just letting it out

[Scott]

hi everyone, first time i have posted on here.

sometimes i just really want to tell someone that i need some help getting through things, you know? i just feel really alone when i have problems, like 10 minutes ago i looked through my whole phone book on my phone to see if i really could talk to somebody, even though i already knew there wasn't anyone. plenty of people, no-one i can open up to.

last week was the single worst week at work i've ever had. we finally got a new computer system and it's so frustrating i nearly walked out on work 3 times. that is saying a lot because i'm usually really patient at work. in general im very passive, although less so lately. i don't have a clue what i'm doing at work now and i feel totally lost. it took me quite a long time to really get the hang of my job since i started over last year, cos it was pretty tough to fit everything in on time and not get behind on things, but i was getting really good at it. now it's worse than starting all over again, there was only one day last week i didn't have a headache at work.

on friday i was so down i went to the nearest pub and drank myself stupid right after work finished until it closed at 1am. felt so bad on saturday i didnt get up until 5pm. didn't speak to anyone all weekend, even online, although that isn't unusual lately.

i called in sick today at work, first time in over a year. i woke up this morning and just couldn't face getting up. so i just laid there for 2 hours hoping it would go away. ofc it didn't and then i had to make the phone call to work. felt like such a liar and a coward doing that. but then for some hours i just went back to bed and everything went away. trouble is now it all comes back again like it always does. and now i've got work in the morning.... always work in the morning... before this weekend i had to work 12 days in a row and i just about felt like quitting right there and then.

tbh work isn't really even the main problem. it's just always been the thing that kept me kinda upbeat and almost optimistic as i could be. i've always worked lots of extra hours, quite a lot of the time when i wasn't even getting paid for them, just mostly so i could be around ppl i knew and who i was friends with at work, and i knew i was always valued there cos i have always been good at my job wherever i worked. cos i knew when i got home it would just be me on my own as always. i guess it always comes down the the same thing.

but now i even despise going into work. it's about now i usually have a habit of quitting my job and running away from things. i am gonna make a real hard effort to not do that this time. mostly cos i really cannot afford to lose my job. i really would have nothing at all within a few weeks, i pretty much got no money at all saved up so i'd be living on the street fairly soon.

i read this chat forum fairly regularly now. i like how honest and friendly ppl are on it and it makes me feel like im not alone. not that i get pleasure out of seeing that a lot of other ppl hate their lives too. that part makes me quite sad. i like talking about things it makes them seem better for a bit. maybe i can even help people out some too. it's not like i feel like this all the time. sometimes i'm just fine, people tell me i'm a funny guy most of the time, kinda funny in itself eh, if only they knew.

 

[Jeremi]

First of all, welcome to the forums! ^^

It really sounds like you're working way too much. You're burning yourself out. Lots of changes at work, lots of stress, late hours. You'll run into the wall eventually. Especially if you're holding in all the emotions when you don't have anyone to vent to. I don't know if being "burned out" is considered a disease where you're from, but if it is you could go see a doctor and try to get some time off work. If not, talk to your boss about your problem. Maybe he can give you some time off? Or at least make you work less. If that's out of the question, then at least talk to your boss and tell him that you're not comfortable with all the changes and that you have a problem with it. You seem like a very loyal worker, so he should listen to you, right? It's good to just vent sometimes.

Whatever you do, I hope you don't drink too much. You need to confront this problem. Drinking might soothe the pain for a while, but it will only make it worse in the end.

I know work can suck sometimes. I'm like you. I enjoy working, because I'm good at what I do, and I got nice workmates. I feel like I belong. But sometimes you feel like a robot. Getting up early in the morning, work, go to bed, work night, come home, go to bed straight away just to get up to work when you wake up ect. Sometimes you need a break. We're only humans

 

[Minus]

Welcome Scott

New computer systems can be quite frustrating to learn. You got the last one so you will get this one. Just feels like a step backwards for awhile. Hopefully you like it once you get it down better.

 

[lonelydude]

Though i dont work yet, i can really see what kind of excruciation ur going through, it has to do with adjusting right?
Life is full of adjusting, comprimising and what not, uve just got to keep ur head high and keep going forward.

And as for the part where u hate ur job or qutting, well have u ever asked urself WHY you feel this way? Maybe u need to do some soul searching for a while. What it is that makes u hate ur job. Maybe theres some job in the firm u MAY like. Just keep asking urself this question a few times a day, sleep over it and ull have the answer soon.

