There have been times where I was on the verge of suicide. The last time was in early 2009. It's almost 2011. Yep, still depressed. Still empty of meaning for living. I try every day. I try to be myself, apparently I'm a prick. I try my best to be kind, & apparently that makes me a pussy. People don't initiate conversations with me so I try to do it, apparently that makes me annoying. I can't go on. I'm too stupid, too clumsy, ect. I always just wished that there was one redeeming trait I had that could allow me to keep going. Nothing. Apparently people really don't need me. & in all honestly people really don't like me. Idk why either, but even when I'm giving it my all to be a good person, to get on well with people, do good deeds. I still manage to be something people don't like. I feel cursed. I think I won't be around for much longer. I don't want to be. I've tried & tried. I suppose it's just fate.