on you like that.

It does sound like you have other friends, perhaps you could spend some time with her/them while you get through this, hopefully there is better in store for you in the future.

 

[EveWasFramed]

It's over, she gave up on me.

She didn't give up on YOU. She gave up an opportunity for some serious self-examination and the chance to make some personal internal changes for the better.
She gave up on herself really.

 

[TheWalkingDead]

It's over, she gave up on me.

She didn't give up on YOU. She gave up an opportunity for some serious self-examination and the chance to make some personal internal changes for the better.
She gave up on herself really.

Well put

 

[Rosebolt]

It's over, she gave up on me.

There's a big chance she will contact you again in a month or two. The question is wether you're welcoming her then or not.

 

[ardour]

A little jealousy is fine (in moderation). But someone who gets angry over there mere mention of another female? Nah...that's unhealthy.

That. This is insane. You're allowed to have friends who happen to be women. She's extremely possessive and you're better off ignoring her attempts to contact you in future.

 

[EveWasFramed]

A little jealousy is fine (in moderation). But someone who gets angry over there mere mention of another female? Nah...that's unhealthy.

That. This is insane. You're allowed to have friends who happen to be women. She's extremely possessive and you're better off ignoring her attempts to contact you in future.

^^ Good post. Her jealousy is HER issue and she must be the one to work through it. I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do.

 

[maidendeth]

i agree with everything above. dont be so hard on yourself, it wasnt your fault. if she was that jealous and insecure while you WERENT together, can you imagine how it wouldve been if you were? it would probably be like walking on eggshells the whole time. thats not healthy nor fun. hopefully in time shell come around and you two can try again. but i would think you dodged a bullet.

 

[Comrad]

Thank you everyone for the positive comments
I feel kinda empty right now but i'll just have to accept it

 

[Midnight Sky]

I'm kind of confused here.

If you two were together, I feel she would be looking for an excuse to walk out. Being in a relationship with someone who has extreme trust issues never works out.

 

[Sansui]

It's over, she gave up on me.

I fail to see how u were an idiot by partaking in her game and for being honest. From where I am it seems the lady had her own issues that have nothing to do with u. If one is extremely jealous there's not much u can do, no matter how much u try to get them to trust u and the relationship: short of becoming a puppet. Being constantly concerned about how u come across, every single word u utter is not healthy.

Thanks for caring, hopefully in time she will look back and realise you weren't in the wrong and maybe u cld b friends!