**** insecurities ;(

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
S

Sean

Guest
Curious to know if anyone else has ever had the feeling that people don't like them, for no reason at all?

Once in a while I get this,
Most of the time I can reassure myself that this cannot possibly be true . . because I know everyone loves me :p (this is a joke).
But sometimes it sticks, and gets me a little upset over LITERALLY nothing.

Anyways,
Some situations like this have been on MSN or Facebook chat.
I guess it would be more common to happen there, than real life, cause it's hard to tell how the other person is feeling, and you can't really hear the tone of their voice, or sarcasm . . etc.

Scenario: Person i'm talking to says "oh gotta go, bye." but doesn't sign off for 10 minutes.
A few minutes after they say they're going to leave, I notice them still online, and I think to myself . . . "Maybe they just said that so they wouldn't have to continue to talk to me."

What probably happened: They do like talking to me, left facebook up and 'locked/switch user'd', or walked away from their computer.


Only other I can really think of is to actually confront the person, and ask them what's going on. What they're honestly feeling or thinking.
I probably would only do this if I highly valued the relationship, or thought it had potential.
Because it could be kind of embaressing. :p
(I did this once ;).)
 
Eh, usually when someone doesn't like me, it's because I'm a *****. People expect me to be a pushover for whatever reason.
 
Definitely feel that way. I'm thoroughly convinced I'm just an unlikeable person.
 
Sean said:
Only other I can really think of is to actually confront the person, and ask them what's going on. What they're honestly feeling or thinking.
I probably would only do this if I highly valued the relationship, or thought it had potential.
Because it could be kind of embaressing. :p
(I did this once ;).)

I do this very often, I think that's one of the reasons why I don't have so many friends :p
 
I get that way all the time, even from strangers. Like who cares what a stranger thinks, right? I do. I used to get picked on a lot in school even from kids I didn't know, so whenever I pass by someone and hear them snicker I wonder if it was directed towards me. Sometimes I wonder if my friends really like me or not, like when no one responds to status messages on Facebook. I start to wonder if anyone really cares.

Then sometimes I get a call from a previous co-workers to say hi or finally get a message from a friend. I try to remind myself of this when I get that way.
 
((Sean)) You are a totally likable person! :)

No one is liked by everyone, we all just have to learn to sift out the ones who don't blend with us and ignore them and focus on the ones who do. The internet is crazy because sometimes, the person who doesn't sign out is in the bathroom or on a call and just forgot to sign out. I am so guilty of this at times. I just wander away from my computer.
 
Sci-Fi said:
I get that way all the time, even from strangers. Like who cares what a stranger thinks, right? I do. I used to get picked on a lot in school even from kids I didn't know, so whenever I pass by someone and hear them snicker I wonder if it was directed towards me. Sometimes I wonder if my friends really like me or not, like when no one responds to status messages on Facebook. I start to wonder if anyone really cares.

Then sometimes I get a call from a previous co-workers to say hi or finally get a message from a friend. I try to remind myself of this when I get that way.

Aha, no one comments on my facebook status updates :(.

:p.

Nina said:
((Sean)) You are a totally likable person! :)

No one is liked by everyone, we all just have to learn to sift out the ones who don't blend with us and ignore them and focus on the ones who do. The internet is crazy because sometimes, the person who doesn't sign out is in the bathroom or on a call and just forgot to sign out. I am so guilty of this at times. I just wander away from my computer.

Aww :), thanks Nina.

Although, I don't think the first part is true . . . i'm positive everyone likes you :p.
 
Sean, for as adorable as you are , you'd be wrong on that. There are just as many folks here and in the world in general who could either care less about me or dislike me for whatever their reasons are. The trick is always finding and focusing on the folks who you DO get on well with. Sometimes they're tricky to find and then keep track of but it's always worth it to find them.... Have no doubt, buddy...YOU are likable if not just down right LOVABLE! :D
 
Craaaap, I'm really bad for that! I mean in the sense that when I go to bed I just leave msn, skype and other apps logged in and hit the sheets. I figure that they'll go into auto away mode on their own, so why bother?

Lazy Limlim is lazy!
 
Nina said:
The internet is crazy because sometimes, the person who doesn't sign out is in the bathroom or on a call and just forgot to sign out. I am so guilty of this at times. I just wander away from my computer.

That's why I just tell people I'm IMing that I gotta poop (usually my brother), or change my status message to, taking a crap be right back, doing laundry, customizing, etc just so they know when they come on I'm there. I have a friend who would be really bad for bugging you if you didn't respond to right immediately. I have the volume down on my PC so if I'm not sitting next to it then I don't hear the notification that someone has sent a message. Sometimes I think I hear it, and there's nothing...weird...
 
Sci-Fi said:
Nina said:
The internet is crazy because sometimes, the person who doesn't sign out is in the bathroom or on a call and just forgot to sign out. I am so guilty of this at times. I just wander away from my computer.

