Is your loneliness your own making?

[cumulus.james]

I have been on this forum a while. Now I came on this forum because I thought I could meet and get to know like minded people who were feeling alone and low like me. But after a good few months I have to say. Your not the friendliest of fellows!

I have tried to talk to a lot of people on here. But it is never reciprocated. It never goes anywhere. Those who do reply do so out of politeness. You can tell. You guys want to ***** and rant about how bad stuff is for you, but actually you do not want to engage with anyone on a personal level…

Someone posted a poll that said “do you hate me”.

I don’t know you! How could I like or hate you. You people moan you do not have friends but how will you get any if you don’t want to talk to anyone?

What should be good about this forum is that we all have problems and are all lonely therefore we should all have some form of common ground to be able to get along with each other. Out of this some friendships should be born.

But no. Nothing. People post their self indulgent moaning but don’t actually want to talk to anyone.

I’m a 30 yr old ex alternative music DJ and ex singer/producer with 5 cats, my own business and I’m gay. Surely I am appealing to some people?

Why do you guys not want to talk?

PS this post is dedicated to the user “SOUP”.

 

[trZ]

Hi. If you wish to talk, just PM me. I'm not lonely anymore, but I have been for several years. I think that the very nature of this board does so that people talk about their own problems. Someone have bigger problem than others, but in my short time here I have found most of the members I've interacted with through the chat to be really nice people. There will always be people that aren't all that friendly, and when someone have big issues for extended periods of time, and on top of that, loneliness to deal with, their social antennas might not be where they should.

This board was a huge resource for me in understanding why I was lonely, and how to get out of it all. I think it is a good site, and used correctly can be of great help.

 

[SkuzzieMuff]

This thread wasn't at all what I expected from reading the title. Though everything you say is true. People suck, brah...

But yet again, maybe they'd rather talk about things that make them happy, instead of dwelling on loneliness, but I guess I can only speak for myself. I don't want to whine or read whining, I just wanna chill out and enjoy myself.

Though I'm sorry you didn't find what you were looking for.... :/

 

[Sci-Fi]

Look, I'm going to be honest here and just straight forward. If you go back to your first few posts here you will see why you've had a difficult time getting to know people and why we haven't been so "friendly". You accused people of not knowing what true loneliness is. Even your first paragraph is off putting, saying that we're not the friendliest of fellows. You say stuff like that people are going to say, f* you then. You have your problems, fine, all of us do, we all deal with them differently, you don't find a lot saying "I'm worse off than you". I had a friend who was like that, you could never talk to her about your problems without her making her issues sound worse. I avoid her now. I don't mind listening to other peoples problems and helping them out or whatever they need. But if you don't want to reciprocate it or whine you are worse off so I shouldn't complain, screw you. That is not how people work, we get wrapped up in what our problems are, for us they are bad at that moment, we don't want to hear others demean them. We just want someone to listen and help us clear our heads or share their experiences with us that might help.

Now to answer your topic question, yes it is of my own making, I'm a shy person, I find it very difficult to just go out and meet people. It terrifies me to put myself out like that. So I go home everyday after work to my small apartment, and sit online to chat with people I will probably never get to meet. People I can share things in common with.

 

[Pheenix]

I have posted this a trillion times and I will do it again: People aren't social on forums. That's not what forums are for. Find an IRC channel and hang out there.

---

To the topic name question, that seems kinda off, yes, my loneliness is my own doing. I was a pretty pathetic person when I was younger. I thought that manners, patience and discipline all the qualities a person needed. That said, people were a-holes in my school and I can see why I wouldn't hang out with them in retrospect.
In the end, I'm fatalist, and believe that everyone are consequences of what happened to them. People messed with me, I messed with myself...

 

[IgnoredOne]

I have made a few good friends here on the forum, and I regularly and actively use the PM system.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

This sire help me. My life is differentt today. Most of the time
Ill just write or post pics of whats going on in my life. Some people
find it tasteless or whatever..never the less its my life. Its kind of like an on line journal kind of thing for me.
The past 3 yrs of my had been a journey. Filled with tears, happiness, sex..sex.sex, love hatred., sorrows, pains, triumps, losses, good times, bad times and sometimes loniness.
Poeple will react or respond to my post in accordance to thier filters or perceptioms. Some are sicker than other.

Yes some people are combative and arnt too friendly. Had running with
plenty..its all good. Its part of life or social net work. Im not going to like everyone and not everyone is going to like me. I dont have a problem communicating with these people.
Telling them to fresia off is communication...

I do work on myself alot..read and reserch...understand more about myself and healthier living tools.
Plenty of people on here thank me for passing on the informations..

