Is it possible?

[FlyingPlatypus]

I'm sure most of you will think that this is a n00b question, but still...

Is it even possible to get a girlfriend without having a social life? By social life I mean having a circle of friends, that you can hang out with? I'm wondering, because it seems that most of the relationships develop because of mutual friends. I know that's not always the case, but it's way harder (nearly impossible?) if you are mostly alone.

 

[Okonkwo]

Not really. Trying to get a gf without having proper social connections is kind of like trying to fit a square peg into a circular hole. You can keep trying and hope for a different result every time, but in the end the result will always be the same. It just won't fit.

 

[Lost Drifter]

What about getting a girlfriend outside your circle of friends? Wouldn't that make it possible?

For the record I’ve got zero social life but have had girlfriends in the past so yes, very possible, though perhaps this is one of those things that gets easier as you get older.

 

[Okiedokes]

That's where you go and search for one and you can even do that online. You don't need friends to get a girlfriend.

 

[PyramidHead]

Sadly, I already met a few people who had no friends, even got social phobia and still had a partner... long lasting relationship... and even kids. So it sometimes may seem, that it actually can seem harder for some people to find friends than to find a partner. But I believe that it needs a lot of luck and turns of positive events to make this possible.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I'm not really sure how to answer this. Cause I hang out with very little people but I still managed a relationship. I realized through out life that sometimes it's best to be your own best friend and lots of hobbies. But I believe love can happen to anyone.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Of course, I met a girl online and she became my spiritual girlfriend. I met her while I was still in college. Once I moved back to the city I learned that she lived really close to me. We met up and never looked back to the online world. The rest... well it is what makes me see females as... well... I do not want to get banned.. I am sure my ramblings can be found elsewhere.

 

[bulmabriefs144]

There are schizoids who have wife and children. So yes, anything is possible.

You meet someone at like a comic shop, you have similar interests, and you hang out together. The both of you are geeks that have just enough nerve to go outside. If you're a geek, and she's not, you can probably find common interests, but she'll probably think there's something wrong with you because you're socially isolated. Just as you can make a relationship work if you're you're both lousy stinking poor and living like nomads, but not if you're poor and she's a lawyer. Opposites only attract so much, commonalities are better for keeping people together.

It's even possible to have a gf that hates you who will still date you (if she's using you for looks/sex/money).

 

[FlyingPlatypus]

I'm not really sure how to answer this. Cause I hang out with very little people but I still managed a relationship. I realized through out life that sometimes it's best to be your own best friend and lots of hobbies. But I believe love can happen to anyone.

Yeah, I think having many hobbies is definitely a positive thing, because you can meet people with similar interests. The problem is that I'm awkward around people, so I must find a hobbie, where there are awkward people around.

... she'll probably think there's something wrong with you because you're socially isolated ...

That's one of the things that worries me, when I try to get close to a girl. Trying to battle such negative thoughts is difficult.

What about getting a girlfriend outside your circle of friends? Wouldn't that make it possible?

For the record I’ve got zero social life but have had girlfriends in the past so yes, very possible, though perhaps this is one of those things that gets easier as you get older.

I really don't want to wait until I get old. It feels like I'm wasting my life at this moment.

That's where you go and search for one and you can even do that online. You don't need friends to get a girlfriend.

Search how? Going out alone and trying to approach a girl is awkward. I don't want to look like a weirdo.

 

[Code S.O.L]

There are some exceptions to the rule, but generally, no. If you plan on meeting girls anywhere, you need to be extroverted-even alittle. It's an absolute must for a guy. A girl can get away with being introverted, since traditionally it's the guys who are making the required moves anyways. We however, cannot, since all girls will gauge our masculinity based on how bold we are. As a general rule of thumb, introverted guys don't have the masculinity they seek. And even if they do, will still likely be ignored in favour of a chestbeater.

It's very hard and very rare to find a girlfriend without some form of social circle, so THAT's where you need to start. You got hobbies, try looking for groups and places full of like-minded individuals. You're bound to get atleast a few aquaintences this way. Perservere with this, and you'll gain acceptance into a social circle. As you become more accustomed to dealing with and interracting with people, you'll branch out more and more, until you eventually summon up the courage to talk to a girl.

If you feel you can't do this, then....... maybe you should consider some of the advantages you have as a single.

 

[FlyingPlatypus]

There are some exceptions to the rule, but generally, no. If you plan on meeting girls anywhere, you need to be extroverted-even alittle. It's an absolute must for a guy. A girl can get away with being introverted, since traditionally it's the guys who are making the required moves anyways. We however, cannot, since all girls will gauge our masculinity based on how bold we are. As a general rule of thumb, introverted guys don't have the masculinity they seek. And even if they do, will still likely be ignored in favour of a chestbeater.

It's very hard and very rare to find a girlfriend without some form of social circle, so THAT's where you need to start. You got hobbies, try looking for groups and places full of like-minded individuals. You're bound to get atleast a few aquaintences this way. Perservere with this, and you'll gain acceptance into a social circle. As you become more accustomed to dealing with and interracting with people, you'll branch out more and more, until you eventually summon up the courage to talk to a girl.

If you feel you can't do this, then....... maybe you should consider some of the advantages you have as a single.

So basically, we introverted guys are doomed to be lonely?

 

[Code S.O.L]

Unless you're willing to take a few life changing steps, well..................yeah.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

So basically, we introverted guys are doomed to be lonely?

I say your chances of being lonely are much higher yes. Think of it like this, if you do not play the lottery you cannot win the lottery. Yes you might get lucky one day and find a willing ticket on the ground. However, your chances are very slim.

Also, you can have social skills and be introverted.

 

[CherrySlushie91]

I think you just have to find the right type of girl. Also it depends on what you do since you don't hang with friends, are u just sitting at home or do u have places you go and things you do. Find a girl who loves to talk, she'll spend so much time nagging to you about her friends she won't notice you don't do the same lol

 

[Chikid]

Well you can meet a girl at school. I mean if you don't hang out with anybody school or maybe work is an option

 

[FlyingPlatypus]

I think you just have to find the right type of girl. Also it depends on what you do since you don't hang with friends, are u just sitting at home or do u have places you go and things you do. Find a girl who loves to talk, she'll spend so much time nagging to you about her friends she won't notice you don't do the same lol

I spend most of my day either in university, gym or home. I must find some new things to do-maybe volunteering. I'm interested in boxing also, but unfortunately I'll not meet any girls there lol. Any other suggestions?

 

[bodafuko]

Attraction for many females is largely based on the perception of social value. Social value is perceived from many different factors: having friends, having money, having education, having strength, being respected, being a leader, being fearless, and any combination of these factors. Notice I used the word "perception". You don't actually have to have any of these things. You simply need to give the impression that you possess one or more of them to build your social value. A man with social value is attractive to many females. So, to answer your question, YES, it is possible to get a girlfriend without a social circle. What you are actually asking without asking it outright is "What attracts females?" Go read on that subject. There is plenty of material out there. However, remember that all people - and this means women too - are different and can not be lumped into one category. Likewise, generalizations do have a place in life and do exist for a reason, that being that generalizations are 'generally' correct.

 

[FlyingPlatypus]

Maybe "fake it till you make it" is a good idea.

 

[Hawx79]

****, having no friends and being introvert i am screwed!
As one person said its indeed best then to focus on the good sites of being single instead of the bads. Its the only way to keep my sanity.
But how can i accept being single forever?