Just curious as to what others think about this.

[angel_in_view]

Hey everyone! My sister & I were talking about this last night and I thought it would be an interesting topic to post here. This is for both the ladies and the guys!

I know we are not perfect by any means, but when it comes to dating someone, do you make decisions based on their appearance? Would it stop you from dating them if they didn't "correct the issue?" Now when I say this, I don't mean weight. I'm referring to how they take care of their appearance otherwise.

This was the topic of conversation during my sister's lunch break @ work. She said a couple of the replies surprised her a bit. The majority of them said they simply want the woman to actually respect herself enough to come out of the house w/o looking a mess. When they were asked to elaborate, they said understand that all of us have an "off day," but don't look a mess daily & then be mad when you can't get a date. They went on to say they don't mean you have to have fake stuff on from your head to your feet, but show that you DO care about what you have going on. My sister said a couple of guys in the room said they didn't care as long as the woman was clean & didn't stink. She said there were mixed opinions from the women...some wouldn't dream of not having a mani/pedi every 2 wks, some wouldn't dare go 2 wks w/o getting their hair done, some don't step foot into a salon bc they do all the stuff at home and some do well to just get to work in one piece and have the "take it as you see it" attitude. lol..

 

[Badjedidude]

Well, obviously there's some sort of hygienic standard to which I'd expect a mate to hold.

Other than that... it's not really important to me if a girl looks SUPERMODEL hot every day. In fact, sometimes the homey, comfortable look is best. It really just depends on what the girl can get away with. Same with men.

But... showering daily and wearing deodorant, brushing teeth, brushing hair, etc... I'd expect that.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

...simply want the woman to actually respect herself enough to come out of the house w/o looking a mess. When they were asked to elaborate, they said understand that all of us have an "off day," but don't look a mess daily & then be mad when you can't get a date. They went on to say they don't mean you have to have fake stuff on from your head to your feet, but show that you DO care about what you have going on. My sister said a couple of guys in the room said they didn't care as long as the woman was clean & didn't stink. ...

Pretty much this. I kind of prefer someone who has no problem getting down and dirty but cleans up after work/play time. If your "beauty routine" is simply brushing your teeth, a quick shower, brushing your hair, and ready to go I'm all over that.

 

[EveWasFramed]

But... showering daily and wearing deodorant, brushing teeth, brushing hair, etc... I'd expect that.

This. ^^ Especially the good dental hygiene part - brush, floss, have your teeth cleaned a time or two each year. (If you want kisses, that is. )

 

[ippi]

Appearance attracts, but personality takes care of whatever comes after an eventual "getting-to-know-eachother". I'd say they are equally important since I doubt anyone can be with a person thinking "crap my boy/girlfriend is ugly as hell". Keep in mind though, people have really different tastes. My taste in women are completely different to most people. Some may think they are OK looking while I can see them as the goddess of my dreams y'know, while the "classic" sexy women would not attract me at all. When it comes to personality, it has to be one I can cope with. I mean, of course I can't be in a relationship with someone I don't get along with. Oh and, I could never be with a person who fit certain characteristics of the types of people I hate.

 

[Dissident]

Well, obviously there's some sort of hygienic standard to which I'd expect a mate to hold.

Other than that... it's not really important to me if a girl looks SUPERMODEL hot every day. In fact, sometimes the homey, comfortable look is best. It really just depends on what the girl can get away with. Same with men.

But... showering daily and wearing deodorant, brushing teeth, brushing hair, etc... I'd expect that.

</thread>

 

[angel_in_view]

Good responses so far...I knew this would be a popular one. Well, I have friends that are on both sides of the spectrum. One girlfriend of mine is from the West Coast(lives in TN now) and she is a definite girly, girl. I call her my "West Coast Diva friend." In the Summertime, she gets pedicures every 2 weeks, hair is done every 4 wks and you better believe she is rocking a cute outfit DAILY...even when its casual gear. She even has cute sweat pants & matching tops. I love her though bc while she's got her "diva" tendencies, she's not uppity or puts you down if you don't happen to be like her.

I have a childhood friend who is on the other end of the spectrum. She's girly(compared her tomboy sister), BUT she's the one w/the "it is what it is..what you see is what you get and if you don't like it, you can step off" attitude. She basically gets up in time to get cleaned up, throw on whatever she puts her hands on first(wrinkled or not) and runs out the door. She has no desire to get a pedicure or manicure, but keeps her nails trimmed. Polish may/may not be fresh and she wears sandals/flip flops pretty much year round. She will be the first to tell you that her hands and feet are rough and lotion is an afterthought bc "she's not worried about it." What cracks me up about her is that she has NO TROUBLE at all getting dates! That just goes to show you that appearance sometimes doesn't matter.

 

[Dissident]

Well the former may also appear to be very high-maintenance (both in looks and the kind of company they keep) which can be pretty intimidating. It can also lead lots of guys (like myself) to basically go "huh, out of my league... oh well."

 

[ilios]

Hello! Interesting post!