I really wouldnt recommend doing a job that u dont like, however if that means ull be on the street like u said, they well u may have to carry on at least for a lil while till u can really find what makes u hate it .

 

[Bluey]

Hi scott and welcome here mate. You know the part about the new system they just put in. Well I really simper-vise with that. cos you know I am not the sort of person that dose not pick things up easy. I can remember working somewhere and trying to learn how things where done and getting very frustrated cos I thought I was making my self look stupid. I do take a weal to learn new things but when I have learned them I then become a good asset to any work place. Even the last work I did they gave me a nice big cash sum when they sold up as a thank you and told me that if it was not for me then they would not have had a business to sell But it did take me a weal to learn stuff in that place and sometimes I run cos of it so I know how your feeling there.

I say if you took a day of cos of it then that's no big deal. Sometimes you got to do that. Its better to do that then get there and walk out half way fro cos you really had a enough. You know in the place I just told you about I had to writ peoples addresses out and my spelling as most here all ready know is nothing to be admired at. The boss there said to me JON, How do you spell this? It should of been an easy spelling for most and I had tried to hide this for over a moth at this point and just could not be bothered with it anymore. So I terned around and said. OK I can not spell its just the way it is so deal with it are show me the door lol I was quite forceful with how I said it as well and the two bosses who owned the place did not know me that well at the time. Well she showed me how to get the spell check up on the computer and rehashed me it was quite OK. You know from then on I liked her a lot. She well never know how much I respected her for the way she dealt with me there. My advice to you if your struggling is ask. If you come clean with the things you are struggling with at lest then you wont have to deal with them on your own and then hopefully someone well change something that when make it better for you to be there. As I say in the end I was the most liked imply in that place and was even given the keys to the place and ran it for weeks on end for sometimes why the owners where away.

It well get better and if your like me you well pick it up. It just may take you a bit longer. just take your time no mater how far you get behind. You can only do one thing at a time.

 

[JustLost]

i called in sick today at work, first time in over a year. i woke up this morning and just couldn't face getting up. so i just laid there for 2 hours hoping it would go away. ofc it didn't and then i had to make the phone call to work. felt like such a liar and a coward doing that. but then for some hours i just went back to bed and everything went away. trouble is now it all comes back again like it always does. and now i've got work in the morning.... always work in the morning... before this weekend i had to work 12 days in a row and i just about felt like quitting right there and then.

Welcome to the forum.

It sounds like you simply need a vacation. Even if you like your job, there's only so long before things start to feel routine and mind numbing. Human beings are creatures of variety. If we can't occasionally find new and interesting things to fill our lives with we stagnate and become depressed.

Not that I practice what I preach mind you. I've had the same job for over a decade and work in a room pretty much by myself. It's beyond old at this point. It's not a bad job and I'm lucky to have it, but there's days when I just feel like not bothering.

 

[davechaos]

I know what it is like to come home from work to the same old routine. I had 18 months of that after I split from my first wife...it was the worst time of my life...are you from the UK...I am always looking to try and start my friendship circle...my counsellor told me I should yesterday so here goes...if you need someone to talk to then fire away.

It is a difficult time for you so try not to run away from the things that keep your life stable.

 

[Scott]

Thank you everyone for the replies, I appreciate it.

Feeling a little better about things the last day or two. When I went into work on Tuesday morning I actually had my bosses take me aside for 10 minutes and having taken on my workload for just 1 day and split it between 3 people, they actually couldn't stop apologising to me for putting me under so much pressure over the last few weeks...

That was a huge suprise but they agreed to take some stuff off me for a while which has been really good over the last few days. I wouldn't say it's been enjoyable at all but I've not felt like throwing the monitor out of the window today so things must be a bit better at least.

I guess I do need to take some time off work, only trouble is nobody is allowed to take any holiday from April til July because of this new software! Kind of ironic considering that's the thing that is causing so much stress for so many people where I work.


Sometimes I get really bad evenings when I am at home feeling totally alone. I have been having more of them lately I guess but other days I don't really think about it. I guess Monday was a pretty bad one for me that's all. It's good to have some people who won't judge you for your down days.

 

[Minus]

That was a huge suprise but they agreed to take some stuff off me for a while which has been really good over the last few days. ...

Great, at least that part sounds like it is going much better. It always takes so much longer when you are just learning.