Loneliness issue

[Bebeskii]

Hello guys.
I've just wanted to ask if you guys take it serious when someone behaves rude or mean towards you. I feel that loneliness made me very insecure. I texted someone and that person did not reply. I invited someone to go out for a cinema and that person was busy ( i know he is not busy ). I asked a simple question from my classmate and she didn't answer, totally ignoring me, because she was too busy enjoying others' company. Even if the slightest thing go wrong I'm too quick to conclude I'm hopeless and useless. Made a mistake in social situation and could not stop beating up myself and thinking over and over. I get easily dishearted or angry when someone pushes me away or say something negative. It seems normal people ( people with no loneliness) are totally unaware of this. They seem more invulnerable and mentally stronger than me. Do you guys feel the same? is it just me who is very insecure and vulnerable ?

 

[Nikki]

^^ Me exactly. I don't get angry usually though, I just wonder what I did wrong this time and it just makes the loneliness worse.

 

[Gutted]

I used to react more in my younger days yeah. These days though I just shrug it off. Nothing else I can do really. Cant make people pay more attention to us.

 

[Triple Bogey]

^^ Me exactly. I don't get angry usually though, I just wonder what I did wrong this time and it just makes the loneliness worse.

it's nothing you did wrong, don't blame yourself.
If somebody ignores me (and it happens a lot !) I never blame myself, I just think they are not interested and it's their loss !

 

[Hopetracer]

Please don't beat yourself up. I don't think you're insecure and vulnerable, maybe just a little more sensitive than the people you know and there is nothing wrong about it. I understand that you may look for a reason in your thoughts why somebody ignored you. It's what Triple Bogey said. Some people seem not to be interested for whatever reason they have in their mind.

When this happens I think I still have time to make friends who's going to actually like talking to me. You don't need people in your life who is not interested to talk to you, because you deserve better, Bebeskii. Study well, work hard and do what you want to do. Be successful in your life and make those people to regret treating you poorly.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Yep I've felt that way too, especially from someone who you care about.

 

[consmap]

While it may seem like others are "invulnerable" and "mentally strong", we can never be sure. It may seem like they can easily deflect negative feelings from our perspective but we don't know what is actually going through their mind.
You aren't alone in your thinking.

 

[Bebeskii]

Please don't beat yourself up. I don't think you're insecure and vulnerable, maybe just a little more sensitive than the people you know and there is nothing wrong about it. I understand that you may look for a reason in your thoughts why somebody ignored you. It's what Triple Bogey said. Some people seem not to be interested for whatever reason they have in their mind.

When this happens I think I still have time to make friends who's going to actually like talking to me. You don't need people in your life who is not interested to talk to you, because you deserve better, Bebeskii. Study well, work hard and do what you want to do. Be successful in your life and make those people to regret treating you poorly.

Thank you. I absolutely agree with you. From now on I will study more harder in my A-level exams. I hope university might be different in a positive way.

---

At least I'm not the only one who thinks in this way.

 

[GrannySmith111]

Pisses me off when people do that to me, but when I say something back it's as if I crossed a line :/.

 

[Darkness]

^^ Me exactly. I don't get angry usually though, I just wonder what I did wrong this time and it just makes the loneliness worse.

Same here Nikki same here...

 

[Nikki]

^^ Me exactly. I don't get angry usually though, I just wonder what I did wrong this time and it just makes the loneliness worse.

Same here Nikki same here...

 

[Veruca]

Hi Bebeskii,

Argh, sorry about those people ignoring you, that's not nice.

I can really relate to your experiences, I get hurt when people ignore me too, and I always end up feeling like I've done something wrong, something to deserve it. I think a lot of us who grew up feeling vulnerable or being isolated tend to feel this way. I don't really have a solution, I myself am still struggling with it, but I find that it helps to analyze the situation everytime it happens. Sometimes it is our fault, like I know I can be really annoying sometimes, and in those situations I try to accept that and move on. But sometimes people are just like that for superficial reasons...and the only thing to do is remind ourselves that there's nothing wrong with us.

I don't know if this helps, but I do know that it gets better if you keep trying to remind yourself that you're not as bad you think you are

 

[Case]

I have done this; The overthinking about social miscues and people being rude and/or ignoring me. It's probably why I have pushed certain people away from me because I get tired of being hurt. Unfortunately, I have also done this to people I've known quite a while. I justify this as self-preservation, but I wonder if I'm just intolerant to things that "simply happen" in social circles.

Anyway, I echo the sentiments here since I have felt the same way too.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I can really relate to your experiences, I get hurt when people ignore me too, and I always end up feeling like I've done something wrong, something to deserve it. I think a lot of us who grew up feeling vulnerable or being isolated tend to feel this way. I don't really have a solution, I myself am still struggling with it, but I find that it helps to analyze the situation everytime it happens. Sometimes it is our fault, like I know I can be really annoying sometimes, and in those situations I try to accept that and move on. But sometimes people are just like that for superficial reasons...and the only thing to do is remind ourselves that there's nothing wrong with us.

I don't know if this helps, but I do know that it gets better if you keep trying to remind yourself that you're not as bad you think you are

^^ This - exactly.
Some people are just very sensitive to being ignore (especially by people they care about). I try to remind myself that they may have something on their minds, be busy with something else, etc. My emotional response and my brain aren't always in sync though, and it causes some internal conflict I suppose. I try to compartmentalize it and most of the time it works. The times when it doesn't, well...it really makes me feel like honeysuckle. Luckily it doesn't happen too often.

Like Veruca said...just keep reminding yourself that it happens at times and everyone you know (including friends and family) are sometimes going to ignore you for whatever reason. It doesn't mean you've done anything wrong nor does it mean they don't care about you. (hug)

 

[Bebeskii]

Thank you for sharing your opinions. You guys are great.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Yes I feel this quite a bit myself. Anytime someone ends up canceling out on me I feel very low about myself and think to myself why nobody ever gives me a chance. You're not alone on this.

 

[BorrowedHope]

My situation is a combo of both honestly.

I have people who hurt me constantly (family members) and basically there isn't much I can do about it. My way of coping with the situation is that I push them away (of course not physically), it's almost a way of protecting myself. I get ridiculed and mistreated (brother) who basically shows how much of a better person he is (and better life he has).

You aren't alone in the frustration in having to deal with this. I hope this helps or makes sense.


BH

 

[mdf49]

yeah i'm pretty much exactly the same and it sucks