That's why I just tell people I'm IMing that I gotta poop (usually my brother), or change my status message to, taking a crap be right back, doing laundry, customizing, etc just so they know when they come on I'm there. I have a friend who would be really bad for bugging you if you didn't respond to right immediately. I have the volume down on my PC so if I'm not sitting next to it then I don't hear the notification that someone has sent a message. Sometimes I think I hear it, and there's nothing...weird...

:D:D "Taking a crap, be right back!" That's FLAWLESS! I'd use that one even if I was just wandering off to paint another wave on my canvas! I've been chewed out royally for wandering away from my keyboard too!

 
Hey ALL -- Our Edit Profile page offers convenient Away Information options like Away Status ("I'm Away" or "I'm Here"), Away Reason (example: "I'm on the throne, catch up with ya later") and Return Date. TTYL, LG:)
 
Nina said:
Sean, for as adorable as you are , you'd be wrong on that. There are just as many folks here and in the world in general who could either care less about me or dislike me for whatever their reasons are. The trick is always finding and focusing on the folks who you DO get on well with. Sometimes they're tricky to find and then keep track of but it's always worth it to find them.... Have no doubt, buddy...YOU are likable if not just down right LOVABLE! :D

redface.gif


I shall keep that in mind. Thanks
biggrin.png
!
 
ya i feel the same way too .... if its about fb or msn i can always pretend to be very nice person
but in real life even if i treat people nicely it seems like they hate me or maybe they think im boring but **** people they wont say it i dont even know whats wrong with me im just fed up thinking abt all that n crying n blaming my self so i said i shouldnt care abt what people think just let them fresia off bcuz u cant change people so its better u dont feel upset ... be happy .. just dont care
 
^^^WELL DON'T, MAN!!

YOU ARE THE WOLF!! YOU ARE THE WOLF MUTHAFUCKAAAAA!!

angry_wolf.jpg


You are the hunter, you are the predator, you do not know pain, you do not know death... you will TASTE OF MANFLESH!! Wait... wrong lines...

BUT CLOSE ENOUGH.

RUN LIKE A WOLF AND NEVER LOOK BACK, MAN.
 
Sean said:
Curious to know if anyone else has ever had the feeling that people don't like them, for no reason at all?

Once in a while I get this,
Most of the time I can reassure myself that this cannot possibly be true . . because I know everyone loves me :p (this is a joke).
But sometimes it sticks, and gets me a little upset over LITERALLY nothing.

Anyways,
Some situations like this have been on MSN or Facebook chat.
I guess it would be more common to happen there, than real life, cause it's hard to tell how the other person is feeling, and you can't really hear the tone of their voice, or sarcasm . . etc.

Scenario: Person i'm talking to says "oh gotta go, bye." but doesn't sign off for 10 minutes.
A few minutes after they say they're going to leave, I notice them still online, and I think to myself . . . "Maybe they just said that so they wouldn't have to continue to talk to me."

What probably happened: They do like talking to me, left facebook up and 'locked/switch user'd', or walked away from their computer.


Only other I can really think of is to actually confront the person, and ask them what's going on. What they're honestly feeling or thinking.
I probably would only do this if I highly valued the relationship, or thought it had potential.
Because it could be kind of embaressing. :p
(I did this once ;).)

Oh Sean, I feel your pain in this. I know EXACTLY how you feel. No matter how much someone tells me they like me or even love me, I always wonder if they really mean it, even when they demonstrate over and over again that they do. Not commenting on a status doesn't mean no one cares. It's most likely that they just couldn't think of anything to say that to them wouldn't sound dumb or fake or whatever. I know that's the primary reason why if I don't comment on something. I read all the status updates of my Facebook friends and sometimes will actually go to their walls to see if I missed anything in the feed. Of course, my friends probably don't realize I do that unless I mention it or comment on something.

One of the things I've found that helps me feel more secure is when I stop and think about the demonstrations that someone cares. For example, most of my friends are online. If I don't talk to one of them for a few days I start to think that maybe they don't care. Well, this happened recently. When he and I did talk again, he almost immediately linked me to something he found on the 'net that he thought I would like to see. To me, that was a demonstration of caring that he thought of me during the time we didn't talk. Since he and I are friends online, you have to do a little more thinking in terms of the limitations of the ways to demonstrate you care.

And you have to look at yourself too. Sometimes it's not enough to say, "I care." You have to show it. Are you demonstrating your caring of the people in your life? Commenting on Facebook statuses (if they're sincere) is one way but there are others. Caring is a two-way street and we have to look at our own behavior and make sure that we're demonstrating that we care. You only get out what you put into it.

Really though, for the most part, I think a lot of people are just forgetful. They get so wrapped up in their own stuff that they don't think about anything else. It's not personal...they're just self-centered. (Most people are actually.) The world we live in is busy and hectic at times and it's easy to forget the little things.

But the key to remember is that actions speak louder than words. Don't pay so much attention to the words, but look for actions. It helps.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top