Just sick of the cycle...

[BrokenSoul]

I'm tired of being a friend, but not getting a friend in return. It almost makes me feel like easy prey. Since I have becoming disillusioned with the prospect of making friends in the real world, I try to make them online. As a shy person it can be a challenge and I portray myself as I really am (because as many shy folks are I am less shy around those I am more comfortable with). And the best way I thought to do this was to join boards pertaining to my interests.

In the beginning its still quite daunting, then you get a couple of private messages of people who do share your interest. But then the fun of posting back and forth seems to reach its end then-that's it. I'm not the type of person to pry so if a person wants to share personal info with me its fine. Then there comes the conversation between the two of you less and less and your back to square one. Because its does get boring just staying in the games section all the time.

Its hard to always feel frozen out when you look around and seems everyone has someone to either to chat with or buddy up with on the board but you. I've cut myself off enough for RL people for that very reason.

I then wind up being the one people vent to, but don't really care about or even want to claim as a 'friend'.

This is the way its always been for me and even though I do have hobbies I feel as if its wrong to want to connect to the community. My reason is because I'm tired of going through the same cycle over and over again. All I want to do is belong to a community where I have a common interest, what's the harm in that. I thought it was natural to want to interact with others but now I feel as if I'm just wired wrong and no one likes me not even online.

That's when I put on my protective hard shell so to speak and behave as if nothing happened. (Bad defense mechanism yet what else I can do?) I'm never rude but it looms in the back of my mind, 'No need to avoid me, because I won't bother you.'

Thanks for listening

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I don't know what gender you are,how old you are, and
What your intrrest are.

I join a modling ckub. I met people with a common
Interest. Plus it was also a hobby i enjoy. Building vasious
Aircrafts. Learning to master aerobics maneuver.
Plus it was face to face. Lotz of fun. I met sereral people
That became friends. It was also a healty eniornment
to be in.
It brought balance to my life. I was in a relationship at
The time. I dont drink or hang out in bars.
Play time away from work and relationships thats healhty.

 

[sylvestris lybica]

I can relate DX. It might be best to stop making it about finding friends and more about enjoying yourself while participating in a hobby with other people. At least then you'll practice social skills and get out among people without venturing too close to loss or disappointment to make it stressful. Hope you have a good experience on these forums.

 

[Lonely in BC]

I'm tired of being a friend, but not getting a friend in return. It almost makes me feel like easy prey. Since I have becoming disillusioned with the prospect of making friends in the real world, I try to make them online. As a shy person it can be a challenge and I portray myself as I really am (because as many shy folks are I am less shy around those I am more comfortable with). And the best way I thought to do this was to join boards pertaining to my interests.

In the beginning its still quite daunting, then you get a couple of private messages of people who do share your interest. But then the fun of posting back and forth seems to reach its end then-that's it. I'm not the type of person to pry so if a person wants to share personal info with me its fine. Then there comes the conversation between the two of you less and less and your back to square one. Because its does get boring just staying in the games section all the time.

Its hard to always feel frozen out when you look around and seems everyone has someone to either to chat with or buddy up with on the board but you. I've cut myself off enough for RL people for that very reason.

I then wind up being the one people vent to, but don't really care about or even want to claim as a 'friend'.

This is the way its always been for me and even though I do have hobbies I feel as if its wrong to want to connect to the community. My reason is because I'm tired of going through the same cycle over and over again. All I want to do is belong to a community where I have a common interest, what's the harm in that. I thought it was natural to want to interact with others but now I feel as if I'm just wired wrong and no one likes me not even online.

That's when I put on my protective hard shell so to speak and behave as if nothing happened. (Bad defense mechanism yet what else I can do?) I'm never rude but it looms in the back of my mind, 'No need to avoid me, because I won't bother you.'

Thanks for listening

Just a bit curious here- your banner indicates 1 post yet you have given several examples of being "left out"- is this what you've experienced on other sites? If so did you make your first post on those sites as discouraging, negative, and "woe is me" as your initial posting here.

A suggestion- come on in, relax, go to the punch bowl in the corner and help yourself (I'm pretty sure it's still spiked from Poguesy's last visit there) and get to know us a bit- there's some pretty nice people that hang out here.

 

[Tiina63]

I can relate DX. It might be best to stop making it about finding friends and more about enjoying yourself while participating in a hobby with other people. At least then you'll practice social skills and get out among people without venturing too close to loss or disappointment to make it stressful. Hope you have a good experience on these forums.

I agree with this advice. It can hard to follow though when, inside, you are so much longing to find a friend (or in my case someone to have a romantic relationship with), but it is a good attitude to have. You might be able to relax more and be yourself because you can shift your concentration onto the activity and away from if the people there might be seeing you as a potential friend.

 

[BrokenSoul]

As far as replying I really wasn't going to bother because its seems the tone of the responses to my post were not what I expected on a site such as this. I guess I'd become a little tired of assisting others or weeding through troubles members can have from time to time with each other (I'm a board moderator) and at the end of the day not connecting with any of them.

It was quite a sigh of relief to get how I was feeling off my chest. No need to reply because anything from this site will be going straight to spam until the webmaster bans or removes me.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Where are you from? I might try to be your friend offline if you were close and we were compatible.