 

[Pheenix]

Interesting. It varies I guess. But I know many people who don't use forums socially, so I guess, just don't be offended if someone doesn't "start talking with you" because some people don't talk with anyone at all.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Others just wanna remain miserable.
Thats ok too..sometimes I know myself I jsut want to be happy.
Sometimes people have to sit in their own bullshit for a while to know their own honeysuckle stinks....
Everyone have a different bottom or threashole of pains..

anyway..Im with my current GF.
We just had sex..
So u might ask..why would I come here to still post and why would I be lonely?
Like I say...I just write whatever thats going on in my life...

 

[Pheenix]

Have you thought of requesting a journal type sub-forum?

 

[I'm Fine]

There may be some people here who post out of politeness but I don't think everyone does. I know that I don't. I only post if I feel that I have something to say (and it hasn't already been said by others before me - probably better).

Or are you talking about PMs?

I've noticed that you do seem to get quite a few replies to your posts and there are several people here who've said they're happy to be PM'd. Have you tried them? Not everyone comes here to talk to anyone. Some people want to a) vent and/or b) see if they like the sound of someone and talk to them. But there are some that will talk to pretty much anyone...I think???

Good luck in your search. I hope you find what you're looking for.

--edited to add---

Oh and btw - yes, my loneliness is of my own making. I know that. I accept that. I just can't seem to do anything about it right now.

 

[Pheenix]

Hmm... so far I've always thought rants by were people bewildered or misguided. Perhaps we should request a rant subforum?

I guess if a lot of people really get on here to talk and hang out, I should try to personally act a little less stringent. I've always striven for objectivity and order on places like this.

 

[Ak5]

First lesson on social skills: Treat others the way you want to be treated. I sense hostility from you and now I am thinking that you are an unpleasant person to be around with. I don't know who you are, neither you know who I am. All we can do is "read" your emotions. We all have our problems, I came here because I did not know how to cope anymore. It feels better to be part of a community (even online) of people who are in your position, or were in your position. I so far have not seen any moaning or whining (except from you now), pardon if I am wrong though I am new. I have read many posts and they all seem to be anxious and very upset; all of this due to loneliness.

15 year old male, straight, homeschooled student.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

As far as...we creat our heavrn or our own hell....
Theres different ways of looking at it or living life..

Some had said on here...its a self fulling prophacy.

I do a lot of reserch on how our mind works, spirituality and what not.
Hundrends of self help books, seminar, support groups, counseling..etc..etc prety much say the samething in different ways..
.
We live in accordance to our beliefs .
So whatever we hold or creat in our mind will materialize....its has nothing to do with good or bad.

Im currently using the SEDONA method to release neative thoughts and emotions.
Such as ....Releasing my feelings of loniness..

I also listen to ultimate confidence and Beyound possitive thinking..
Im currenlty reading 7 habits of effective people...Material thats helping me to live a healthier and happier life.

 

[Pheenix]

7 Habits is freaking awesome.

Just don't fall for that The Secret bullshit. Well, the general concept is great, but they take it to a crazy spiritual-like level.

 

[IgnoredOne]

7 Habits is freaking awesome.

Just don't fall for that The Secret bullshit. Well, the general concept is great, but they take it to a crazy spiritual-like level.

Its a failure at pop occultism. Quite amusing, that said.

 

[Pheenix]

This
is
hilariously embarrassing

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I dont think the secret is that far off...

I see it happening here....people bitching, whining . Complaining and being negative..
They create thier own miseries and relieve it over and over again.
Re inforcing thier own mieries.

at the very least one might get fron the secrets is keep an openmind, change your thinking change your life. Be positive...Take positive actions

7 habits explains it in a different way...our mental blue prints or road
maps.

even other books such as a miilionair mind say the say thing....change your mental blue print or your subconsciouse..
some people remains poor becuase they think that way...the same principle can be apply...
some people remind miserable cuase they think and live that way and dont want to change.
Lasting change comes from the inside out..
A nuratic thinks he has all the answers and not willing to change.
In his self righotusness..he must always be right...due to his poor selfesteem. He creates his own hell and miseries and puhses people away....

 

[Pheenix]

What the Secret gets right is this: you get what you want. As in, the two things one need to complete a task is motivation and competence. If you have motivation, you just need competence. If you have motivation for getting competence, you are basically home free for all troubles in life.
But in reality, it's a bit less black and white in that. You would need a heck-load of motivation to start doing something about your competence. If you had a fair deal of self-confidence on the side, you would need considerably less though.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I havnt totally figure out the secrets yet....but I know the process still works in my life..

For some reason..I always have beautiful women with big Boobs
in my life and they come into my life one way or the other.
Cuz bascailly I think about beautiful women with big boobs all the time.
itt got embeded into my long term
memory or subconscious mind.

Id post a pic of my current GF BOOBs they big just like most women I go out with...but itll get deleted like Remaes pics..lmao