Personally i don't have trouble in finding men that find me attractive (its all about keeping them lol) and im not a girly girl.
Im one of those people who looks like they just rolled out of the bed (usually this is the case), you know unbrushed hair, wrinkly clothes that i found somewhere on my floor and other indicators.

once i went to a club in my nightgown, i had two admirers that night! (to be fair its a pretty badass nightgown)

everyone makes decisions based on a persons looks, but in the end (for me) its all about good hygiene and manners!

 

[angel_in_view]

Hello! Interesting post!

Personally i don't have trouble in finding men that find me attractive (its all about keeping them lol) and im not a girly girl.
Im one of those people who looks like they just rolled out of the bed (usually this is the case), you know unbrushed hair, wrinkly clothes that i found somewhere on my floor and other indicators.

once i went to a club in my nightgown, i had two admirers that night! (to be fair its a pretty badass nightgown)

everyone makes decisions based on a persons looks, but in the end (for me) its all about good hygiene and manners!

Ilios - OMG...you and my friend could be twins! I've known her for over 15 yrs and she's one of my best friends. When I first met her though, I must admit I was a little "taken back" by what she was saying about her "habits." I don't mean I was making fun of her bc I wasn't and still don't. When I met her, she was talking about how she constantly goes around town doing errands in her gown & mumu. I thought, "omg...are you kiddin'?" I thought she was exaggerating. Well, she wasn't. We used to live together for a short time while in college and it was nothing to see her go out w/rollers in her hair and a housecoat. People used to give her crazy looks, but once they got to know her, they just got used to "how she was." It blew my mind though bc I just wasn't raised like that. lol. l I am not a "diva" in the least bit, but umm.....i'm not gonna run to the store in my nightshirt, gown, housecoat, pj bottoms etc. She's just like you...she can pull some guys! . She's gone out w/some cute guys too! Needless to say, she gets the "what in the hell??" looks for women at times bc they wonder how she does it!

I'm in the middle of the spectrum I guess you could say bc I don't MIND getting a pedicure every now and then, but after paying for several, I got tired of wasting the $ on something I could do myself. So that's what I did. I keep my feet, nails and hair in order all of the time. I would NEVER want to get into bed w/my man and have my feet looking like his. Plus, I like sandals in the Summer and can't have my heels lookin' like chunks of salt. Oh my...I can't imagine! My friend doesn't mind though. She told a guy she was dating once about her feet bc she was NOT gonna do anything about them..they weren't going to be pretty and soft, so if he couldn't handle that, he could go on. He didn't care! When she told me that story, I laughed so hard my stomach hurt! I can't imagine "warning" a guy about my feet!

 

[Edward W]

In honour of this thread I will now have a shower. I'm posting this completely naked, and I ain't wearing any clothes neither!

 

[angel_in_view]

Hello! Interesting post!

Personally i don't have trouble in finding men that find me attractive (its all about keeping them lol) and im not a girly girl.
Im one of those people who looks like they just rolled out of the bed (usually this is the case), you know unbrushed hair, wrinkly clothes that i found somewhere on my floor and other indicators.

once i went to a club in my nightgown, i had two admirers that night! (to be fair its a pretty badass nightgown)

everyone makes decisions based on a persons looks, but in the end (for me) its all about good hygiene and manners!

Ilios - OMG...you and my friend could be twins! I've known her for over 15 yrs and she's one of my best friends. When I first met her though, I must admit I was a little "taken back" by what she was saying about her "habits." I don't mean I was making fun of her bc I wasn't and still don't. When I met her, she was talking about how she constantly goes around town doing errands in her gown & mumu. I thought, "omg...are you kiddin'?" I thought she was exaggerating. Well, she wasn't. We used to live together for a short time while in college and it was nothing to see her go out w/rollers in her hair and a housecoat. People used to give her crazy looks, but once they got to know her, they just got used to "how she was." It blew my mind though bc I just wasn't raised like that. lol. l I am not a "diva" in the least bit, but umm.....i'm not gonna run to the store in my nightshirt, gown, housecoat, pj bottoms etc. She's just like you...she can pull some guys! . She's gone out w/some cute guys too! Needless to say, she gets the "what in the hell??" looks for women at times bc they wonder how she does it!

I'm in the middle of the spectrum I guess you could say bc I don't MIND getting a pedicure every now and then, but after paying for several, I got tired of wasting the $ on something I could do myself. So that's what I did. I keep my feet, nails and hair in order all of the time. I would NEVER want to get into bed w/my man and have my feet looking like his. Plus, I like sandals in the Summer and can't have my heels lookin' like chunks of salt. Oh my...I can't imagine! My friend doesn't mind though. She told a guy she was dating once about her feet bc she was NOT gonna do anything about them..they weren't going to be pretty and soft, so if he couldn't handle that, he could go on. He didn't care! When she told me that story, I laughed so hard my stomach hurt! I can't imagine "warning" a guy about my feet!

 

[perfanoff]

Everyone makes decisions first and foremost about appearance.

Read my lips.

E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E.

If you dare to think otherwise.. I'll meet you in fairyland when I go to bed and dream.
Unless you are not at least somewhat physically attractive, then I promise you that there is no chance in hell that I will dream of you.